Your backpage ad states that you are "newbie friendly." How are they supposed to have references?
You recently posted that you were now offering Nuru Massage. Most massage guys aren't used to being screened.
Since I returned from ND, I have been getting an overwhelming amount of calls with no provider references. I doubt there are that many newbies comming to surface all at one time. I'm talking an average of 3 per day, some days more, & more often than not, they want to get together within 30 minutes. Good luck with that! One guy calls w/ no names, then calls 2 days later, rattles off a half dozen "hooker" names, no #'s, & says he doesn't want to do all that when asked for numbers. I'm. Sorry, I don't want to call a hundred Tiffanys till I find the one you supposedly seen either.
Anyone else having this problem? & guys, why would you refrain from offering provider references, & more importantly, why would you see a provider who would see you at the drop of a hat w/o screening? Seems like a dangerous move IMHO.
1- She's attractive and the pics look real.
2- She has reviews that look legit.
3- Spur of the moment opportunity to hobby
4- Reluctance to give out personal info.
5- Price
For better or worse the reality is most escorts don't screen beyond how the guy comes across on the phone. This includes well reviewed escorts. Riskier? Probably so but these girls are still in business and apparently doing well so the evidence suggests it is not enormously riskier.
Your backpage ad states that you are "newbie friendly." How are they supposed to have references?
You recently posted that you were now offering Nuru Massage. Most massage guys aren't used to being screened.
As a massage lady
I screen clients, you just don't know how I'm doing it.
References are useless to me as far as safety goes so,
I don't give or accept them anymore . Too many variables of how things could turn out.
Id have to agree massage hobbyists don't get screened as much as other hobbyists.
Newbie here Miss Onfire and I was nervous as all get out seeing my first provider. I told her when I called I was new at this she was most understanding and asked for information like employer and if I had a bus. card, but being retired I didn't so she was comfotable with E-mail adress and an organization I belong to. Do not know if she checked but on my next call set up a date. I did meet a provider with ter reviews and was still worried about legal and being robbed was almost ready to call the deal off. Looking at it from a providers stand point you can't see someone whithout references.
Looking from my point I want to be asked; it makes me feel more at ease, things like name address home phone and employer may be info most are reluctent to give out and since we are newbie a provider reference is n/a and two or three will take me awhile. I think referncing is a must but both have to give and take some to get the job done.
Giving references would make me uncomfortable and, without a good reason, I don't want to be uncomfortable.
There is an ample supply of providers who are available and enjoyable and don't require references. I have seen hundreds of women over the past 15 years, with good experiences and bad experiences, and I have never had a problem that references would have effected.
Many providers feel they can make demands on clients because they offer something "special" that is otherwise hard to find. Recently, I called a well reviewed provider who demanded references from me and bragged about how "careful" she was and that she would "never" see anyone without references. When her speech was over, I called someone else and spent my money with a woman who was less demanding.
The reality is, neither one of us are irreplaceable in this process. We are amazingly easy to replace. You and I have never met, and we're getting along without each other.
I agree. I can't help but wonder how safe it is to have providers remember my name and number. They see a lot of clients, and logically they must have the need to keep a log book, which will become incriminating evidence against their clients in the unfortunate event that they are compromised.
There is an ample supply of providers who are available and enjoyable and don't require references. I have seen hundreds of women over the past 15 years, with good experiences and bad experiences, and I have never had a problem that references would have effected.
Many providers feel they can make demands on clients because they offer something "special" that is otherwise hard to find. Recently, I called a well reviewed provider who demanded references from me and bragged about how "careful" she was and that she would "never" see anyone without references. When her speech was over, I called someone else and spent my money with a woman who was less demanding.
The reality is, neither one of us are irreplaceable in this process. We are amazingly easy to replace. You and I have never met, and we're getting along without each other.
I really wish I knew why this topic seems to come up so often. Soon we'll have a screenful of vehement debate between the "pro screen" and "no screen" camps. In the end, nothing will be accomplished - those that fervently believe in screening will still feel that way, as will those who have never provided and will never provide a reference will still feel that way too. And those of us who believe there is a case to be made for both approaches will simply start the countdown until the topic comes up again.
I am unaware of any rules of this forum that require you to read everything that is posted. Most postings have a short title that gives you a hint as to the topic. When I see postings on a topic that doesn't interest me, I move on to something else.
It may be a crude system, but it works for me.
Since you have no interest in references, maybe you should be taking your own crude advice and ignore the topic.
To me references are part of screening. Being one who does not completely rely on provider references, there are several ways to ensure safety without them. I think it is the best interest of any lady to have varies method to screen prospective clients. I for one think the pm system is excellent for establishing intial contact.
Screening does not have to be intrusive, I quietly screen all the time
Actually. I quietly screen all the time too and I have been quietly screening you since yesterday. After reading your reviews, I am pleased to report that you have been tentatively approved to see me. It appears that you and I have some highly compatible personality traits that need to be explored more fully in an in depth personal interview.
Are there any gaps in your schedule this coming week?
Actually, I do have an interest in references, because I know that the information given as references can be misused by a provider. I object to the propagation of the idea that references are a requirement and the refusal to give references is an indication of bad intent by the hobbyist.
It has been my experience that, if you show up for an appointment and pay the provider for her services, she will like you, whether you give references or not.
I've also learned that it doesn't matter if you are fat or old or wrinkled, but that's a topic for another day.
Your position on this topic is well chronicled on this board, and others as well. You're FAMOUS already. May you follow well_okay's suggestion. It's no longer a wonder why you use an alias.
This board provides for use of an alias, and I do so. Some people, apparently including you, choose to use their real name. Either is acceptable.
Thanks for your input, "Twits."
You seem to have made a lot of assumptions about me based on information that could have only come from your imagination.
I can tell you that I have never given a provider my name, a reference, or any other information that would serve to verify that I am a decent, respectful gentleman, who is going to be mindful of a provider's body, safety, health, comfort, and boundaries. I have never been asked to leave, I am almost always invited back, and I have never been told I am not welcome to come back. That's been my experience and, as you so clumsily put it, I only see my experience from my side of things.
Beyond my own behavior, I have no duty or interest in making you more comfortable with the risks of your chosen work. If someone calls you that won't give you references, like I wouldn't, or you just don't like, there is no reason for you to see that person. Except for the money.
and are, in fact, invited back, then it is only because you are being a descent person when you are in the company of that lady. Believe me, if you were a jackass, insulting, hurtful, forceful, etc you would not be invited back. Even for the money, honey.
Just because I have chosen a career where there is risk involved does not mean I should not ensure my own safety and health. A firefighter has a risky career but you would not see him walk into a burning building without his safety gear. A nurse has a risky job with disease and infection, but she wears her gloves and masks when needed as safety gear. Even pro athletes run risks of injuries but they have pads as safety gear. Screening is just about the only piece of safety gear we have at our disposal. So we take advantage of that. Some of us know ladies who did not screen and were then stalked, beaten, and raped. Will screening guarantee this not happen, NO. But, hopefully, it will deter those who would consider it. I would hope it would lessen the odds of it happening.
By the way, I know several ladies on this board who, if they knew who you were, would not see you because here on TER you, sir, are insulting and hurtful.
I will not continue to debate this. Let's agree to disagree.
You have made a thoughtful and very convincing argument and I totally
agree with you.
What's the debate? You are trying to convince me that, for you, screening and references are a good idea. You are welcome to take any precautions you wish. I really don't care.
I'm simply saying that I won't give references to a provider.
Threecups, thanks for the tip and I appreciate your sarcasm - but this topic DOES interest me, which is precisely why I replied. Do a little research and you'll see that I am successfully able to avoid commenting on the vast majority of postings here.
Actually, my tip and sarcasm was in response to your whining about the discussion of references. I'll admit I haven't "researched" your position on the vast majority of postings that you avoid commenting on. I'll have to google "Newbieguy42," do my "due diligence" and get back to you if I have any questions.
I understood what your tip and sarcasm were for. It's funny, a few weeks ago you commended me on my statesmanship...now I am a whiner. But it's all good. Hell, when you break it down we were probably BOTH whining. Me about the incessant and redundant rehashing of the same topic over and over, and you whining about people believing that it's not safe to hobby with providers who don't ask for references. But hey, it's a discussion board after all, isn't it?
There are a lot of reasons why guys don't have references. Personally, my main problem is just lack of frequency. As a relatively poor college student with a very busy life and a 90-120 minute drive to the cities, I just don't hobby very much. Since I got into the hobby I have only seen three providers, two poor experiences around July and October of 2008 and one good (reviewed) experience in September of 2010. Of the two girls I saw in 2008, one of them has disappeared and neither of them would ever remember me even if I did call. My recent encounter was only four months ago but I don't know if that would even be good for a reference since it was an agency. There's a chance the girl remembers me but I have no direct number for her so it would depend on whether or not the agency kept me on file and is also willing to tell any random girl who calls them that I saw one of their girls in September.
Not all of us who partake in the hobby have six figure salaries and the ability to see a provider every week or even every month, nor do we all have a dozen providers on our speed dials that immediately remember us and are willing to give another provider the go ahead when nothing is in it for them. Should I be required to spend a few thousand dollars that I don't have seeing providers that I don't want to see just so I can hopefully land a reference? I'd probably be lucky to get two reliable references in ten girls. How long would those references be good for before I was forced to do it all over again?
Obviously the provider's safety is very important, no one ever denies that. But there are a lot of other things to consider such as our privacy and (like in my case) our ability to get references in the first place. Part of the reason we pay so much for your very basic services (not to belittle anyone's profession, but lets face it, fucking and pretending to like it is done every day for free) is that the risk is largely on your end. If we have to pay $300-$400 or more per hour, AND take on more of the risk, AND jump through your hoops just to get an appointment that may not even be any good... well, it just makes it less and less likely that any of us will see a provider like that.
Ty everyone forenlightening me. I have simply ben baffled at the recent lack of references. OBTW, provider refs is not the only or primary method of screening I exercise. You'd be amazed at the amount of silent screening methods available at our finger tips. I just found curious the recent increase of potential playmates the say they have no provider refs. Happy hobbying to all!
Same boat but I figure newbies especially the younger ones is a normal cycle for the hobby.
Gotta start somewhere.
PS I love "virgins" .
If you have a family and relatives in the area and don't want to see your face on
a web site and your name in the paper then screening and references are important.
I prefer not to see ladies that don't check.
If you don't care about screening then it becomes a game of chance.
The more people you see the more your odds go up that the next one
will be a sting.
I can't afford to be stung even once so I don't take chances.
It is as simple as that.
When I read this post, I could only shake my (big) head.
If your security is important to you, do you think it is a good idea to share important confidential information about yourself with a stranger, whose only contact with you is based upon conspiring to engage in the very activity that you want to be held in confidence?
You're giving this stranger a ringside seat for your intimate secrets and then relying on her to not misuse the information you have given her?
Isn't this what we call thinking with the "little" head?
Providers are plentiful and they all respect cash. Are you afraid that no woman will have sex with you, for money, if you don't give them your personal information? Believe me, they will!
I don't go to see strangers. I go to see ladies that have a safe reputation. I screen them also.
If you prefer not to be involved in screening it is up to you.
I hope you continue to beat the odds.