the Love Goddess, who is a certified sex therapist and psychologist, and who ran the Erotic Highway board for some years, used to address this issue thusly:
As long as there is an exchange of money, the emotions are not for real. Period. So if a provider says she wants to marry you, pull the plug on the cash. See how long it lasts.
I was just told by a provider recently that she wanted to marry me. This is the second time it has happened to me (different girl this time). It made me kind of uncomfortable, and I don't know if I should keep seeing her, or texting her for that matter. I was wondering, has anyone else had this happen to them?
I am not in this to find a wife/girlfriend, but on the plus side, it's nice having a provider like you like that.
I've never seriously considered "marrying" a provider, but I've dated some outside of pay-to-play and had a few live with me in an on/off sort of way for long periods of time in a sex-4-rent arrangement...
It just proves my theory that providers aren't prone to making good life-choices or Heathy long-term decisions if they thought for a second that I was any kind of quality-catch!!!
Posted By: NWP
I was just told by a provider recently that she wanted to marry me. This is the second time it has happened to me (different girl this time). It made me kind of uncomfortable, and I don't know if I should keep seeing her, or texting her for that matter. I was wondering, has anyone else had this happen to them?
I am not in this to find a wife/girlfriend, but on the plus side, it's nice having a provider like you like that.
Right after they have the best orgasm they've ever had.... ;=O
Seriously though, its never happened to me.
Seeing her again has to be your call. no one can decide that for you. If you like her, and still want to see her, I would set some boundaries. That way she can decide what she wants to do also. She'll either understand or break off the relationship between you.
(We of course were barebacking, as is my usual custom). Anyway, it took me aback a bit and I asked her what she meant, come to find out, she WAS actually married, and he was in jail... Which lead to that me asking "are you ok?" And her saying "not really" and a whole string of events were I let myself sink into someone else's quagmire way to far before pulling out and running away...
There's a lot of broken people out there, but in this hobby, I'd describe most of the lives I've ever let myself see into below the surface more as "shattered" that merely broken...
(We of course were barebacking, as is my usual custom). Anyway, it took me aback a bit and I asked her what she meant, come to find out, she WAS actually married, and he was in jail... Which lead to that me asking "are you ok?" And her saying "not really" and a whole string of events were I let myself sink into someone else's quagmire way to far before pulling out and running away...
There's a lot of broken people out there, but in this hobby, I'd describe most of the lives I've ever let myself see into below the surface more as "shattered" that merely broken...
DJ, you literally did sink in too deep before "pulling out"!
Seriously, tho, it's odd you should be asking this question. If you know the provider well enough for her to be saying this, you should know how you feel about her and whether her desire to marry you is genuine or not.
The fact that you're asking us -- total strangers -- suggests you don't know your own feelings.
She love you enough to go off the clock for awhile? She love you enough to retire?
I doubt like hell you are interested in this woman, but I bet it is cool for your ego to post here that one of these ladies wants you. In some ways I feel bad for her that you even ask any of us for advice about something so personal to her. It is one thing to rate her in her job on TER, but this is serious and on another level.
Treat her right and do the right thing. This is not her pocket book, it's her heart.
I have been a hobbyist for years. Lots of ladies have made me happy and vice-Versa.
So after the "marriage comment" session, here is what I do:
The next time I meet her, I buy her dinner and take her shopping. Talk to her and have a good time. Act like GF+BF, husband Wife. Do the same for the 3rd meeting. 99percent of the time she will loose interest. Excitement/fairy tale/movie romance is what most working woman seek, a mundane relationship will make them loose interest.
1percent of the time she will not giveup. So if you like her, keep dating her. If not, change your number and never call or see her again.
Enjoy the ride. And always have fun and be happy.
Posted By: NWP
I was just told by a provider recently that she wanted to marry me. This is the second time it has happened to me (different girl this time). It made me kind of uncomfortable, and I don't know if I should keep seeing her, or texting her for that matter. I was wondering, has anyone else had this happen to them?
I am not in this to find a wife/girlfriend, but on the plus side, it's nice having a provider like you like that.
I was just told by a provider recently that she wanted to marry me. This is the second time it has happened to me (different girl this time). It made me kind of uncomfortable, and I don't know if I should keep seeing her, or texting her for that matter. I was wondering, has anyone else had this happen to them?
I am not in this to find a wife/girlfriend, but on the plus side, it's nice having a provider like you like that.
This is supposed to be a professional relationship. Friendly conversation and chatter are fine. Even exchanging some emails between appointments is OK. Common interests, conversation and such make together time even better.
BUT talks of marriage, romantic relationship, etc. would be a red flag for me unless that is what I wanted myself. That is assuming I was in a position for a romantic relationship, of course. I have maintained personal contact with a woman after she retired from being a courtesan, but that is strictly a personal, non-sexual relationship. Boundaries are important.
I am not making a normative statement generally, just what my own rules for myself are.
If and when one person or the other oversteps those boundaries, it is time to end it. It is a business relationship and should be kept that way. I have learned from personal experience.
I totally agree with your statement Bell, I too have personal experience under my belt. I had to learn the hard way back when I began to partake of the hobby many years ago, I was inexperienced, I dared to cross the line, with a young lady, who was UTR. We had it in our minds, that it could work, and the result, was a painful lesson to us both.
Since that time, while I may have had genuine feelings for some ladies, I have toed the line, and not ventured past, even when the other party has tried in vain, to get me to cross. it is business, or it is other, but not both.
Even in personal relationships, Boundaries are everything, and many here in the hobby, are crossing boundaries, and living on the edge.
But I've had several do a little fishing. Asking if I was involved, hinting how they would like to go riding with me (I train horses). I think my ATF from years ago, (a hot little Italian girl I'm sure many here would remember) Would have dated me, and had things worked out differently in my life I would have dated her.
the Love Goddess, who is a certified sex therapist and psychologist, and who ran the Erotic Highway board for some years, used to address this issue thusly:
As long as there is an exchange of money, the emotions are not for real.
Period.
So if a provider says she wants to marry you, pull the plug on the cash. See how long it lasts.
Pollenbroker has it nailed, you are being chumped.
Once again, she is yanking your chain, the chain on your wallet. I still have the bridge if you want it.
Posted By: Pollenbroker
the Love Goddess, who is a certified sex therapist and psychologist, and who ran the Erotic Highway board for some years, used to address this issue thusly:
As long as there is an exchange of money, the emotions are not for real.
Period.
So if a provider says she wants to marry you, pull the plug on the cash. See how long it lasts.
I don't disagree with the Love Goddess -- but I do wonder how provider behavior differs from that of a wife/SO? Try telling your wife/SO you want to quit your job and live on love for a few years and see how that goes over.
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