She promised "ONE FINAL THING" let it go. I just can't take any more screaming, at least without sex involved.
Would like an opinion. I had been seeing one of the area's more popular providers weekly for a year. Over that time we became friends - talking on the phone and texting but with the exception of taking her to the airport, never outside her incall location.
For the past few months, she has had a number of personal problems - fights with her incall roommate; married boyfriend going back to his wife; and a strained relationship with sick, dying mother. On more than one occasion, I was greeted at the door, with - "You're going to have to scrape me off the ceiling". That visit starting with a sensual massage but within a few (less than 10) minutes, we were lying on her table doing "therapy". I was happy to be there for her but there but nothing else happened. When I was leaving, didn't know what to do - this is her living - so I paid my donation. Felt a little strange but ..
Over the next few months, this did not happen just once, not twice but THREE times. We were friends.
Ethical is probably not the correct term, but was it right that I paid for services not rendered when I was trying to being a friend and confidant? Was I being played? It kind of feels like it.
The problem is not her or you. It is the lack of communication. You can control the session, just as much as the provider. If it happens once then think nothing of it, because you went back means that it made you feel good to be a therapist of sorts. If you want something else in the provider/hobbyist relationship then you got to speak up or you are just playing yourself. In my personal opinion do not look deeper than the provider/hobbyist relationship while hobbying. If you are not having a good time, then let the privider know.
Also...
I would not suggest giving a large sum of details of a provider that is in the area on a public forum
First off tmi about the provider
Secondly IMO no one was being played ... Very good of you to be a friend ... But time is money and if you don't speak up then you have allowed a habit to form
Lastly the provider now knows how you feel by reading this instead of an email or phone convo involving just the two of you not all of us
You sound like a sweet soul ... It's guys like you (truly caring) who remind us how human and in need of each other we are all
I disagree about tmi. If you know her, you will recognize her but I didn't even if ID her services or location.
The other part of the story was that the last few months her services declined. I did talk to her about it. DFK became a peck on the cheek. And it became a routine with the warmth that fosters the friendship dwindling. But my emotional support increased because I felt she needed it.
When I brought it up to her, she said it was difficult to do her "job" with me because she cared. She acknowledge that she was doing less and still taking the full price. Again, understanding that this is her living, is that how you treat a friend?
After some discussion - some of it heated - she finally said that she didn't want to see me as a client but wanted to remain friends. Unfortunately, my hurt response was that I didn't know how much she would charge me for being a friend.
I want to think I am a compassionate person. and see people as more than a service. She is special to me but feel very used.
Secondly IMO no one was being played ... Very good of you to be a friend ... But time is money and if you don't speak up then you have allowed a habit to form
Lastly the provider now knows how you feel by reading this instead of an email or phone convo involving just the two of you not all of us
You sound like a sweet soul ... It's guys like you (truly caring) who remind us how human and in need of each other we are all
I guess I didn't read all that about the sessions getting less and less i missed that part (you said it happened 3 times) etc ... But the first part I still think its too much info ... As you said I we know her, we will know who she is ... Don't you realize that many of us on here do know her? So again IMO it was too much info if even a few can identify her.
Maybe you should just listen to the guys then for advice since I was the only one here you chose to reply to and disagree with ... Peace
The other part of the story was that the last few months her services declined. I did talk to her about it. DFK became a peck on the cheek. And it became a routine with the warmth that fosters the friendship dwindling. But my emotional support increased because I felt she needed it.
When I brought it up to her, she said it was difficult to do her "job" with me because she cared. She acknowledge that she was doing less and still taking the full price. Again, understanding that this is her living, is that how you treat a friend?
After some discussion - some of it heated - she finally said that she didn't want to see me as a client but wanted to remain friends. Unfortunately, my hurt response was that I didn't know how much she would charge me for being a friend.
I want to think I am a compassionate person. and see people as more than a service. She is special to me but feel very used.
Secondly IMO no one was being played ... Very good of you to be a friend ... But time is money and if you don't speak up then you have allowed a habit to form
Lastly the provider now knows how you feel by reading this instead of an email or phone convo involving just the two of you not all of us
You sound like a sweet soul ... It's guys like you (truly caring) who remind us how human and in need of each other we are all
Chase, I'm truly sorry that your feeling hurt like you are!!!
But, when I read the following from YOUR OWN WORDS... I couldn't help but wonder if there's possibly something else going on?
PLEASE DON'T GET MAD... AS THIS IS ONLY MY OPINION...
And, in all honesty,
I'm trying to help as an "online" friend by helping you look at all angles (by playing "devil's advocate") I'm familiar with from reading your posts of this situation!!
You obviously care (or cared) a lot about this lady!!
She said because she developed "friendship" feelings for you that she really was willing to be your friend (& NOT charge you for that friendship!!!)
Now, if you have feelings for her in a way more intimate type of setting... That's gotta hurt you more than anything!! To know that she doesn't return those feelings of intimacy (and possibly perhaps... if you have any for her... "girlfriend type of love"... which can sadly sometimes happen from a GFE Experience!!! Now, this is where this becomes a problem!! She was showing you gfe because you were paying for it!! And, now, because she cares for you, she wants to be friends for free, cutting out the gfe situation!! In one way, do you think it's possible that your maybe not mad because she ONLY wants to be friends now.... Maybe you ARE feeling Rejection now because she no longer wants to be with you intimately???... leading to feelings of being "used"!!!
I'm truly sorry that this is happening to you & that your feeling the way that you are!!!
Please don't answer my thread on this board as this is NOT the place to talk about it!!! Keep these things in mind & see if maybe there's perhaps some truth behind them in your own head & reasoning!!!
Best of luck to you & this whole friendship that hopefully isn't ruined by this thread!!!
Take care of yourself,
Alicia Loveheart
The other part of the story was that the last few months her services declined. I did talk to her about it. DFK became a peck on the cheek.
When I brought it up to her, she said it was difficult to do her "job" with me because she cared.
After some discussion - some of it heated - she finally said that she didn't want to see me as a client but wanted to remain friends.
I am pretty far removed from the hobby at this present time.
And I do not know the OP nor the provider.
The old saying goes, there are three sides to a story, Your side ( OP ) the providers side, and then there is the Truth.
As far as I am concerned, I appreciate when a gent, or provider steps up, and makes it known that they have been mistreated. This is what this
board, and community is all about, INFORMATION.
I would venture to say, that there is a whole lot more to this post, than what has been written thus far.
The real important element here, is that whom ever posts, or replies, should stick to just the FACTS, and Only the Facts.
We can all speculate, and guess, and yes assume.
However, If just the facts are presented, then it is fair for the OP to lay it on the line.
This is a public board, and yes certain individuals can deduct just whom the OP is referring to, as well others can get an idea of whom the OP is.
I am rather jaded, when it comes to a business transaction, in which someone took something for granted, be it money, friendship, sex, or emotional support.
The receiver, is using, without good justification. Based upon the presented Facts,
I am inclined to think, that the provider crossed
some boundaries.
Had she bothered to talk to the OP, and state her reasons for having pocketed the donation, while not delivering on the services, or having delivered less without any explanation what so ever, puts her in the role of thief, or user, or
player.
I have heard plenty of times, where some individual is so classy, or so sweet, or so professional, and yet when I have been in a situation, where I am able to learn what the facts Truly are, or were, then I call Bull Shit on the offender!
That is just my style, and my way of doing business.
I see an OP who got screwed over. If she had given him lots of OTC in the past, so what !
She did so at her own accord, and she has no leg to stand on in using that as justification for her recent actions.
The OP, felt that he was getting the shaft, so he posted some Facts, and made it known that the business boundary had been crossed, with her using friendship, as a justification for her actions. Without first having consulted with and reached an agreement with the OP
There is no way anyone is going to convince me otherwise. Facts are Facts. He presented the Facts, and the provider is now going to run around and try to sling BS in an attempt to save face.
If in the past, she allowed OTC, it was her choice, If she did not want to do the OTC, then it was entirely her decision, to go beyond that Line. She did so, and there is nothing for her to be offended about in doing so.
She crossed a Line in taking his money, she crossed a line when she used the client / friend.
If she wants, she can return the money, like a good and fair professional would do, and call things even. Oh and she could also Apologize for her poor judgement.
If this provider is a
C.annot U.nderstand N.ormal T.hinking
then she deserves to be called to account.
No services rendered, yet fee collected spells
THIEF.
If what you say is true or as you would say Fact (let's all remember you started your rant with quoting the 3 sides to every story yet you assume his side are the Facts) then how is it her fault that he left the money after the sessions not once but 3 times in a 3 month period ... If he had an issue with it and not getting the services he "expected" then how is it her fault for keeping the money??? Why did he continue to leave the money? and who said she was GFE or FS? Are you serious? Did you read this back to yourself? As far as everything is fair game to be put on a forum ... I am so glad not all hobbyist are as cold and ignorant as this. We all share a bit of ourselves in our time together and people of maturity and integrity would respect privacy.
You know nothing more than a handful of Facts (as you call them) yet based on that alone you call her a thief and c.u.n.t ... You either have a lot of anger towards providers or you are still in high school!
Also what is up with capitalizing the first letter of some words?
-- Modified on 11/4/2013 7:32:52 PM
Sorry to hear about your recent experiences with
this particular provider.
In my opinion, I would not go so far as to say, that you got played, but it appears that you were
taken advantage of, Used is the better term that applies here.
Back in the day, when I was active in the hobby, I had a somewhat similar experience with a provider whom I had seen very often.
When I addressed the issue, she blew up at me, and told me to go to hell, as she had more than enough clients, that she did not Need me nor my Money. That clearly was uncalled for.
I gladly took a hike, and began to engage those
providers who were willing to provide services,
and not cross boundaries where a mutual friendship is present.
No One likes getting used, or taken advantage of, it is upsetting to have someone test the boundaries, to see what they can get away with.
There is only one person you should be asking.
It was your choice to drop the envelope and it is your choice to keep going or move on. I will say you don't sound happy with the way things are going. She may seem like a friend but when was the last time you payed by the hour to console any other friend you have?
you guys crossed a boundary long ago. Now you have to decide what the nature of your relationship is. is it purely P4P, if so she's using you. Are you really friends, if so and you are just helping your friend out finacially it shouldn't matter. I am happy to lend an ear for free if thats what someone needs, but I'm not so sure I would be happy to pay for the privilege.
Dr. TR has it right, comprehensively, as do the rest of the comments.
Crossing boundaries in the hobby is fairly common; managing the boundary-crossing well and respectfully is rare. The basic bargain of P4P works because it's so clear: there's nothing ambiuous about a handful of Franklins; there's nothing ambiguous about a hard cock. The payment of money creates a crisp boundary: we all know what we're here for.
But once a provider becomes a friend on the level that you describe, or a lover, then the issue of money has to be surfaced, discussed, and decided upon. And ... that discussion has to include an acknowledgement that the relationship is something more than, or different from, P4P. Boundaries have to be re-defined, and this is potentially threatening to both parties and is almost always going to be awkward.
My suggestion at this point: If this woman is of value to you personally, then acknowledge that the payment of money, in one form or another, is going to be inevitable. You then have to define the rest of the relationship. Based on what you've said, you should tell her that you value your friendship with her and would like to move to a negotiation of off the clock time. If she needs you, and she does not provide her services, then you shouldn't have to pay. Can you have just "friend" dates? Are you available by phone to peel her off the ceiling if she needs you? Conversely, does she provide you with emotional support and solace?
Crossing boundaries is treacherous stuff, but it can be done and it can be rewarding if the nature of the relationship is brought to the surface, discussed and negotiated.
Namely that she is running a business that provides a service and she is not providing it even though she is getting paid. If this was your lawyer or your doctor and when you went to see them the time that you are paying for is spent on their problems you would know that this is not right, wouldn't you?
It's easy to blur the lines with some of these ladies and there is nothing inherently wrong with being there for her so long as you both remember why you made the appointment in the first place. You need to have a talk with her. Hopefully, she will listen and understand that she needs to hold up her end.
You say you saw her weekly for a year. Call it 50 visits. For nine months, 35 visits, she performed as expected. So question. Assuming for discussion they were all one hour visits, were you out the door 61 minutes after you arrived, each and every time? Or were there occasions when you lay there chatting for a while, and left 75 minutes after you arrived? And if that happened, did you put down an extra 25% of the sixty minute rate, each and every time? If not, why not? Is it because you were friends, or were you making her your chump?
In my view, if you feel like a chump then you are a chump, but that doesn't mean she was playing you. Maybe she was happy to give you that extra time because she enjoys your company and thought you were friends. In which case, when she needed a friend ... Consider that analysis and see if you still feel like a chump.
Because it's how you feel that counts. In a situation like this if you don't feel like a chump, you're not. Guys who go to DIY ladies even though they could get a hj or bj for the same price are not chumps unless they think they are. Guys who get a hj or bj even though they could get fs for the same price are not chumps unless they think they are. A guy who, 6% of the time, gets less than the full menu, is not a chump unless he thinks he is.
But they are right about the communication thing.
In my view, if you feel like a chump then you are a chump, but that doesn't mean she was playing you. Maybe she was happy to give you that extra time because she enjoys your company and thought you were friends. In which case, when she needed a friend ... Consider that analysis and see if you still feel like a chump.
Because it's how you feel that counts. In a situation like this if you don't feel like a chump, you're not. Guys who go to DIY ladies even though they could get a hj or bj for the same price are not chumps unless they think they are. Guys who get a hj or bj even though they could get fs for the same price are not chumps unless they think they are. A guy who, 6% of the time, gets less than the full menu, is not a chump unless he thinks he is.
But they are right about the communication thing.
Anyway, two points.
1. You have revealed far too much information about the provider. If people are recognizing who she is based on what you have said, you have said way too much. If I were you, I would edit those personal details out of my original post and apologize (though the damage is already done.)
2. You need to have a conversation with her. Not with the board, but with her. Explain that you are paying for a service that you aren't receiving, and that you are unhappy. If you didn't initiate physical contact and ask her about it during the session, then I don't really think you were being "played" or anything like that. It is up to you as well to ensure that what you want to happen in your session happens. Maybe she thought that you were just being nice and helping her out (like a friend would) by not demanding sex when she is upset with personal issues. Friends help out friends financially sometimes, as well as emotionally. I don't consider it being played or being a chump, because these are things that friends do for each other sometimes. It's part of being there for someone. But if you don't consider her a friend then just make it clear to her that you are a client, paying for services you aren't receiving, and she must provide said services if you are to continue seeing her. It does sound to me like certain lines and boundaries got blurred somewhere and both of you got confused as to what your relationship is
even though many of us like to give people the benefit of the doubt, sometimes you have to look at a situation as it really is. dude, she's playing you. if she wasn't, she wouldn't have taken your donation when there was no play time. i'm sure you already knew this but sometimes its hard to accept reality. time to move on.
For the past few months, she has had a number of personal problems - fights with her incall roommate; married boyfriend going back to his wife; and a strained relationship with sick, dying mother. On more than one occasion, I was greeted at the door, with - "You're going to have to scrape me off the ceiling". That visit starting with a sensual massage but within a few (less than 10) minutes, we were lying on her table doing "therapy". I was happy to be there for her but there but nothing else happened. When I was leaving, didn't know what to do - this is her living - so I paid my donation. Felt a little strange but ..
Over the next few months, this did not happen just once, not twice but THREE times. We were friends.
Ethical is probably not the correct term, but was it right that I paid for services not rendered when I was trying to being a friend and confidant? Was I being played? It kind of feels like it.
I haven't read the comments.
Chase1503,
I cannot believe that you wrote that about her! Clearly, you have never been her friend... ever. She is the chump. If you are going to talk shit and spew private information about some provider, make sure:
1. ••• She's not a provider that is friends with anyone you want to see, because I now know what you are capable of... I know the story. Don't come see me again, because I do share my life with people, and I don't want it spewed on TER, because it is all part of the GFE experience to share of myself•••
2. Ask yourself if it goes both ways... I could spill all kinds of shit about you that you have shared. How would that make you feel? Were you paying her for all the extra time she went over for you? How about all the time she has spent answering your unsolicited emails and texts that were not related, at all, to scheduling?
I rarely go off on people like this, but if you are going to talk shit (and that's what all that is) about someone I love dearly, I will defend what I know.
If anyone has PMed chase1503 about who he is referring to and gotten a response, please know that she is a wonderful person and not the one displayed in this thread by chase1503!
Don't write all this shit and then TEXT her this morning asking if she's ok!!!
***fuming***
Now that is the absolute best response yet. I was on my phone and hate typing (all thumbs), but when I advised that the OP should only be addressing this situation to the provider, it's exactly what I meant. Wish I could've made it more clearer last night. Way too much info
The answer to the question that the OP asked changes with different parameters of different comments that I'm hearing thanks to people who know this situation!! I offer the GFE experience too. Sometimes off the clock, if I've spent time with my client! Because I'm gfe... I'm VERY GIVING of my time off the clock!!! As long as I'm compensated for what I feel is fair!!!
Chase1503,
I cannot believe that you wrote that about her! Clearly, you have never been her friend... ever. She is the chump. If you are going to talk shit and spew private information about some provider, make sure:
1. ••• She's not a provider that is friends with anyone you want to see, because I now know what you are capable of... I know the story. Don't come see me again, because I do share my life with people, and I don't want it spewed on TER, because it is all part of the GFE experience to share of myself•••
2. Ask yourself if it goes both ways... I could spill all kinds of shit about you that you have shared. How would that make you feel? Were you paying her for all the extra time she went over for you? How about all the time she has spent answering your unsolicited emails and texts that were not related, at all, to scheduling?
I rarely go off on people like this, but if you are going to talk shit (and that's what all that is) about someone I love dearly, I will defend what I know.
If anyone has PMed chase1503 about who he is referring to and gotten a response, please know that she is a wonderful person and not the one displayed in this thread by chase1503!
Maybe it's me but a lady having a few real life issues is not unusual and it certainly does not reflect negative on her. To see each other every week there must be some type of connection/friendship that transcends the normal P4P boundaries. If he was paying her by the hour for a service she did not provide she could have refused or returned the money. Keeping it insinuates to me that she is taking him for granted to me. I have spent many hours OTC consoling friend going through painful times the key is OTC.
I agree that information that IDs the provider was not a good idea. Had he asked the same question using his alias we would not have a review list of whom he'd seen thus making this a benign post. Alias use has a good purpose and a place when used in a civil manner.
Why do you assume the texts and emails were unsolicited? There was a customer retention reason for her to want to write him, he saw her every week for a year. A new client requires, advertising, screening and perpetration time that is consuming more time and money so it's much better to keep an existing client coming back. In short, the time writing him is simply a cost of during business
First off, I was surprised at the details you put in your post. You revealed TOO MUCH personal information.
Moving on to your question. Seems to me the "relationship" has evolved to where she no longer provides GFE and you are still paying for that.
Sounds almost like a girlfriend or wife that backs off on what she is willing to do in bed, but still expects all the benefits you are providing.
If she is even willing to continue being your "friend" after this post, I would try to have a conversation with her and redefine what each of you wants out of it.
I don't hobby to be a counselor, I do care about the ladies, but if the sex starts getting less enjoyable, it's time to stop that part of the relationship. If she wants to have sex after this and it's a friendship, you should not have to pay for it. If she wants to get paid she should provide you with the GFE that you had gotten in the past.
Good luc
He needs to stop texting her and pretending that he is not the one who wrote the post to begin with. She's not the one having trouble letting go!
If this is correct, he should move on. If provider wants you to go away. GO AWAY!!!!
AMEN TO THAT! Trinity! I know the provider in question and am familiar with the situation. It's depressing how quickly everyone on here just accepts this guy's BS accusations and bashes her. The simple fact is that this guy is a user and an emotional cripple and is simply out to hurt her because she refused his advances. Don't be fooled by his phoney tale of woe and how he was an innocent victim. Wise up people.
I tagged onto Trinity's comment because it saved me saying it my self. This was a chicken shit thing to do. You need to take some of the money you will save an buy some big boy pants. This is a young woman who gives her self completely. If you think you are entitled that and more for the pittance you paid you are not a chump or a friend you are a jerk.
If only one person who read your winey back stab knows who she is you have no excuse. You need to man up a lot and stop doing things to hurt a woman who offered you everything she has. If you chose to book her and then care for her and leave money behind to help her that is noble. If you did not want to pay her for her time then don't pay her. If you did not get enough out of the meetings then STOP GOING.
I can tell from your words and I do know the lady, that you were attracted to her and you wanted to continue the relationship with its intensity. The issues that you had no rite to air in public are very real. She was hurting for personal reasons and what she needed from a MAN was a strong shoulder not a selfish dick. If you decided to leave money behind that was your decision. To drag her out naked in public to humiliate her is unexplainable.
For all of the people who heard one side and responded; please consider that you know only one side. You could not be fair when you don't know the story. I am not saying everything she did was what she should have done but I will say this knowing the other side of the of the story; she did not intend to spend an hour crying on the shoulder of a man who she felt she could bare herself with because she intended to cheat him. She is a sensitive woman who is suffering through some of the most painful things that any of us go through in life. YOU KNEW THAT Knowing that, you come to her as a friend then drag her into the public. You lock her in the stocks to be humiliated because she did not wipe the tears from her eyes soon enough to suck your dick
Pathetic.
Facts are Facts!
Question, If the OP had went to her, crying, Ohh Boo Hoo, my life is in shambles, and I need to have Sex with you, but cannot afford it right now, so I will cry on your shoulder, and take up
your time and leave without paying.
Do you really believe that this Wonderful, kind, caring, sensitive provider, would have accepted that kind of treatment, and let things slide ?
( I got some genuine Rolex watches that I will sell to you at a very deep discount )
Go ahead and see if the Bull Shit slides off the wall when you sling it.
Leave the Emotional garbage out of the situation,
I don't know the provider, and could care less about her personal problems.
You see, I have personal problems from time to time too! My Brother died last year, and Him and I were very close, I wonder if someone will let me cry on their shoulder, and give me a wad of cash too!
I lost my Grandson some years ago, Will some provider let me express my grief, and then make it better by giving me the best fuck I ever had ?
No strings attached !
I had some cash flow problems 3 years ago, when I lost a job, Damm! I did not find any kind, caring, sensitive, generous, providers who were willing to put out some free time and activities
until I got back on my feet.
Got a clue for ya, you are preaching to the wrong crowd here on this board.
This isn't Caring and Sharing hands, nor is it hold me and let me cry, and then pay me for my time.
This is P4P! Even if the OP were in Love with her, he paid! she did not deliver nor hold up her end of the agreement.
He put out the Facts!
Now can you possibly see where I am coming from ?
Business is Business! You know that, and so too should the provider who is an emotional cripple.
She should go seek help from a mental health provider, and pay for that confidentiality, rather than entrust her personal life to a client. If her personal problems are preventing her from functioning properly.
If what you have stated is true, then flip the coin around, but the part about her having been victimized ? well umm, she became the victim of her own accord when she made the decision to open up her personal life to this scoundrel !
If in fact what you say is true.
The OP, right or wrong, posted this thread,
He stated facts, from his point of view.
She, the provider can come on her, and post rebuttal. She is a big girl right ?
So how is it that she needs the likes of you or anyone else to stand up for her character, while nothing is heard from her ?
He is a user, this is true, However, he used her, with her permission! and compensated her per the mutual agreement they had.
I find it difficult to believe that he agreed to allow her to cry on his shoulder, and only agreed
to kneel by the bedside and jack off while she cried her river. She is a User, and he Allowed her to use him, so that he could get in her panties. That was the Agreement! She broke the agreement!
I hope for his sake, that at least she had a tissue, to blow her nose on, instead of his shirt sleeve.
... so many that I don't know if I could find the words to express all of them, without regretting some of it later because it wouldn't be very constructive, or kind or charitable.
But one of the thoughts I'm having, which makes me feel a little better about this whole mess that all started because some guy didn't know when to keep private stuff private, is that you aren't active in the hobby. And that makes me glad, to think that someone like you won't be unleashing this kind of horseshit attitude directly on any local providers.
I pulled this out of the flip the coin around letter
I lost my Grandson some years ago, Will some provider let me express my grief, and then make it better by giving me the best fuck I ever had ?
No strings attached !
The answer to your question is YES
The lady you criticize here would do all of that and more. WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED As would so many of the best ladies. They will meet you at the door with no questions or accusations. She will hug you, kiss you and then allow you to poor out the sadness from your loss. If you need to cry she wont laugh, if you show weakness she wont tell anyone. She will give herself and her body to help you through what ever sadness you feel and ask nothing more than a fee for her time. Like a counselor she offers her time and her affection to you and that is how she pays her bills. she will take your crown of thorns with no strings attached.
She will do this with out judging you and would never ever even think of humiliating you in any public way. That is what was offered. How do you not see that?????
Yes! And there is SOOO much more to this story. You all know I don't rant on TER, so this means I am very passionate about this!
I HIGHLY fucking doubt the OP would like me to send you all the PROOF you need to know this story and that he is, in fact, LYING. Yes, I do have the proof.
Those NOT being the facts of the situation, what have you to say about that???
p, you've got the iron clad proof with no room left for any doubts.
THIS EXACTLY!
If only one person who read your winey back stab knows who she is you have no excuse. You need to man up a lot and stop doing things to hurt a woman who offered you everything she has. If you chose to book her and then care for her and leave money behind to help her that is noble. If you did not want to pay her for her time then don't pay her. If you did not get enough out of the meetings then STOP GOING.
I can tell from your words and I do know the lady, that you were attracted to her and you wanted to continue the relationship with its intensity. The issues that you had no rite to air in public are very real. She was hurting for personal reasons and what she needed from a MAN was a strong shoulder not a selfish dick. If you decided to leave money behind that was your decision. To drag her out naked in public to humiliate her is unexplainable.
For all of the people who heard one side and responded; please consider that you know only one side. You could not be fair when you don't know the story. I am not saying everything she did was what she should have done but I will say this knowing the other side of the of the story; she did not intend to spend an hour crying on the shoulder of a man who she felt she could bare herself with because she intended to cheat him. She is a sensitive woman who is suffering through some of the most painful things that any of us go through in life. YOU KNEW THAT Knowing that, you come to her as a friend then drag her into the public. You lock her in the stocks to be humiliated because she did not wipe the tears from her eyes soon enough to suck your dick
Pathetic.
She didn't have any problem with tears when she reached for the money.
I said before that I know the lady. I know and anyone who knows her knows she does not EVER "reach for the money" when you walked in for the 50th plus time you left a gift: a trade for her time and her affection on the little table near the lamp. then according to your facts "she started a sensual massage" and at some point broke down under the stress of circumstances in her life.
This is then she made a critical mistake; she thought she was in the presences of a man who cared about her, not a man who came there to rent her pussy. Did she make that mistake, yes she did. When you got off the table to leave you had every rite to pick up the gift and no one would blame you if you did. Beyond that no one would blame you in any way if you explained TO HER that you are willing to be there for her as the friend you present yourself to be, but you could not pay her for that time. I know her, she would not have any objection.
Her second mistake: she believed that you left the money for her because YOU decided to, still wearing your big boy pants, that you intended to take it out of your pocket and leave it there. and when you left you made a second conscious decision to leave the money on the table where you had every rite to pick it up.
You had no obligation to help her but damn her bitch ass for believing that you would actually commit an unselfish act. Silly girl thought it was a gift from a man who cared about her after a year long sexual relationship.
I personally think she should have said to you; please take the money, I was not able to do my part today. she did not say that and she should have. On a person to person level you are both part at fault and that is not at all why I was so critical of you. the part about feeling that she should have handled it differently; you are rite. It is what you did after that.
You dragged her out into the public and called her a thief. You took a deeply personal issue between you and woman who allowed you to penetrate her over and over for a year and held her up naked (she did not have here side presented) for everyone to criticize in a public forum. accused by YOUR FACTS as a thief.
It is like that NAZI mentality (not calling you a NAZI) this is a psychosis where a person can devalue another human to a point where the undeserving are denied human dignity. She is not a machine or a piece of meat. Dogs deserve better treatment than many of the people here offer a woman who will strip naked and let you have her for your pleasure.
So many of the people here rent pussy or the respondent that said it is P4P. "Hey bitch I paid for the pussy so bend over and shut up" If these girls have business responsibility to give you everything they have every time they show up then I think you have a responsibility to tell them up front as one guy said "I could care less about her personal problems this is P4P" When you call to set up the meeting tell the lady "please understand that when I come there I am not interested in you or your issues, you are a cunt and that is what I am paying for" If the girl is ok with that then you have found your ATF.
YOUR SECOND LIE: you did not do this because you wanted to offer an oblique narrative for discussion, you did this following the meeting where she told you she did not want to see you anymore. She does not want your money or your shirt sleeve to wipe her nose. You did not treat her well enough and she decided to turn down the income. When you list your facts you could add that one. tell the truth when you claim to be listing facts.
Based on the number of messages of people wanting to know who she she us, I don't think there was TMI. I will not reveal who she is.
I welcome opinions and messages but don't ask who she is.
you reveal enough information to create interest in who she is. Some people will know, others will not, but will look at your reviews and speculate, in which case some might identify the wrong provider, which is another nasty can of worms.
Oh.....so it's just "opinions" you want? It's not revenge? Or spite? Maybe a little public humiliation a embarrassment? Character assassination? If it's just "opinions" you wanted there was no need to include any personal information about the provider, now was there? But that wouldn't have suited your true purpose, would it?
You, sir, are a liar. You're a wannabe lover who couldn't handle rejection so you chose to lash out publicly. Your lies and half-truths are despicable, as is your behavior.
Whatever happens between two people here needs to stay between those two people. A public board is absolutely the wrong place for something like this. No good can ever come out of airing one sided dirty laundry. You need to work this out with her.
I agree that this is a communication situation between two private individuals. I must admit that I would have a hard time paying the full rate more than once for this kind of situation unless the attachment was far more than just "a business relationship".
ave clear boundaries yourself and if you cross your own boundaries then who is to blame but yourself?
If someone is crying on your sleeve and you don't like it then move the sleeve away and discontinue being a sleeve.
Simple.
But to post is on a thread as a topic to air out your dirty laundry... Who is the captain of your ship? Her? How about taking ownership of your own ship and not dump additional sh*t on hers while your at it
hanks for some of your personal PM's for worrying this is me. It is not.
I am also the captain of my own ship and meander into my own choppy waters of sorts but in my ship designated playtime is always playtime. However; if a man wants to talk the whole time or play rescue Élan, etc., instead of play I do ask he not blame me. We can role play emotional rescuer if that is what the play for the day is for you. On the other hand if I get distracted by woes of life and meander off and away from your glorious fountain of pleasure or mine then by all means steer me to the sexy task at hand and just go ahead and put my hand there or you yours should I be in an unexpected state of forgetful delirium. All's I ask is you captain your ship and I'll captain mine and cheers to that
Of the sessions? In doing so he nonverbally stated that she fulfilled the "agreement". If he had an issue with the services then its his responsibility to speak up and pay less or nothing.
If he was truly a friend and confidant than he would not have posted all the information about her that he did to start with and at the very least after reading the backlash here it would show some character if he realized he over stepped his boundaries and deleted this entire thread!
That's pretty much what I think after reading everything others said .
It can happen to anyone but several times this has gone on? That's on you guy, not so much her .
Even if he tried asking TER to delete it!!... Which my guess is that when he realized how bad the thread made him look.... he probably tried deleting it!!! I doubt TER would let him delete it though!!!... I tried to have them delete a thread one time on a different subject & they asked "why would we want to do that? it's created a lot of discussion because of your thread & people put time into writing their responses!! Sorry, but we'll never delete a thread when it makes for truly good discussion!!" So, in this case... even if he asked too... they probably wouldn't allow him too!!!
oh the things we'd do differently if we could roll the hands of time backward!!
If he was truly a friend and confidant than he would not have posted all the information about her that he did to start with and at the very least after reading the backlash here it would show some character if he realized he over stepped his boundaries and deleted this entire thread!
.... however if this OP is out for revenge and getting his revenge on her then why would he himself remove it?
I agree that if her did care about her he could not have posted this crap on here. However saying she fulfilled her side of the agreement because he dropped the envelope a problem. We guys are in a no win situation in this case, don't pay and she cries he stiffed her (not the good way) leave it and it's assumed he's happy with his wet shoulder. The proper thing would have been for them to have worked it out privately, guessing there's not much chance of that now.
Im pretty sure most in this hobby have misread intentions and have misjudged someone, the OP made a few stupid mistakes and apparently so did the provider in question. I think there's more than enough blame for both and I recommend the first stone be cast by the one among us that is perfect.
Can we all just get back to the titty shots (my personal favorite), shameless shilling and 411s that make this board so thrilling?
I have no idea who either of these parties are and don't care. It is impossible for me to KNOW what has happened between them, because I was not there. There are at least two sides to this story...
That said, I've been around this hobby to varying degrees since 1989. In those years, I've come to know several local providers on more than a casual basis. I certainly was not pursuing anything more than a business relationship, but I ended up learning more about their personal and professional lives than I expected to learn. I wouldn't say we were "friends", but our interactions were perhaps comfortable or "friendly". I did a few favors for some of them, but none that involved ca$h.
Several of these providers had or have "very regular" customers where things developed along the lines of the one-sided story presented here. IMHO, IN EVERY SINGLE CASE, I felt the guy was pretty much being taken for a ride. The men were likely delusional about what was really happening, or hearing only what they wanted to hear, or whatever. As P.T. Barnum once said, they were all fools who were soon parted with their money, and a lot more money than they would have parted with if they had kept things simple. Based on things providers said to me, they did not seem to respect these men at all.
One of them actually tried to play me the same way she knew that I knew she had played several others. That didn't go very far!
IF IT SEEMS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT PROBABLY IS
Thank You for your contribution!
As you stated, I have had similar experiences.
I watched them sucker a guy along, and then bang!
the crap hit the fan, and the woman then acts as if she is so offended by the response of the individuals who got suckered.
And yes, I had the experience, of one provider, who shared secrets, and information about those guys that she was working over, with me, her friend. I also watched her laugh with glee when the guy finally realized he has been had. Sure enough, she eventually attempted to hustle me as well. She lacked respect for anyone. male nor female, far as she was concerned, everyone was fair game.
That shit did not go over well with me, and I placed her ass with the trash out at the curb where she belonged.
I agree with most of your post, my opinion is that you presented a fair and objective post.
If the OP says ONE MORE THING on this board EVER about any provider, I'm blowing.
I don't even know how he can get away with using TWO completely different TER accounts!!! He has two user names, complete with reviews.
He wrote a review from one username about this provider then immediately emailed her asking if she's ok and claiming it wasn't him and now he's still upset that she thinks it was him. Well, I know it was. I have PROOF. THEN, after he posted this revenge for everyone to blurt out unknowingly about, he texted her yesterday morning to ask if she's ok and that he knows she isn't.
Oh yes, I could go on... OP, I suggest you move along and do not EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER contact her again EVER!!!
blowing away or what does blowing mean?
She promised "ONE FINAL THING" let it go. I just can't take any more screaming, at least without sex involved.
Time for OP to get into therapy. It is a privilege and honor to have someone confide in you. You took that confidence and posted it on a public discussion board. In my world that is unethical. I have no respect for you and only hope you get some professional help before you hurt others
Trinity, you are awesome!! What a great friend. Sadly, I kinda find it hot too.
I don't even know how he can get away with using TWO completely different TER accounts!!! He has two user names, complete with reviews.
He wrote a review from one username about this provider then immediately emailed her asking if she's ok and claiming it wasn't him and now he's still upset that she thinks it was him. Well, I know it was. I have PROOF. THEN, after he posted this revenge for everyone to blurt out unknowingly about, he texted her yesterday morning to ask if she's ok and that he knows she isn't.
Oh yes, I could go on... OP, I suggest you move along and do not EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER contact her again EVER!!!
For a "community" that is loosely organized around the proposition that two consenting adults can do whatever the hell they want to do whilst in one another's company, this seems like an incredibly over analyzed question.
Dude (or dudette, as the case might be), if you want to spend your time and money "connecting" with this "provider" in the way you describe --- then more power to you. If the "provider" wants to "provide" this sort of "service" ... then more power to her. If either of you aren't happy with the arrangement then you can agree to change it or move on. You don't sound like you're happy with the arrangement, but I think you can decide that for yourself.
(I vote for moving on ... with this thread, at any rate.)
((Completely unrelated link included for completeness.))
... as in (additions in CAPS):
"For a 'community' that is loosely organized around the proposition that two consenting adults can do whatever the hell they want to do whilst in THE PRIVACY one another's company... ".
Do you not get that this is NOT about what two people consent to do together, but about keeping things that should be just between them PRIVATE, and not lay it out in a public forum like this one??
If you don't understand that simple principle, I suggest you go back through this thread to read some posts that explain it pretty damn well.
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