After a recent outcall appointment, which did no go as well as I hoped, I found myself thinking that since it was clear pretty much right away there was just no chemistry between us I should have called it off rather than follow through and be disappointed.

Which begs the question I'm sure others have had to face from both sides. What is the proper etiquette for calling off an appointment shortly after you have met each other and have realized it probably won't work out? While I'm sure there are differences for provider Vs. client I'd really like to hear both points of view on how the client should call things off.

Of particular concern is how much compensation should one give the lady for her time and effort, especially with regards to outcall?

Thanks!

Be vocal about the lack of chemistry; than say, "this is just not going to work out. I must go now."

As far as the compensation goes, that is something you should work out right there on the spot. IF you are the one leaving, I would say more than 20 but less than half of the total donation.
If she is the one leaving, she should not take a cent.

Awkward as it is, you will be much happier with yourself if you do not go through with it.

I am interested in the other opinions on this too!

If her photos were an accurate and recent representation of her, but you simply did not feel chemistry, I think that you should pay her in full for the time you reserved out of her day. You knew what you were getting from her photos; however, you did not feel the chemistry when you arrived. That is on you (provided she attempted to make you feel chemistry and at ease).

However, if you arrive and she looks nothing like her photos or has a bad attitude preventing either of you from developing chemistry, I would not pay her anything!

Just be honest and you can't go wrong.

Good luck hun!

Xoxo,
Gia

(This is not an “ad”. This is board involvement.)

I have had a few appointments where the chemistry just wasn't there. It's no fault of mine or his - sometimes two people just don't click! In times like that, I would prefer my client be honest with me instead of having to go through the entire appointment feeling awkward and uncomfortable.

As far as compensation goes, though, I agree with Gia. If her pictures were accurate and she is making every effort to accommodate you, and you're just not feeling it, man up and pay the full amount (or close to it), especially if it's an outcall. Although I think if it's a multi-hour appointment, you can probably negotiate to only pay for an hour or so.

It depends on the escort, too... BebeDoll from Chicago's "door rejection" fee is $1000.

Personalities vary and if it's a matter of chemistry or just "not clicking", it is probably best for you to say something in a respectful manner, negotiate an agreed upon donation (maybe 25-50%), and leave gracefully.  Staying and having a disappointing experience because your personality didn't mesh and then possibly giving a poor review when neither party was at fault is not fair to either person.

After that brief S&G interlude...thanks ladies for your insight!

However, this situation still has me puzzled. I did go through with the appointment and submitted a somewhat negative review but I'm now thinking twice about that based on Belinda's comment.

While I think the review I wrote was completely honest and I made a point of mentioning the lack of chemistry I do think I have a right to be a critical reviewer and offer my perspective so long as it is honest and not intended to be hurtful in any way or overly negative.

From my point of view the provider has a responsibility to make an effort that I genuinely felt was not there, the lack of chemistry only compounded the problem but I feel it could have just as easily been overcome with an effort on her part that was even equal to the effort I was making.

A little context, I am an 40 something worldly professional  and easily able to mix with all types from Fortune 500 CEO's to socially inept teenagers and I take pride in my social skills and ability to make people feel comfortable. I've never had an experience as bad as this with any other provider and this provider was young, with little experience in the profession and made what are in my book some glaring errors that should be pointed out both for her sake and for potential clients. Some of which I drew attention to during our meeting and others I am mentioning only after the fact as things were already awkward enough.

So how about it gents...and ladies. Am I justified in posting the review?

FWIW, the pictures were accurate but looks were not the issue here so that is sort of irrelevant.

I would say submit the review but make it clear (and it sounds as though you have) that it was perhaps due to her inexperience, young age, and a personality conflict.  It sounds as though you made an honest effort and she failed you, in this case.  I think you are justified in giving a review based on what you have stated here.  

Hope you have a better experience next time, hon!

Hugs, Belinda

mmmmmm,Gia am I sensing a little sensitivety re advertising instead of another "threat" to those that lightly questioned you last night?  Funny how that whole thread just disappeared?? It is obvious that providers and white knights still run the MN board and every one else is pretty much stiffled.  At least I thank you for not threating us again who raised a simple question. And I think everyone would agree with the obvious and that this is just "board involvement" and that you are one of the hotest ladies in the Twin Cities.  I wonder if anyone else noticed that thread being pulled and pondering why?

Even if there being no chemistry is just from people not "clicking" and the escort is truly making an effort to be nice and accommodating (to the degree that reviews indicate and common sense should dictate, e.g. bareback still a no-no), expecting the full donation when you have spent only 5-10 minutes together sounds ridiculous.  Sorry for being so blunt...let me try an example to explain my point:

Say there is a guy who needs a secretary.  He advertises a temp job and looks through applicants' resumes and find one that he likes, so he hires her and it turns out that she has in fact NOT lied on her resume (akin to an escort's pictures being accurate I'd say).  Great, a busy guy now has a secretary with all the skills he hoped for who works hard (like an escort being accommodating)!  

All goes well until on day two, she lets it slip that she is, say, a lesbian (or pick any other thing that was not known to the employer at the time of hiring)...and her employer just happens to be a Catholic priest.  Or say despite her working hard and being nice, she just doesn't get along with her boss.  

O.K., the employer and the employee are just not compatible so she is let go.  Neither has necessarily done anything wrong, but that doesn't mean she should be paid for time she doesn't actually work at the company (work time here being likened to the time and companionship actually spent with an escort).

She would be paid for the DAYS she works.  Full days are a standard increment of employment time in the corporate world, as are 15/30/60 min increments in the hobby world.  I'd say if things don't work out, a client should pay for the amount of time he was with her, rounding up to 15/30/60 minute increments (no, not just "more than [$]20" as previously suggested...unless you are in the business of picking up streetwalkers, lol).  So if the ad lists a 15 minute donation, pay that if you are there for 15 min or less.  Do the same for less than 30 and less than 60.  In the absence of 15 and 30 min rates, pay 1/4 or 1/2 of the 1 hr rate.

Obviously though, if a "door rejection fee" is clearly indicated a client should be fully prepared to pay it no matter what the reason for a short date (although I should note, the person you cite as having a rejection fee is in her "mid 40's... [and a] 7 [in looks] is [a] kind [rating].. .6 is probably more realistic...so please do NOT grab for her if looks are your focus..."  
I doubt the legal enforceability of such a door rejection provision, but when contacting an escort, a client implicitly agrees to this condition and IMHO should abide by it, and not doing so is dishonorable, not to mention jeopardizing of a future in hobby activity.

P.S. Employment law isn't the issue here, paying for services/time rendered (or not rendered) IS.  If you disagree, remember in the example she is a temp. employee with a contract stating as much, works for a church...oh and since this is being compared to escorting, there is no relevant employment protections in MN that I know of anyway.

P.P.S. Despite using the C. church as an example, this doesn't have to do with theology...just a hypothetical about employment.

I invite rebuttals; please just don't use the example to distract from the main issue of paying for time-not religion, ideology, etc.

I'm pretty sure that if someone got terminated for being a lesbian they'd not only demand extra compensation, but the employer would also have a serious lawsuit on their hands.

It really doesn't have anything to do with employment law or binding contracts. Paying us our hourly fee is a courtesy, yes - but it's a rather important one if you want to maintain a reputation as a well-behaved hobbyist.

...someone listens!

I reported my ad as hijacked yesterday and asked that it was taken down. It was pulled.

Thank you Ikcuts.

Thank you TER.

Yes, TER listens to the complaints of its consumers (I am a consumer as I pay for VIP monthly and push new members this way all the time).

Going forward, I will continue to communicate with TER. A couple of you feel the need to post replies to me under aliases or your handle accusing me of things, etc. I have worked in HR and know harassment when I see it. As a paying member of TER, I should have the right to post without your pestering me or posting rude replies to the point of making me not want to be a part of this community. I am a paying member here and I should feel welcomed. Please give it a break or I will report your posts as harassment.

Please do not reply to me, as I have nothing to say to you or RealP4U. Any further communication from you to me will be reported to TER.

As far as a threat goes, I supposed this is a threat to anyone who continues to post unwanted replies in response to me. Harass me and I will report you to TER. I think that threat is fair enough and understandable.

• Main Entry: ha•rass
• Pronunciation: \hə-ˈras; ˈher-əs, ˈha-rəs\
• Function: transitive verb
• Etymology: French harasser, from Middle French, from harer to set a dog on, from Old French hare, interjection used to incite dogs, of Germanic origin; akin to Old High German hier here — more at HERE
• Date: 1617
1 a : EXHAUST, FATIGUE b (1) : to annoy persistently (2) : to create an unpleasant or hostile situation for especially by uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical conduct
2 : to worry and impede by repeated raids (harassed the enemy)
synonyms see WORRY
— ha•rass•er noun
— ha•rass•ment \-mənt\ noun

I read this and I think you are hurting what little business you have when you hurl insults and type crazy rants into this forum or others. Hint Gia: Even with your supposed HR background,  when someone "harasses" you on TER or any other board you would hardly have grounds since what you do is illegal in most states and territories. Also, when you copy something from another site that is a form of copyright infringement and borders on plagiarism at the least. Even a 5th grader could explain what harassment meant in his own words. Go back to school and get a real job if you can't handle that it is okay to disagree with someone in a public forum.

I haven't read this whole thread, and it seems like there is some other stuff going on here, but:

As far as the graceful exit question goes:

In my opinion, especially for a GFE, you should get to "return the merchandise" free of charge, but pay any "shipping and handling/service fees" acquired for said purchase.

Also, I would consider tipping a girl something added for her time and effort (if she was really nice and what you expected physically) but just didn't have the right personality for you.

One time I had a "meet and greet" (only) planned and had dinner with a gentleman. We had the intention of having dinner that night and making other plans for the next evening.

It became obvious right away that this gentleman was quite self-centered and egotistical. I tend to clash with these types of people as I find the "better-than-thou" attitude completely abhorrent! Additionally, if there is a nice added douse of misogyny in the mix, well, then 'Houston, we HAVE A PROBLEM.'

I tried to be cordial, and give the man a chance, since first impressions aren't always correct and I rarely meet this type of personality in said situation.

However, it became clear though at the end, that neither of us were very interested in pursuing things.

Since he had paid me, I gave him his money back, minus cab fare to and from St. Paul which ended up being about $80. He got very angry that I was charging him for cab fare (especially after an expensive dinner), but I just politely informed him that "extras" such as cab fare are included in my donation, and that was necessary at the very minimum even w/out an extended date.

He was very rich and very annoyed, but hey, I felt it was only fair. I was just lucky he paid me first, because otherwise I would have been stuck in St. Paul!

Oooops!

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/harassment