Ask One

I’m not sure how I would respond to your “au natural” approach.  You did ask a good question that deserves feedback, and it will probably be educational for protocol and etiquette reasons as well.  How am I gonna provide if I don’t know what you’d like outside the realm of the norm?  Therefore your question is a good one.

One approach would be to keep the first meeting “vanilla” (or within the bounds of what’s on the menu).  Personally I would not be adverse to you asking about your fantasy AFTER we’ve met.  In between pops and while you’re re-charging your batteries, such a discussion may in fact speed up your recovery, and hasten my “hunger”.  The key (for me anyway) is to NOT go into that kind of detail if we’ve never met, and especially if I’ve never screened you.  Doing so is verboten, and you’d very likely not hear from me and a lot of other ladies ever again.

I do profess that communication is the essence in “providing”.  Choosing WHEN to ask is more important than HOW.  Beyond the vanilla/menu, my recommendation is to ask in person.  Many of us simply will not respond to explicit emails with explicit emails or at all.  The same goes for phone calls, and/or text messages.  Personally I gotta know you first.  That may mean a second appointment, or you may be lucky enough to get your fantasy in one appointment.

Hope this helps.

I don't think its too good an idea to come flying out of the bathroom, ring on cock,  leash in mouth, without giving some warning.  It might be a bit startling, to say the least.  I don't think its a good idea to spring anything out of the ordinary without a bit of discussion.  (although the cock-ring and leash may be the new LE check for some providers).

I have a few fetishes and fantasies, and I often bring them up AFTER the session is well underway and we are pretty comfortable with each other.  I keep my ideas simple, and to the point.  Often I get the response, "next time, sure".  But, occasionally, we just agree to go right at it.  And, sometimes it just isn't going to happen.  But, as long as I am polite, no one has yet been scared or turned off by my ideas (and mine aren't as simple as a leash and cock ring).  

The other thing you might do if you are seeing a provider who follows the TER board, is direct her to you post, and see if she responds to your idea.  That might be a safe, comfortable way to communicate ahead of time.  In any case, good luck.  

Just my little two cents.

Start out with ...

"I have a pretty vanilla fantasy I want to see if you can indulge me with it?" ..... SOMETIMES it's not particularly what you say that make freak a lady out but how you say it .

Asking beforehand will likely get you hung up on and springing it on her might catch her off guard as well.  You might also find that it's better to have met the lady before you decide if she is someone you'd like to do that with.

please please me

If you walk out of the bathroom with a leash in your teeth it might help to have a $50 bill in your lips.

Not asking via email from a sight unseen provider was something I already was aware of but I do appreciate it being mentioned for any other readers posed with such a situation. I also absolutely appreciate the delicacy involved in presenting a provider with such a scenario.

I think my comment about just bursting forth from the bathroom was more of a "I just want to get the asking part over with because it is hard for me to verbalize what I really want kind of social anxiety issue" response. I think what is my greatest stumbling block on this issue is finding the right words to broach the subject itself. I totally get being sensitive to the issue and the moment. Sometimes, in social situations I tend to come off as overly blunt and that obviously puts people off. Yet in a situation like this, where I am obviously feeling exposed and vulnerable, I want to express myself yet not come off as either too vulnerable or too forward. It is a very fine line too walk. It is getting over my own issues and finding the words to present them in a matter that does not make me come off as creepy in the process that I ultimately seek.

I thank all for you suggestions, especially Cates. You touched upon aspects that have indeed given me a bit of insight to address my desires.

I do provide domme sessions and this is great question!

Contact a lady who is into this type of session....do a TER search.

Be prepared to give references to the lady of your choice.

After you are referenced/approved/given the go ahead/okayed, then ask respectfully if a session of this type is available.  Communicate what you would like to experience.

Don't put the cart before the horse.  Approach like any "vanilla" session and then ASK!
Not a good idea to "surprise" anyone in my opinion.  You could get a very negative reaction.