I’ve been contemplating this one for awhile.  The question will eventually get to what you hobbyists prefer.  It was born from a thread from a few weeks ago.  Please know and understand that this goes beyond who is the dominant one in an encounter.  The aforementioned thread essentially asked why hobbyists are met with pretty much a mundane routine.  I.e.  BJ….stroke stroke…squirt squirt.  The poster wondered why not change things up?  Provider responses essentially said the truth.  If you ask for something different, then that’s what you’ll probably get.  A change from the mundane will ensue if you ask.  That being what you asked for as long as it isn’t something like…..”baby I want you to go out on the roof.  I’m going to to run around the building three times……on the third time I want you to jump off on my face!”  That’s not going to work.  ~LMAO now~

Seriously though, I do wonder if any of you read my website.  Specifically the FAQ tab?  I ask because I still get appointments who don’t believe that I am there to please YOU.  But I need to know what you want.  It seems that there are a few of you out there who don’t believe that I feed off of you (in more ways than the obvious).  ~wink~  I really am pleased when I please YOU.  The latter-mentioned is the ESSENCE of provider-hood.  Now if pleasing you entails me doing all of the work, then I’m very fine with that as long as you leave happier than you were when you entered.  I can and have actually bubbled over with satisfaction when you didn’t really do anything to me.  On the other side of that coin, if you want to take charge, I can be very submissive.  As a wise man or woman once said, communication is of the essence!  Perhaps what makes you happy is when you make ME scream in ecstasy.  (Gotta be careful of neighboring ears though).  I can be quite vocal, so bring a sock to stick in my mouth when necessary.  LOL.  Or better yet, you can gag me with something more “handy”.

Often times I find myself always asking how to please.  My aim is to please.  That’s my mission and should be for my brethren sisters.

Should I take matters into my own hands?  LOL … or would you prefer that I constantly ask what you want and I subsequently obey?  I don’t have a problem with that either.

I like fishing, but in our time together, we should already know whether I’m going to be going after trout or a blue whale.  Personally I have a disdain for scripts, but I don’t mind being told what to do.  In fact one of my fantasies is to be politely directed.  You’re visiting me for whatever is absent in your personal life.  So I’d better be worth it, and give you what you want.  Yes?  So help me at the onset of our meeting.

Please believe that I am not satisfied unless you are.  The stereotypical term “GFE” is a part of my package and not an “up sale”.  That’s The Way I Like It.  ~ala  KC and The Sunshine Band~  Speaking of old popular songs…….I’ve heard some perversions of good songs such as “Wrap your legs around me…. Come On, Come On”…….”I, I want to eat you…..Oh EE Oh EE Oh”,  “I just can’t stop phucking youuuu”.  Now if you can name the artists of those “pervisons”, you win an extra 15 minutes of meeting time.

Now YOU “provide” me and my sister’s with some input dammit!  Please.

I am a bit on the submissive side.   I have asked my gentleman friends sometimes what they would like and frequently the response is, "you are the professional".  Ok, yes, but help me out!!!  Generally speaking EVERY man likes the same thing, true.  But, every man also has his own kink.  His own thing that really takes him over the edge! Maybe it's sucking on your nipples.  Maybe it's squeezing your ass.  Those are the things I want to know.  Tell me! Talk to me!  Express yourself!  Please just don't lay there and say nothing.  If you enjoy what I'm doing.......tell me.  Just like you get off on hearing my moans and groans,  so do I enjoy hearing your "oh, girl...I like that" or those deep throaty "ohhhhhhh's".  Grab my hair.  Grab my ass.  Feel me.  Talk to me. Tell me what you want.  How you want it.  Why you want it.  

Yes, I enjoy the slow, soft, sensual, leisurely, romantic, more intimate moments of a date.  But, I turn into a hot slutty wench when I run into a hot-blooded, passionate, hands-all-over-me, can't-get-enough-of-me, kind of man!  I am woman hear me roar!  ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!  

DANG I NEED A COLD SHOWER RIGHT NOW.  Or a bone or two to jump!!!!!!

woooooooooooshhhhus!

Hugs and Kisses too!!!!
Belinda!!!!!!!!

And I'll apologize in advance if I ramble a bit. There are some of us who, even after a few years, and more than a few ladies, still tend to be a little on the shy side. When you couple that with the fact that Mom raised a gentleman, it can be difficult to actually SAY what we want. That gentlman crap can really get in the way sometimes. Quite simply, there are things that you just don't say to a lady.

Once, I thought that a particular lady, who advertised herself as being submissive might be just what I needed to get me over the shyness. Even though it was a pleasant encounter, I would not repeat. When a lady looks at me, and says what do you want? I tend to clam up.

Next...Having been in two marriages of pretty vanilla sex, it sort of became scripted, as you described. Neither wife ever really enjoyed oral sex, giving or receiving. A good deal of that may have had to do with the fact that I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. Thankfully, I've been a good student, and the ladies here have been good teachers. I don't mind asking what a lady likes, or what feels good to her.

I guess for me, I'm more of a "go with the flow" kind of guy. I do enjoy it when a lady takes things into her own hands, but probably not to the point of being totally dominant. When a lady does take the lead, it tends to make me much more relaxed, and willing to meet her on more equal ground. Mutual satisfaction is what is most important to me, and if I can walk away with the feeling that you enjoyed yourself as much as I did, then that's the kind of date I was looking for.

I hope that at least some of this made sense.

I admit that my session often follow the same routine. There are a variety of reasons for this.

I think the biggest one is variety and familiarity. Many of us seek out variety and usually don't repeat too often. That means we stick what we know works for us.

Suggestions are always appreciated, I recently had a session where my date wanted me to cum on her tits. That isn't a big turn-on for me, but I appreciated the suggestion. Many of us would also appreciate tips on how to get the ladies off. If a bit more tongue or a deeper stroke is what is needed to send you over the edge, I want to know. A real orgasm is always a bonus.

Then there is the rarity factor. From what I see on the boards, a date a quarter is about average. That means a guy spends about 3 months saving up the $$$ for an hour of your time. He may not be too open to change as it is a pretty valuable hour.

Finally, you have to factor in being in Minnesota. Men here aren't brought up to be aggressive. Many of us are just happy to be getting laid.

Conclusion, suggest away. The guys that know what they want will be fine telling you and the other ones might be surprised and intrigued by your suggestions.

Unless, of course, the fantasy is to spend an hour without saying a word.

Hungry,
This is good information for me to know!

I have never looked at it from the perspective of a true gentleman!!  I can see how it would be difficult for a man who was raised to be respectful to women to say those kinds of things to ladies.  

You have made me re-think a few things.  

I will still welcome the passionate, take control kind of men.  And, will be gentler with my more mild-mannered gentle men.  Either way, I adore them all!!

Thank you, Hungry, for letting me see things from another view!!

Big hugs to you,
Belinda

expressing what they want and need, it could decrease the demand for providers... LOL.

Maybe just me, but when a lady starts with the "what do you like question," it comes across like a waitress taking my lunch order. I've said this before, and I'll say it again... What I would really and truly love to hear from a lady at the start of our time together: "Cordial, I'm here for you. How can we make our time together especially enjoyable and memorable?"

-- Modified on 12/11/2009 10:04:57 AM

"Riley, I'm going to keep your dick hard for an hour!"

I have to admit that Delilah came very close to doing just that.

First and foremost, sorry for the length.

As hungry mentioned, it is about how we were brought up. I was taught to be a gentlemen therefore I will forever be one.

Personally for me, as much as I'd like to be the dominant one, telling the provider what to do, frankly, sometimes I just want her to go all out on me. Call me unselfish, but that is something I truly enjoy. ...a fantasy, per se. My way of thought is, she's so busy fulfilling others' needs, what about her own? Why doesn't she just go apeshit on me (not to the point of no return) where it'd be enjoyable by both parties.

Then there's the times where directing is involved. As the previous posters mentioned, sometimes it would just be nice to hear them say, in a sexy, soft, seductive way, "Adam, let me ease your mind, let me fufill your fantasy, let me be your lady and do with me all you'd like (besides [enter your no-no here]).

Then there's the times where I would just like it when she drops to her knees the moment the doors close and start to........................ yeah.

Your aim is to please me, but sometimes my satisfaction is from you, satisfying yourself with me. ..if that makes any sense.

How about if I keep it hard for 2 hours or die trying?  And I'm not going to die!

It's okay to be crass guys and ladies.  The whole point is to learn.

So first you're going to suck my bare cock and while I lick your hot wet pussy until you squirt. The I want you to jump on top and ride my dick like rodeo clown on crack. After I bust a nut, you need to clean up Mr. Johnson and then play with him like he is more valuable than the Hope diamond.

While you do this I'm gonna plunge a huge, black, ribbed dildo in and out of your pulsating cunt until your clit is fatter than 2 cops on a donut binge. My now rigid shaft is just itching to penetrate you doggie while I rub my thumb around your asshole. After I pound your ass so hard the neighbors think we're having a slap fight, you're gonna spin around, yank off the condom and rub my dick between your tits until I spooge a long, high glorious arc of cum across the room.

Is that better?

Ok but remember (if you read my website).  My ass is exit ONLY.  Everything else is cool.  I don't do drugs though.  Not even alcohol.

That's delightful to have you posting on this board, Marie. You help keep it from getting too boring and bring up some great topics for discussion. Thank you!!
booga booga

but I agree with Marie on that one minor point...a finger is okay.  But, only a finger!!

I compare asking for "something unusual" to asking for a date when I was in high school.....I am always afraid of her thinking I am weird, and of course - saying no.  .....And then there's the possible "that's extra" response. I have been conditioned by wives into thinking what I want is questionable and only seems to cause them to feel inadequate.......not something I want a person I hardly know to feel ! Another thought that keeps coming up as I see someone is how much I want to have everything go smoothly so my hard-earned dollars go as far as possible......in other words - why jeopardize anything by opening my mouth....
To openly encourage communication on a FAQ page gives me enough inspiration (and courage)to make a contact and helps me talk/ask. I will open up if I feel the other person is being genuine and reciprocating in their replies. There too I have hesitated....not wanting someone I am contacting to think I am just wasting their time with an email that may seem like it is not serious about following thru with a solid connection and meet......it seem like the ladies get too many of them already by some of the ads or TER posts I read.
Person - to - person,-I consider myself a gentleman and it can feel akward to hear myself talking out loud about something unless the lady I am with gives me some sort of "signal" thru chat and whatever else, that she is interested in being open-minded to the play & fun ahead, to exercise and expand the rendevous.
I really enjoy reading the feed-back so far on this one !

Agreed...Marie, this is a great thread!

I've been thinking about posting my idea about this for some time now and seeing what kind of response I get.  My idea is a bit the same as yours but opposite in that I would be the one who wants to know what would take place and what you (or any provider) enjoy.
Here goes...I would like to receive proposals from providers that would layout what they would like to take place in the event that were to meet, in the form of a review for themselves that would ultimately be posted here on TER.  Of course the review would only be posted if we really met and only if it were accurate in detail...with the exception that minor details didn't go exactly as anticipated (those facts would edited), the review would be posted as the provider had provided the fantasy review that came true.
I already know many things that please me (I'm sure there are more possibilities that I haven't yet explored) and think that I would find it both interesting and satisfying to know what pleases a provider too.  By writing a review and submitting it to me, I would have a good idea of what you would be doing to me and ideally, what I could be doing to you for your pleasure as well.  I realize too that I couldn't possibly choose to act out every fantasy review with every provider that submitted one, as much as I would like to spend time with every provider here, I simply can't afford it.  This may be the downfall of my idea, there is no guarantee that I would pick a review to act out which would leave no reward for the efforts that were put forward by a provider.
I just think that it could be an incredible experience to act out the ideal scenario that a provider has in mind and may even get me to open up more as I would potentially be more open to ideas if the provider had already expressed an activity that she would like to take place.. that in a normal situation I may be too shy to ask to do.  I would already know that she's open to that activity (whatever it may be) and wouldn't feel reluctant to try and act on it because I'm not sure she would enjoy it.  As an example, I'll steal an idea from Riley...the part about him using a black, ribbed dildo (I don't care what color) on you while he recovers would be something that I think would be fun to do but I'm not so sure I'd ask you if I could do that.  If you had written that in a review that you submitted to me as something that we'd do together, then, I would be comfortable trying that with you.

Sorry for the long note but it's just something, a fantasy, that I've been pondering for the past couple of weeks.

Marie you are like the famous "all day sucker", or is it licker.
Pun intented.

1) Not supposed to talk explicity when communicating in this bizz, so it most likely can't happen until a second meeting.

2) I am a gentleman first!  But I do have a naughty side that would love to speak/act out.

3) I fear "saying" something wrong that would kill the mood/session(one never knows what naughty words might offend a lady).

4) I fear "doing" something that may offend the lady or be taken the wrong way.

5) I fear 4 or 5 happening and having myself put on black lists or DNS lists.  It is as if playing safe to continue being able to play does interfere at times.


That being said, I have had a few exceptional occurances in regards to this topic where ladies put me at ease OR took steps to allow the imagination to wander.

None of these though were on a first meeting, these ladies paid very close attention to chat before or after first session.  Some ladies provided me with safety actions or words before hand.  Some have asked me directly what my top 2 or 3 fantasies were and then made them happen upon a next meeting as a very nice surprise.

So the question as a gent.  How does one know when he can throw caution to the wind and just go for it on a first date with most of you ladies?  I have mentioned a few examples of how ladies have done it on a future/follow up session.

its always good to hear that some of you girls are this professional and put so much effort into pleasing your clients.  

I think its like any other professional relationship - doctor, lawyer, hair stylist, etc - as you see each other more and more, the depth of understanding the need gets better and better.  that is what makes it more of a GFE or whatever you want to call it.  the first time is going to be an exploration and if the chemistry is more good than bad, there will be a second and third time and each time will get better.  I would hate to find someone where the bar is set too high the first time around - there will be nothing but disappointment thereafter.  And if the guy doesn't come back - well he can just go fuck himself can't he?  lol

-- Modified on 12/12/2009 9:00:56 AM

I agree. It's hard to me to express what I'd enjoy for all of the reasons above. One of those fantasies would be a seduction where matters would be taken out of my hands. And, at some point, without asking my permission, she'd say ... erotically ... "baby, it's time"  as she reached for her strap on ........
I'd have trouble actually asking for that.

When I am with a client who insist that it's all up to me to make every decision, they are asking me to adopt a masculine role.  Okay.  Fine.  But to then simulateously expect me to be the sexual Goddess, oozing feminine sexuality and receptive to her partner is not realistic.  It's frustrating as hell.  Especially if the client complains he didn't get what he wanted.

So very well said, both of you ladies!  Thank you!1