So I open my email today to find that a provider has given my contact info to Preferred 411!  I know it was this provider, as the P411 email states it is an invitation through her.  That is absolutely unprofessional!  I specifically didn't want to register to a place like this, as I don't want my details floating around.  Why I only see one provider (hence the handle "oneoff").  I suspect there'll be more TER members to announce this, too.  Although she has completely lost it on this, I won't go to that same level and release her name.  Am I wrong to be pissed?

Its possible she was doing it with good intentions unless you specifically talked about this beforehand.  Its always a good idea to confront her with this before ranting about it here.  Although you were discreet in keeping her name confidential, is she reads this board it might offend her if you didn't go to her first with your grievance.  

-- Modified on 2/10/2011 7:31:18 AM

P411 offers both providers and hobby guys a tremendous service.  they also have a feature that allows providers to invite clients that they see to join.  I think in your case that she should have asked your permission first, but it happens more than we know.  the only thing that is known to P411 is your hobby email address, and there's not much that they can do with that i think.  if you acturally joined, then any information that they would have would be what you gave them, and not her.

But she may well have thought she was doing something nice for you.  I would talk to her about it; while you are understandably upset I don't think it is as bad as you think it is.

Thanks for the relaxing responses.  Not knowing what info she passed along, I immediately thought the worst.  She has been told long ago that I was looking for one provider only, so P411 isn't something I would desire (though in the future you never know - there's some extremely enticing girls out there!).  I just expect a high level of confidentiality, which I feel this breaches.  Maybe this was done to encourage me to see others?!?  Nonetheless, I'm chillin'.

What I don't understand is why would she offer your information if you are a "one only" type of guy? Was she aware that you were only interested in seeing her?  I'm confused as to why she would offer  your information to a screening site if you had no interest in seeing other ladies.

I feel as if there is more to this story to be unveiled. Or maybe the two of you had some communication glitches?

It's so interesting that the same "experts" who post on here assuring you that providers can be trusted with your personal information, are now assuring you that Preferred 411, the recipient of your personal information from the trustworthy provider, is also trustworthy!

Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me!

When she sent you an invite all she did was place your email in a box and then she could attach a message with it. Their is no personal information other than email(which should be your hobby email) given to P411 when she sends you an invitation.

xoxo Andrea

She assures me that only my email address was compromised.  I'm feeling much better about that.  I don't think there were communication issues, just a presumption that I would perhaps be interested in P411.  This hobbying is pretty new to me; I'm treading carefully.  Not yet "comfortable" with it.  So I may have over-reacted with my concern, is all.  I'll get there.

I would never share a friend's information without their permission.  I do think you should discuss it with her directly, however.  I don't know what sort of "details" were given but I cannot imagine it would have been anything other than your hobby email address.  In that case, I wouldn't be too concerned other than the fact it went against your wishes.  That is valid.

gee, if only his hobby email was shared then nothing of a personal nature was compromised and the trustworthy provider is still trustworthy. However, if the OP is using his PERSONAL email then shame on him.  Place blame where blame is due and none where none is due.  This is just a case of the OP getting a little worried over an innocent misunderstanding and, in my opinion, is a prime example of why open communication is key.  No harm no foul.  

Key point:  P411 recieved NO PERSONAL INFORMATION

Key point:  P411 recieved NO PERSONAL INFORMATION

Or so they say.  What would YOU say under the same circumstances.  

Let me ask you a question.  If you were with a provider and you went to use the bathroom, would you leave your wallet on the nightstand?  Why or why not?  

If the provider told you it was OK, would that change your answer?

was given, she tells me (and I believe her).  Comments here tell me it's likely, as well, that that is all it was.  What sparked me was my hobby email has my real first name (only), which the email I received used, so I assumed something that in hindsight I shouldn't have.  So it's not as bad as I initially thought.  Just not yet as comfortable with the hobby as perhaps I should be, so my response was a bit reactive.  Thanks for the reassurances that is much to do about nothing.  Though through communication with the provider, I think she may have took exception to my complaint (though I don't think it was a bad email I sent her).  Shame - she's good!

This never should have happened. No provider has the right to give ANY of your information, even a hobby email, without your consent. This shows very poor judgement on her part.

This may come as a surprise to you, but nobody that has "commented" on your situation has the least idea what this woman did with your personal information!  How could they?  They don't even know who she is.

As long as you are putting your "little head" back in charge, why stop with on line groveling?  Why not send her flowers and beg her to forgive you for even suggesting that she was in the wrong?  Of course, an additional cash offering would always be welcome, too.  Why not go all the way and drop off your wallet with her?  I'm sure she'll promise to give it back, when she's done with it.

P411 started charging ladies to put up traveling/tour ads.  So one of the ways to earn points
is to invite both other ladies and gentlemen to join.  Those points can be used to purchase those ads on the site.
The only info she would give is your email address.  She didn't give them anything other than that!
If you don't want the free 6 month membership on there, just decline it.  Then ask the lady not to do it again.  She was trying to do you and herself a favor. I don't think any ill will was intended.

In a previous post, directed to the person who started this thread, I stated that "nobody that has "commented" on your situation has the least idea what this woman did with your personal information."

That's a fairly broad statement, but it has yet to be challenged.   If you can, why don't you prove me wrong?  

You stated that "She (the provider) was trying to do you and herself a favor. I don't think any ill will was intended."  

Really?  How could you know that?

You have suggested that you may have some general knowledge of the P411 billing practices and that the provider may have been motivated to "out" our friend in exchange for credit on her advertising bill.

Other than general knowledge of the P411 system, could you tell us what you know about this specific incident and how you know it?  What has this woman done with this person's personal information?  How did you gain your knowledge of this person's intentions, whether related to favors or "ill will" or anything else?  Have you spoken directly with the provider in question?  Are you that provider?

Most likely, your comments are based on speculation rather than actual knowledge of this incident.  If that's the case, I think it is important for you to make that clear.  Otherwise, readers may be mislead into thinking you actually know what you are talking about.  It's only fair.

Go troll the Chicago board.  SassyRed gave you straight-up truth about P411.

Can I assume that you don't have any actual knowledge of this transaction either?

If "SassyRed" is a provider, as she advertises, she is in a position to know about P411's billing procedure.  However, the fact that she is a provider doesn't mean she is knowledgeable about the transaction under discussion, unless she was directly involved.

The only "straight-up truth about P411" that SassyRed has offered is that P411 offers providers a financial incentive to share confidential information about their clients, and some providers do so.

I don't dispute that!

I wrote my opinion and I believe that is what THIS board is for.

I am a member of P411 and I have found that site to be helpful for me.  I know of a few of
their procedures because they inform me of changes when I log on to that site.  
I do not have the particulars of this and only responded to what the OP was. Not sure why
my opinion to a newbie was being jumped on.  And no it wasn't me who invited the OP.

I have invited friends of mine to join by giving their email addresses in the past.  I have had guys
ASK ME to  invite them so they can get the free trial membership and MY okay on that site.
If they didn't want to join, they didn't have to.  I don't always do it but I have done it.
All I ever provided was a hobby email address. I don't know if P411 asks for more than that and it is up to each individual to decide what they are comfortable in sharing with that site.

Now excuse me while I go book these appt requests I have received from P411 today.

Back to your regularly scheduled program.

Again, there was no PERSONAL INFORMATION shared with P411 UNLESS the OP himself uses a personal email when arranging dates with the ladies.  If a person only uses "safe" email and "safe" phones then there is little danger in sharing such information with the likes of P411 so please stop trying to cause trouble where there is none.  You, sir, cause more danger to the hobby community with your "panic" mentality than anything I have seen in quite some time.   Yes, it is important to be safe and secure with your private information but panicy behavior is extremely dangerous! People do stupid things when they panic!! So do us all a favor and calm down a little!!!!!   When a lady shares a gents email address with P411, it is then up to him to give additional information.  If he chooses not to sign up, they have no other information other than his "safe" hobby only email.......again, unless he is ignorant enough to use his personal or work email to hobby with.  In that case, HE is the unwise one.  Would you not agree?

Well, I'll do my best to try to avoid "panic."  

Let's see if I understand your position.

1)   You have no personal knowledge of the incident, but it is your opinion that the provider shared only harmless information with P411; and  

2)   It is your opinion that the provider and P411 have the hobbyist's interest at heart and should be trusted not to misuse his personal information; and  

3)   If, if it turns out you are wrong on items #1 and #2, any harm that occurs is the hobbyist's own fault for foolishly trusting the provider with his personal information.

You seem desperate to have me agree with you.  I'd like to help you out, but I can't.  Item #3 probably has some merit, but Items #1 and #2 are pure nonsense.

I do agree with you that we should all avoid "panic."

No part of any information, even just a hobby emai,l should be given to anyone by a provider without the hobbyists consent.

Of course, I fully agree with you.  

You can't breach someone's confidentiality, "just a little."

I do understand what PERSONAL INFORMATION is. I never used the term PERSONAL INFORMATION. I only said INFORMATION. My position is that NO INFORMATION should be given out without consent.

1.  That a safe HOBBY only email address is not PERSONAL INFORMATION.  According to the OP and providers who have referred clients to P411, the only information the provider herself is required to give is the hobbyists safe email address.  Not his full name, nor his address, nor his phone number, nor his place of employment, nor his social security number, not even the name of his first born child.  Just his safe hobby only email address.  NO PERSONAL INFORMATION.  Maybe you do not understand the meaning of personal information?  The only way an email address could be considered "personal information" is if it was his work email or his every day email address and if a hobbyists uses that to hobby with then, yes, in all honesty, he is foolish.  Not for trusting a provider with his "personal information" as you put it, but, rather for being so negligent in the care of his own privacy and safety in the first place.

2.  It is also my position that you, on multiple and repeat occassions, try to create drama and panic in this hobby community when and where none needs to be.    

Follow my conversation and the indentations.  I have no beef with you. I don't know who you are and don't recognize your alias as someone who is repeatedly causing trouble.  I was, however, responding to threecupsplease who has repeatedly and consistently been antagonistic in his responses here.  

I have no problem with anyone having an opinion but I do take issue when the poster is overly aggressive and antagonistic with EVERYONE who has a differing opinion.

Anywho, carry on!!

Mr. TheOtherSideSays-

You stated that "It is also my position that you, on multiple and repeat occassions, try to create drama and panic in this hobby community when and where none needs to be."    

These are serious charges.  If they are true, it looks like I owe some apologies.  I don't want any more drama or panic occurring on my watch!  

If you could provide me with the names and contact information for all persons, known to you, who have experienced either drama or panic, or both. as a result of my comments, I will contact each of them to apologize.

If there are simply too many for you to list, send me as many as you can, and I will start with them.  If you think of any more later, send them along.

If any readers of this post have, themselves, experienced drama or panic, or both. as a result of my comments, I invite them to post their own contact information, so I can contact them without delay.

Peace!