During a recent chat with a long-term regular from the neighborhood, he posed a few questions that really got us thinking. We dove into an intriguing discussion about the TC market and how different aspects like body type, race, rates, demeanor, perceived "MN Nice-ness" or assertiveness, etc. can affect the market's reaction to a provider. In the middle of our conversation, he dropped this gem: "Familiarity breeds contempt." Of course, I was intrigued by that statement so I asked him to elaborate. And he dropped some food for thought.
He shared that, for years, he had mostly visited touring providers, willing to pay a premium because of the temporary nature of their visit. On the other hand, he didn't have the same sense of urgency with local providers as they are more accessible because they are consistently in the area and local rates often skew a smidge lower than those of traveling providers. It wasn't until COVID that he started "making the rounds" locally.
Now, I'm curious: what do you think about this saying? Do you believe it rings true?
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n.b. this is meant to be a genuine discussion and not an ad... but hey, here we are I guess.
-- Modified on 11/2/2023 10:23:58 PM
I prefer seeing local providers. And once I find an exceptional provider who fits my needs and budget, I see her as often as I can - which isn’t nearly often enough.
I’ve seen a few traveling providers who intrigue me, but the problem there is if I have a great time, it might be a long time before I can see them again.
As for there being no urgency to see local providers… my advice is, if there’s a local provider you want to see, don’t wait. You never know when they might move or get out of the business. I regret that there’s some women I really wanted to meet or see again, and I couldn’t because they left the area or went on to a new chapter in their lives.
Contempt is the wrong word. But there is something to the fact that our priorities are going to default to potential lost opportunities rather than "sure things." Trouble is that there is always another touring babe and limited dollars so the sure thing keeps getting put on the back burner.
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I confess I have a similar issue with sugar babes. There's always a fresh face popping up. Even though I've established connections with several. They kind of end up getting rotated out even the they were perfectly fine.
"i asked him to elabarorate". He didnt really say familiarity breeds contempt He said there was no sense of urgency. Urgency is contempt? Dont see your point.
He literally did say “familiarity breeds contempt” and I think you’re letting the point go over your head.
Paige, keep up these cogent and timely posts. Maybe your analyst can pitch in here so we know what the fuck youre saying.
Guessing the person didn't want to get attached to a local provider. Might develop feelings for her over time due to proximity and ease of making appointments.
Her job requires her to see other Johns, so he builds resentment. To avoid hurt feelings, he saw touring providers who he can't get emotionally attached to.
Just guessing at this point....
This seems like one of a few more likely causes.
What is your take on it? Does familiarity breed contempt for you with your regulars?
If I am interpreting the saying correctly, I feel that I have experienced that from providers I have seen on a regular basis.
I'm sure I'll be called a "pick me" but I go above and beyond to take care of my regular clients. Whether it's doing outcalls to their private residences, accommodating last minute dates, fulfilling outfit requests, grandfathering rates, or simply keeping open lines of communication between dates, I always make sure they have a great experience. After all, why would I ever treat someone poorly when they're consistently choosing to spend their valuable time and hard-earned money on me?
From what I've learned, contempt only happens when either one or both parties in this type of arrangement start feeling like the rules no longer apply to them. That's how things go downhill and fast. Let me give you an example: let's say a provider allows a long-term regular to book without a deposit. But over time, this regular gets too comfortable and starts thinking it's okay to cancel last minute without any consequences. Well, that kind of behavior can really strain the relationship and leave a sour taste. On the flip side, if a provider keeps asking for money in advance or constantly pressures the client for more, it's bound to turn them off.
In the end, it's all about finding that balance and mutual respect, so both parties can enjoy a satisfying and long-lasting connection.
So this thread is just an advertisement for Paige Savage. T
I provided an answer to a question directed at me. It's worth noting that any post made by a provider here could be seen as a form of advertisement. We aim to offer insights into our thinking process, which can either deter or attract clients.
It seems like you haven't made any valuable contributions to this board since 2019. So, I'm curious as to why you're fixated on constantly tearing others, including me, down. Having said that, I'm unsure about the events in your personal life that have made you feel so powerless, leading you to seek dominance in a board that holds little significance outside of the demimonde. I pity your resentment towards people, particularly women, and your apparent insecurities among other unappealing qualities.
I don't think you sound like a pick me. It's far more likely that you want everyone to have a good time.
If I'm available, last minute dates don't turn me off. But I don't grandfather in rates(my clients are turned on by the opportunity to rise to the occasion and provide) or allow constant ongoing communication between dates. In my personal life, I don't lower my standards to give anyone a chance or endlessly text people. In person activities are so much more fulfilling.
I agree with your point that contempt happens when a person on either stops honoring their own boundaries and desires.
"Familiarity breed contempt".....
I dont like the word contempt. Because that means you "look down" on someone.
Which I dont think is correct. But I would say take for granted or possibly dont know what you really got type thing.
What I am getting at is think of it like how family sometimes treats each other. You really dont know what you got or how much they help or are there for you. It is because you are familiar with them and the actions they always take. IE: taken for granted.
Like others have mentioned is that is the "allure" of traveling ladies. It is the excitement of the "new" or "unknown" that strikes it up for some. While others would rather keep the same and the comfort of the same.
Also your client kind of hit the nail on the head with saying..... the locals are always around.... so you can go see them on a "whim".... where you might miss a one time traveler who is only in the area... ONCE.
It is like when someone mentions they are "retiring".... you might get people to "jump at the last chance" type thing as well.
"Familiarity breeds contempt" implies he looks down on local providers for some reason but that doesn't match the explanation he gave you for using that term. To me, it sounds like his preference for travelers was simply due to each one's relative scarcity compared to providers who live and work locally. That honestly just seems like a matter of taste to me. My historical preference has been to see local providers as I usually prefer to repeat with providers I really enjoy seeing.
Hey, thanks for all the replies! It's pretty clear that a lot of people have a problem with the word "contempt". I have to admit, even I got caught up on that word, which is why I asked him to explain. And when he did, I understood why he used that phrase, even though he didn't mean "contempt" in the Oxford Dictionary sense.
It was more like he used a sledgehammer instead of a scalpel with his words, you know? So, here's my thought: maybe what he really meant was something along the lines of "familiarity breeds contingency." As in, "local providers will more likely than not still be here in a few months so where's the rush?"
It's an old expression. Google says:
"familiarity breeds contempt"
phrase of familiarity
PROVERB
extensive knowledge of or close association with someone or something leads to a loss of respect for them or it.
"... it's to say that if you know a person or situation very well, you can easily lose respect for that person or become careless in that situation."
The expression familiarity breeds contempt was first used in English in the 1300s by Geoffrey Chaucer, in his work, Tale of Melibee.
… but that some of us don’t think it applies as described by the client in the OP. It seems it’s more like, “easy access breeds lack of urgency.”
That’s not nearly as catchy as “familiarity breeds contempt”, though. 🙃
It's tough to become very familiar when you're only seeing someone a few hours a week, at the most. I have relationships within this business that are many years long, and friendships outside that are also many years long. My time is spent with people I respect and enjoy.
If familiarity always breeds contempt, then we wouldn't see anyone living or working together regularly. Someone who is deserving of contempt often finds it.
From a risk management perspective, it seems safer to establish one or a few relationships instead of constantly screening.
I've found that proverbs are usually not a good basis for making any sort of decision.
Every person is different, for some people maybe this proverb holds true. For many others it probably doesn't. As someone whos been both a provider and client. I would guess that most people would prefer familiarity and see it as a positive thing that does not breed contempt.
Most providers myself included seem to have a preference for longstanding client relationships and developing a level of trust. The same goes for clients, having a sense of mutual expectation about how the session will go is very conducive to having a good experience.
That is often the death of a marriage though. I don't know that it would apply here. There is a human desire for novelty, perhaps more so here than other places. And though I can't quite imagine saying, "..another bj where she has sucked out my very soul twice again.... boring " I suppose it's possible it might be fun getting there.
I wouldn't worry of I were you, so long as you are talented, willing and like what you do and you can read people you should never get there
I'd agree that contempt is often the death of marriage. According to the Gottman institute, "contempt is the most poisonous of all relationship killers."
Antidotes:
Short-term: Describe your feelings and needs
Long-term: Build a culture of fondness and admiration