Re: need some advice from the ladies!

That is not just a rookie mistake.  Some of the ladies her are very, very good a GFE.  So good that the lines can easily be crossed.  I am struggled with this very thing, and so have many others on here.  You have to keep reminding your self that it really is a fantasy, not a reality.  For me, I look in the mirror and know just how impossible the fantasy would be in real life.

I would suggest that at the very least, you cute down on seeing her, and see some of the other ladies.

I know you were looking for advice from the ladies...but let me give you some as well...Since you are "paying for her time" it will be always a fantasy even though she may make it feel like reality.  The more reality she makes it the better she is at session.

Once the line is crossed from when you are no longer paying her for her time...the line has been crossed.....

Thanks for all the great advice...and not ripping into me for being a dumbass.  yes, she contacts me but there is still the $ issue.  she may call everyone...i dont know

Guys that have been at it for years still fall into it. It's because these ladies are that good. Personally, I get around it by falling in love with every single one of them...intentionally!!! You can make your fantasy world a wonderful place to visit, and you can visit as often as you like, but remember, it's still a fantasy world.

Are there going to be special ladies? Of course there are. Keeping them special is the trick, and crossing the boudaries is not the way to do it. I have my very special few, who I love just a little more than I love the rest.

It's confusing, but try to keep the two separate.

Yes, she is very highly reviewed but im sure you can understand why i can't give a name (thanx for the email though).

Hi~
Sorry you're struggling honey, it's not easy.

I think/hope my boyfriends understand that they are my lover/boyfriend when they are with me, and when they leave; it is as my friend, until we meet again.

We discuss it quite often, and I blog about it also.

Try to look at it from that aspect.  Good luck!

Hugs,
Delilah

It would be a good idea I think to see some other ladies.  As to whether you should stop seeing her, that depends on your ability to keep your head about you.  So long as you are still paying, it is a fantasy and you need to always keep that in your head.

...my favorite is a gal who've I only seen a few times but I keep thinking about her and our times together. Privately, when I need someone to fantasize about, it's her, and it works every time. When I can devour every inch of her body and she responds passionately, it's impossible not to be at least a little bit changed emotionally by being with her. However, I have no problem keeping separate the fact this is, in the end, a client/provider relationship.

99 percent or more of the time, with a good provider, it's natural to have good feelings; this is often mutual.  The trick is to remember that what makes this hobby work is the existence of very clear boundaries and expectations.  She knows what you're offering, you know what you're getting.  That's the advantage over civvie relationships, where everything is muddled and ambiguous (which is one of the reasons people make commitments).  

To keep things in perspective, please go visit a couple of other well-reviewed providers that you haven't seen before.  And read your ATF's reviews to remind yourself of what this is about.

In that less-than-one-percent of the time that you and a provider might "cross the line," be forewarned:  being a provider's lover is MUCH harder than a civvie relationship.  These boards -- particularly the Erotic Highway -- are filled with stories of hobbyists and providers who fell for each other and then had difficulties that arose from the nature of the relationship.  

You'll get a very quick tutorial on Fantasy vs. Reality.

Now gentleman this is going to sound bizarre so just bear with me....

My friend, having a profession in which I deal with people's feelings, what your telling us is exactly as the wise ones on this board have said; it happens. Keep in perspective that this is a supply and demand relationship and that although there are some incredible providers out there (I have yet to meet one that blows my mind) it simply means that they are good at what they do as is any other expert professional.

However, part of the illusion is that during the time that you are with them, they make you feel as though you are the most virile and amazing lover on the face of the earth. That is the fantasy.

May I offer some very, hopefully unobtrusive, advice which would be to ask you to examine your personal life and maybe even some of your, as one of the veteran board members so aptly put it, civvie relationships. There most likely is some strong emotional need that you are not getting met. Now, I know, I know, many  of us, including me, on this board, seek out providers because we are missing something. What I’m talking about is that it might be a misplaced emotionally absent dynamic, in your life, that needs to be met strongly due to disharmony within your “normal life”.

This is often why people “fall” into these types of predicaments. Once you have examined your life, maybe even taking some time off from the hobby, you might not “fall” for a very good provider, but yet still enjoy the fantasy type relationships without the long term emotional discord that you are currently experiencing. I’m off my proverbial couch and I truly hope that you find balance in the sea of disharmony.

The first time she no shows and says " I forgot... I double booked "

As for myself, I have standing marriage proposals out to a number of favorites, including Wendy and Hilary from the TC.  Not sure how wifey would handle it if one of them goes insane and accepts one day, but I do think a double-wide in the Utah desert would be wonderful with company like that

Re: need some advice from the ladies!

Sometimes a dose of full blown reality is in order, just ask her out on a real date (no money exchanged) her answer will likely cure your problem of separating the fantasy and reality issue.

Re: need some advice from the ladies!

Thanks for all of the great advice - after only one night thinking i know exactly what to do.  i guess i'm out for now.  meeting girls out at the w, lounge, spin i know exactly what to say/do despite the ambiguity; but where there are clear expectations i guess i'm clueless - weird, right?  In any case thanks again.   i'll continue to follow and may be back soon...

just another reply here to say I too have fallen for a provider and lost sooo much over it......you are not alone....it truly is a fantasy world -sadly always connected to money