I  see your point. like i said i would NEVER ask a well known hobbyist about the donation...I guess i felt a little uneasy about a new gentleman coming to see me. it worked out well though. I didn't ask about donation and he gave it to me up front. It took the worries out my my hands. thank you for your input..

I have found that if the provider is up front about it right away (i.e. "Please put the donation (in a sealed envelope) on the table or nightstand upon arrival") it makes things a bit clearer and sets down guidelines right away rather than having that uncomfortable silence put the damper on the session.  I have grown used to the don't ask don't tell method.  Trust in the provider/hobbiest has a lot to do with it as well.

I usually give the donation up front, and the envelope
is a good method.

One time, a provider (one I was a regular with) and I
got into it
so fast and hot, that I forgot about the donation,
and she forgot too.  Luckily, I remembered just before
I left, when the blood came back to my brain. Good thing,
it would have been awkward if she had to collect later
after I left.