I tried to book a session with a traveling lady for a few weeks out.  As I was submitting her thorough screening info, I saw she requires a deposit. The only way I can make a deposit is electronic. I can keep my communications and cash payments private, but electronic payments are traceable, so I never use them.  It looks like I'll have to find someone else.  I've been away from lobbying for quite a while. Am I being too old fashioned - too careful? I'm interested on feedback on electronic payments.  Do a lot of guys use them? Are there others like me that won't, for privacy reasons?

I have been doing this for a long time and I have been very successful and not once have I made a “deposit”.

Once they have your money, they tend to lose enthusiasm for meeting.  Then it is up to you to hopefully pester them into a refund.  I can't recommend it.

Only you know what you're willing to do and what you're comfortable with. If anyone is uncomfortable sending a deposit then I recommend what you did. You did not argue about it and you moved along.  

I'm baffled. They lose enthusiasm? Could you elaborate? Like you provide the deposit and then they cancel or keep jerking you around on committing to a date?

You are running a risk that she will keep the deposit if the appointment doesn't happen.  A few months ago, I ran into a discussion about a threat on Twitter where a provider was asking about whether or not she should keep a deposit.  A large number of the other providers who responded basically said that once the money is in their hands, it's their to keep regardless of whether or not an appointment actually happens.

AKA take the deposit and turn into a ghost.  

I doubt that she would take the money and run. She is a well-respected, highly reviewed lady.  But the whole process of jumping through hoops, has made me, as someone above wrote, "lose enthusiasm".  I guess the whole hobby scene has changed a lot since I have been gone.  Deposits and screening - drivers license, work ID, social security number, blood sample, finger prints, DNA, high schools report card (maybe a little exaggeration here). At least no one has asked for a stool sample - yet.

I'm curious if there is more to this story that is being left out. Like did the client cancel or the provider? Did the provider work with the client to reschedule the date?  

but just had to ask for clarification. I'm not sure who that person has been trying to see but that'a a bummer. And honestly, if we were to get down to brass tacks, this is a business. Why would someone leave money on the table? Weird.

I've had a lot of haircuts in my life, but I've never paid a deposit for the appointment before I show up.

I'm curious if there is more to this story that is being left out. ... NOPE
Like did the client cancel or the provider? ...  NOPE
Did the provider work with the client to reschedule the date?  ... NOPE - This was for an appointment weeks into the future.

I’ve given deposits in the past for some extremely high demand providers, although that’s not my normal preference. I’ve never been burned before, but not saying it will never happen. If you’re concerned about leaving a digital footprint, I would suggest asking her about using gift cards that you can pay for in cash or cryptocurrency, like Bitcoin or the flavor of the month, Dogecoin.

It's all probabilities.   Once you pay in advance the provider (of basically any service) has less incentive to accommodate you.   This could be anything from disappearing, to postponing, to poor service, etc.
.
If anyone doesn't believe paying in advance puts the customer at a disadvantage, they really haven't experienced the world.

fair since that is your experience and we are all only experts in our own experiences. However, having lived abroad and in various regions in the US, I think this is a pretty jaded outlook.

No no no, never pay or transfer money unless there standing in front of you. If you do the money is gone, and youve been scammed.

Kudos to you! Everyone runs their business differently. I’m glad you found someone that works for you! 😇

Them That Has the Gold Makes the Rules
Holds for business or pleasure

Hi Randy! I understood your situation. My comment about “more to the story” was in response to Vorlon and the Twitter thread he talked about. Frankly, I think you should reach out to this traveling provider and see if they have other methods that work for you!  

Where you can run into problems is if she doesn't make it to town and wants to do something like apply the deposit to a visit sometime in the future as opposed to sending it back to you.  Who knows if or when that might happen?  Sure, a reputable provider probably won't do anything like that but it's worth keeping in mind.

The situation between the provider who started the Twitter thread and the client she brought up was indeed much more complicated.  However, the parts of the thread that I found particularly disturbing were the posts made by quite a few other providers who said the original provider should keep the deposit regardless of the circumstances.  These ladies had the view that the deposit was basically a non-refundable fee for being able to schedule an appointment with her.

Hi Paige

While I have never given a deposit to a provider ,and I don't think I ever would, I did see a traveling provider who comes to Minnesota often who ask for a deposit for locking in an appointment time. Now this particular provider has really high reviews so I don't think she would keep money but she did make it clear that you end up canceling your appointment the day off that your deposit is forfeited. This is like a depositing a lot of other businesses so  I see no problem with that. The problem I have are with some of the low class Pros asking for cash app, or venmo deposit before seeing you. Those are the ones that if you pay ahead of time you are fool.

You ever pay deposit for a hooker Paige Savage?  Highly unlikely. Until you do, why dont you take this somewhere else.

Dude, we barely get the ladies replying in this forum. Don't be rude man.

Rocket, I agree that Pagie can certainly stick up for herself. Her wit alone has me contemplating seeing her. My grip is that before TER shut down there were many women on this forum adding to the discussion, now hardly any are seen, with the exception of the lovely Pagie. I didn't mind him giving his opinion, but his tone was rude in my opinion. I would just hate to see the one lady who constantly contributes to this board to be irritated by some of the guys

The phrase "we are all only experts in our own experience" is a valid one. The reason being is that only you are the only one in the world who has experienced life as "rocketman_mn". Sure, there are other people who have had similar experiences and we can use research and data to inform our decisions, but your experience is unique to you and how you react to it, learn from it, how it makes you feel, etc.  

there are a plethora of providers who actually do go on to hire other providers. Sometimes we have things we want to explore about ourselves and our sexuality and do it in a safe space. That said, I have hired a provider before, gone through their screening process, and provided a deposit. It's not that bad at all. You should try it.

I have a sneaking suspicion that deposits will become the “norm” in this hobby and once it starts being prevalent, it won’t ever go away.

That depends on.........mongers, kerb crawlers, mopes, johns, whatever you wish to label us as a group.

Those here may think it is the norm to not supply real ID or deposits but for every monger here there is some significant multiple of those willing to do so - many of them new thinking it is completely mandatory- or trusting until they get burned on a deposit .  
The other reason for deposits for newbies is so many flake within five minutes of arranged time.

It is a two-way street in my estimation.

Im sorry i dont believe that anyone charges a deposit for a haircut. For me to not call you a bull shit artist you need to inform me of your hais salon or barber shop, ceuse that is pure nonsense. If cash dont work i dont play, ill call another. The excuse i get from these gals is that, they've been robbed to many times.Well i would say that may have happened, but i think thats more with the people they deal with and not paying attention to there surrounding. Dont be a chump alot of puss out there, always be careful of your money and surroundings, and dont let your little head do your thinking.

It's interesting that there are a handful of people that won't believe us (or in this instance me) when we tell you that there are services require a deposit and/or a credit card on file for cancellations. I hate to make assumptions, but I'm going to assume based on your username, you're a red-blooded male. My salon requires a deposit for "master" and "senior" stylists. The place where I get my blowout requires a credit card on file so if a last minute cancellation happens (two hours prior to the appt), they can charge the card for the full amount.  

I doubt this will remain a fringe issue so long as the "sex work is work" movement has steam behind it. Should this realm become decriminalized (preferred) or legalized (meh), the relationship between LE and providers becomes... less tense. There's less worry regarding reporting a client to LE for bad behavior such as robbery, assault, etc. Theoretically, there will be more providers asking for real world information and deposits to protect themselves and their business. While I empathize that for you it's not "normal, regular, or understandable" there is a significant amount of the client demographic who do find it "normal, regular, and understandable".  

Deposits in any form help create a fraud narrative.

I would never pay a deposit, 5hat is not how this game works, we have the choice not to pay, is they want a deposit and no one is willing to give it, they will go back to the way game is supposed to be set up. We all have had girls cancel and no show on us, and the girls have had the same. So never ever pay a deposit.

Ok girls how about this, we both make a deposit. If you fail to show up or do not perform service up to expectations , or pics arent accurate you forfeit your deposit. Thats fair and no one gets ripped off. Also deposit for a haircut is pure bullshit, so stop your bull shit.

But in the event the hooker breaks the agreed appointment , whats the experience of those that have had it happen to them. Do they hang on to your Benjamin’s and tell you I’ll apply it to when we meet .  

One difference between the regular world of paying and advance and the sex worker world is that there is legal recourse to get money back in the regular world, whereas since sex work is illegal, you can't bring a case to small claims court.

As is often the case, you bring up the reality in many of these discussions. I get tired of hearing that sex work is just like any other business. It is not the same, in my opinion.

WTF are you even asking the Jennie?
Asking if she asks and receives references and then bring up scamming.
She accused nobody of scamming just basically saying that  in certain cases requires a deposit .
If it were you or me would have a choice - send or not - see or not.

All the deposits you are claiming to be paid with legitimate business are paid with credit cards not cash apps etc. And you have recourse if services are not provided, you will be able to work through your credit card fraud service. Cash apps, cash etc you have none your money is gone. How many internet scams are out there many many, how many girls in this business are dishonest hustlers, many many many. Do not get fooled. Some of these websites even warn you against this scam. Use your fucking head boys. These gals only fuck and suck you for money no matter how charming they appear, dont fool yourself thinking they are some sweet little innocent thing, they are hookers and thats what they are.

Here's the reality:

To be clear, I realize the term fraud is general and my statement is subjective. For my purposes I'm referring to a narrative involving exchange of non fiat currencies.

If deposits were such a normal, accepted part of the P4P experience, why do you insist on popping up in this thread, over and over, just to tell us all how normal it is to pay a prostitute in advance?

One of the red flags is that they ask for deposits.  

Interesting comment. Non-fiat currencies? Since no government issued currency is currently asset-backed, it is all fiat currency.  Cryptos are all currency-denominated and not backed by hard assets, so they are also considered fiat.  Do you consider gift cards to be fiat?  One could maybe make the case that they are backed by the hard assets one could purchase from the card issuer.  But, since they are fiat denominated, their purchasing power is tied to the underlying fiat. In my mind, all "legal tender" currency is fiat and the only non-fiat money is asset-backed, or physical precious metal.  The strength of fiat money is that it is fungible, whereas many hard assets are not. Of course, the weakness of fiat currency is that when the people lose faith in the issuer, the value plummets.  The Fed has ensured this is the dollar's future. And making a deposit in a hard currency might prove very difficult from a logistical standpoint.

My money is valuable to me and I don't care to lose a few hundred.

Zero fucks to do with it , just as well as deposits legitimizing the Ho industry.

I've never paid a deposit and probably won't in the future.  Losing a couple $$ won't crash my lifestyle or cause me to go to the poor house however, as many of the ladies claim..."their time is money", I will also claim my money is just as worthy as theirs but MY time is much more important to me than theirs.  I'm geographically challenged in the hobby world and when I make an appointment, many things have to line up starting with my own schedule and itinerary.  Over the decades, I have had a few appointments that NEVER happened because the provider either had a flight delay, scheduling mistake, accommodation issue, personal issues, aunt flo, turf toe, dog at the condoms wtf ever else could be made up...or simply ghosted.  Not a term back in the day but real still.   Does a deposit prevent any of these issues?  No, only the character of the provider.  
That said, I did miss an appt with a lady a few years ago who had traveled to mpls because of my own issues caused by my own itinerary blowing up.  I told her 4 hours in advance and I also compensated her for it without discount after the fact.  

While I do enjoy TER, we can admit 2020/2021 TER can be a bit of an echo chamber. An “echo chamber” refers to situations in which beliefs are reinforced by communication and repetition inside a closed system AND insulated from rebuttal. The key phrase here being “insulated from rebuttal”. I fail to see where I have ever been insulated from rebuttal in this thread. Allow me to use a scalpel instead of a sledgehammer this time: deposits are normal; however deposits in this area are not as normal as in other parts of the country.  

I want to meet the under 30 year old who will pay a 100% deposit (around $500-600) even before meeting the girl in person. That guy is every woman's dream.

That's what the deposit is for.  If he doesn't show up or cancels last minute she is at least compensated for the time she spent preparing. If he gave adequate time she will either refund the money or it will go towards a rescheduled appointment..  
This is a DEPOSIT,  NOT FULL PAYMENT.