Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a whore house. When they arrived at the whorehouse, the Madame took one look at them and decided she wasn'tgoing to waste any of her girls on these two old men. So she used 'blow-up' dolls instead. She put the dolls in each man's room and left them to their business.

After the two men were finished, they started for home and got to
talking.

The first man said, "I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or groaned...how was it for you?"

The second man replied, "I think mine was a witch."

The first man asked, "How's that?"

"Well," said the second man, "when I nibbled on her breast... she farted and flew out the window!"


An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold."

The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up." So the daughter did and her hands warmed up.

The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend and he said "My hands are freezing cold."

The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up." So he did and warmed his hands. The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is cold."

The girl replied "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up." So he did and warmed his nose.

The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter and he said, "My penis is frozen solid."

The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?"

Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes. Why do you ask?"

The daughter replies "Well they make one hell of a mess when they defrost.