I discovered yesterday that a friend from our community passed away a few days ago.  He was a wonderful, warm, thoughtful, kind and loving man.  We shared some very special times together over the last few months; prepared some delicious homemade meals, imbibed in lovely wine on warm summer nights and enjoyed many, many long conversations, marveling at the complexities of life!  On Valentine's Day we dined at a fabulous restaurant where we savored and appreciated each morsel of the succulent fare that was prepared for us.  It was an important day to him and he wanted to make it special.  He stood like a little boy when I met him, in a suit, tie and stiff white shirt that he could not button because of painful fingers.  He looked at me bashfully and asked if I could help him with his buttons and tie, then stood up straight and self consciously smoothed his remaining hair…the cancer treatment had taken most of it.  I thought he looked perfectly regal and handsome and told him so as I brushed his shoulders and straightened his tie.  Some might find it odd but the purpose for the evening was to honor the memory of his very best friend and partner in life…his deceased wife.  He accomplished it with style and grace.

We often listened to his favorite music and he would shed tears over regret, bittersweet, happy and sad memories, faith, inspiration and hope.  We looked at pictures of his life and he told stories of the many happy days, adventures and joy he experienced.  He was a soldier and fought in a terrible war.  He served his community in many ways and stayed active and involved with his friends, family and church.  We slow danced for hours, we laughed, we held each other for a long time.  He cried in my arms…he knew he was dying and whispered of his acceptance and faith, but that it was hard to say goodbye.  He had suffered a great deal of loss in a short time but never lost his humor or courage.  He wanted to love and be loved.  He wanted to be close and to be comforted by the warmth, life and energy of another human being.  He was an ordinary man but lived an extraordinary life.  He gifted me with an antique framed print that had been his mother's.  The paper is water-stained and wavy, the frame worn and scratched but I will treasure and cherish it forever.

The last time I saw him he was fragile and tired but his sweet smile never faded.  His eyes were warm and sad but his spirit was undaunted…his faith never shaken.  He said goodbye and I'll see you again soon.

I hope this is not too maudlin to share on the board.  This is the first time in my vocation as a Courtesan I have lost a friend.  He was a valued member of our community and a cherished patron to many.  Although there may be some who have become jaded by this "hobby" and their observations and opinions of the people in it, I think it is important to realize that our paths always cross for a reason…that even the few brief moments we share, regardless of what we know or don't know about one another, regardless of our perceptions…we leave an impact in the hearts and minds of the people we touch.  We are guarded, we are cautious…we have fears and we sometimes make mistakes and errors in judgement…but in my mind I will forever believe in the good in people.  Someone once said  “We’re always leaving little pieces of ourselves as we move on the pathways of life. And even as we age, evolve, wear out and disappear into the dust, the pieces sometimes remain.”

To my dear friend who is gone, I wish you wondrous things in your next great adventure.  To my dear friends still here…blessings, love, happiness joy and pleasure and live each day to its fullest!  Forgive yourself, forgive your enemies, forgive me and be good to one another always.

Fondly,
Francesca

"And, when he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars, and he will make the face of Heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun."
~Shakespeare, from Romeo and Juliet