-- Modified on 2/11/2003 8:28:00 PM

here is a funny one about our neighbor

http://www.theonion.com/onion3904/north_dakota.html

This is not really a joke but an old play with some funny parts.

There's an old Greek play: Lysistrata (411 B.C) where all the women go on a sex strike to end war. As Lysistrata and a Seinfeld episode point out sometimes the ladies can't hold out long either. Below are some excerpts. Follow the link for the whole thing. It's interesting that after 2000+ years most books still water down the language for political correctness. Good thing we have the internet.

Lysistrata: ...If we women really want our men to make peace, then we must... abstain.

Myrrhini: Huh? From what? Please explain...

124 Lysistrata: We will go on strike! We shall all abstain from cocks!

(Triumphant )

No more cock! ...

Myrrhini: I can’t do it, Lysistrata. Not me. I... Let the war drag on.

Caloniki: Yea, me too, Lysistrata. Let the war continue...

Lampito: It’s true, damn it. It’s a harsh and difficult thing for a woman to go to sleep, alone. Without a prick, I mean. Yet... yet... yet, we must! We must have peace!

...

Lysistrata: Lampito, and the rest of you, too. All together: Repeat after me: There’s no prick, lover’s or husband’s...

Together: There’s no prick, lover’s or husband’s...

Lysistrata: That will approach me erect...

Together: That will approach me erect...  

Lysistrata: Shut in at home, I’ll live prick-less and chaste...

Together: Shut in at home, I’ll live prick-less and chaste...

Lysistrata: And I’ll be dressed seductively and be beautifully made...

220 Together: And I’ll be dressed seductively and be beautifully made...

Lysistrata: So as to set afire my man’s desire...

Together: So as to set afire my man’s desire...

Lysistrata: And let him not fuck me with my consent...

Together: And let him not fuck me with my consent...

Lysistrata: If, however, the prick forces itself upon me...

Together: If, however, the prick forces itself upon me...

Lysistrata: I will not reach orgasm... at the same time as it does...

Together: I will not reach orgasm... at the same time as it does...

Lysistrata: I will not have my slippers raised to the ceiling...

230 Together: I will not have my slippers raised to the ceiling...

Lysistrata: Nor will I, like a whore, take up for him the position of the lioness-on-a-cheese-grater...

Together: Nor will I, like a whore, take up for him the position of the lioness-on-a-cheese-grater...

-- Modified on 10/5/2005 5:10:40 PM