I read many reviews that go into great detail on how the reviewer is performing all these fantastic feats of carnal pleasure upon the provider. I understand how this is great for the provider and some guy really get off (pun intended) on this.

Is it a major problem if I go see a provider with no interest in doing anything for her? I just want to be pleasured and that is why I go. I am obviously new to this and an infrequent hobbiest, but I do hobby.

I am looking for provider answers because I already understand that it is selfish.

Sorry for the reference but you should have it YOUR WAY.  

Although it is nice to get some attention and many clients enjoy pleasing the woman, you are paying so it IS about you. For some of us ... Probably many providers ... It's exciting to cater to you!

Neither do I hire an escort because I'm looking for someone to "please" with my awesome skills...  

The main reason for hiring out for a service is because I've got a shitty job that needs doing and I don't want to do it myself, why some guys make it more complicated than that is beyond my ability to fathom...

This has been my experience in the hobby.  Providers know who's paying for the date and seem glad to make the whole thing about me, glad to cater to my "special requests" if they are on their menus.

But at least for me... and everyone is different... it gives me great pleasure to give as well as receive.  One provider hit it on the head awhile back:  "You're a Pleaser," she said matter-of-factly, with a smile.  Guilty as charged.  So, I love giving massage as well as receiving it.  I love to see and feel the lady in ecstasy, enjoying the date as much as I am (yeah, yeah, I know sometimes it's an act... but sometimes it's not).  When she has a good time, it makes the date all the better for me.

I expect the reason I enjoy the pleasing part so much is that it's not something I get to do "at home".  I can get off at home--of course, it's not anywhere near as fun as doing it with the expert help of a beautiful, sexy woman.  But the only way I can fill my inner need to please a woman is for providers to let me please them. I've been lucky to find some ladies who are themselves great Pleasers, but don't mind taking a good part of the session letting me please them.  Thanks, ladies!  

It is not an unreasonable request, and it is your time, isn't it? Just ask prior to the date so she isn't surprised.... I don't think the right girl for you will be judgmental and condescending.

We hire a provider to provide.  If she pleasures the hobbyist with her activities and/or he pleasures her with his activities in order to bring him even more pleasure, (and in the best of worlds both take place) its still all about the hobbyist.  A perfect binez relationship.  We work hard for our money and enjoy spending it on pleasure activities.  Likewise the providers work hard for their money and I hope their time with me is not TOO painful.

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My honest thought is that I receive a great amount of pleasure from giving. I do love receiving from my partner, don't get me wrong- but giving pleasure and spoiling my lover gives me great satisfaction of a different kind.  

I will add that in my experiences, the majority of my encounters are with gentlemen who are givers; in a typical GFE encounter, giving AND receiving equate the "norm" and that's what typically goes down. Pun intended...

I do completely agree its all about your wants & needs...however I believe more gents are also givers than not. There is not one thing wrong either way, it is about what the caller wants.

of success in any relationship is : do only win - win deals.  I don't want to be involved in any relationship or transaction where some one wins and another looses.  I am there because I love to with a beautiful woman who wants me to be there.  we have all been there when the provider is looking off to one side watching the TV.  I want to go see Elan or Trinity because they are looking forward to me coming back.  How much fun would it be to have sex with a woman who doesn't want you to touch her.  I want her to love her job when the customer is me.  You cant buy that you need to earn it;boy some people are dumb

Personally,I get as much pleasure from giving as I do receiving.

Most of the gentlemen I have seen are givers also, and I totally get into that as well on my end, giving comes naturally and that's what I am here for. However, in my own mind the occasional appointment that just has the clients needs and that's it- well..I guess I just love sex and I can certainly wrap my mind fantasy around that too! I think somehow you can purvey your desires in a courteous way to who you are seeing also...

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I appreciate your reply. Not to seem too dramatic, the connection you speak about has been so lacking for so long in my marriage, and life, that I honestly do not know what to do. I have visited FS providers and I suck at the things I used to do very well and for very long time. It is almost like I forgot how to pedal a bicycle. I can balance and coast, however.

My one sidedness is not from selfishness, but from ineptitude (embarrassment). I know I can be made to cum, so I can at least do that. I get enough rejection and disappointment at home, so i wanted to find a provider that didn't mind just doing it and allowing me to enjoy without feeling even worse because I really am awful and I would not enjoy the humiliation.

You are most certainly not the first guy to enter the hobby having, or believing he has, lost all his skills at pleasing ladies. But see, it may not work like this with backpage fly-by-nights, but if you visit established providers whose reviews include comments like 'nice' or 'friendly' or 'responsive,' and tell them when you arrive that you would really appreciate some feedback to help you improve, then  

1. So long as you're not a jerk, none of them will mock you for lacking skills (or at least, if they do they will do so quietly, on their own time, nursing their bruises);

2. Given permission, all of them will tell you if something doesn't feel good, and 95% will be just as happy to tell when it does, and how you can make it feel even better; and  

3. The feedback you get will be expert, from women who have experienced vastly more than the average. More than one woman has gone so far as to tell me 'I like that, but every woman is different and if you see another provider you should also try this other to see if she likes it better.' Visit a provider whose profile says 'really bi' and those sorts of advices come easy. It can be a bit humbling if you learn some of those skills you thought you had before, weren't all that skillful.  

And the great thing is, it ain't like sports or chess or the violin. You don't need tremendous hand-eye coordination, or the brain power to think 12 moves ahead, or innate musical talent, to become proficient. All it takes is willingness to listen and practice. And where else is practice ever this much fun?  

But if none of that interests you, you are the one paying and you certainly have the right to ask the session be all about you and nothing else.

And it depends on who you see some ladies with limited menu getting off is about all you can do with them and there is times where that is all I want or all I have time for. Other times I want more. I once told a lady how much I miss just holding a women. My next visit she called and instructed me to come in lock the door and strip. When I came in she was in bed under the covers and I joined her there it was very nice very special. I like to repeat the more times I see someone the more I learn and the good ones will learn what you like. I have been surprised by how much some remember.

Hard part is finding the one that fits. And just because they are top rated dont mean you will click many a time I thought what was the big deal over rated but its differnt storkes for differnt folks.


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....it's your time and your money and with that I feel like i'm there to do what you like/for you to be able to do what you please (within reasons of safety of course lol). I'm naturally a people pleaser and try hard to make everyone happy so...if you like being selfish and just want to be served I LOVE IT.   But...I am a woman though so I like to be pleased but at least in the hobby anyways it's okay if my pleasure is second to yours (of course outside of the hobby lol it's sort of opposite but i'm nowhere near a selfish lover).  Some guys like spending the bulk of their time trying to please the provider because that's just what he wants to do....you're not some freak of nature if you just want to lay back and reap your reward .

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I make no claim to any great skill in the bedroom but I definitely believe I am improved from where I was when I first started P4P.