There's one coming up soon in my area, but I've never been to one before.  What the heck do y'all talk about at these things?  I've never been to a social function at which I need to conceal my real job and many other real aspects of my life.  Not only that, but I've never been to a social function at which I feel like I'd be intruding if I asked someone else details about their lives ("what do you do", "where'd you go to school", "are you married with kids", etc.).

So what am I supposed to do, fabricate a backstory?  And expect that others have done the same?  I mean, I can see the purpose of having M & Gs--in fact, the main reason I'm considering going is because there is a particular provider on the RSVP list who I'd love to meet in person prior to committing to a session.  But I guess I'm just not sure how one is supposed to conversationally navigate their way around one of these events.  

Should I create a backstory, and what should I avoid asking providers as well as fellow hobbyists?

Thanks!

If it's THAT important to you to keep any biographical details about yourself secret, this might not be your kind of event.

I can certainly understand why- maybe you're paranoid the wife has detectives, you're highly recognizable as a public figure, and so on.

But most people are fine with either disclosing certain things... or just not talking if it's not comfortable to disclose something. But you're not a CIA agent under deep cover, really.

Like what kinds of things, specifically?  Their occupation?  The company they work for?  Their family situation?  Where they went to college?  Their facebook url?

Do hobbyists really not care about divulging all this kind of information to people (providers and hobbyists) at Meet & Greets?

I find it hard to believe you would question the purpose behind creating a backstory--not just to use at M & Gs, but also to use in sessions with providers.

Could some other folks, hobbyists and providers, chime in here please?  I've never been to a M & G and I'm really wondering if people there are on guard with respect to their real identities, occupations and other biographical details, or do people tend to interact as openly as they would at a normal social function.

Yes, it's a normal social function. So you share what you feel comfortable with.

I wouldn't start handing out biographical details to random people I met in a bar or a party either, but I don't see that you need to treat it vastly differently, to the point of inventing an entire biography.

I am also going to my first M&G soon and looking forward to seeing other reposnses from veterans to the scene. I am very  excited but I am  nervous as well!  I do not intend to create any stories, just be myself. At the same time, I intend to be very discening about what I share about me and what stays unsaid. I am sure that there will be plenty to talk about without going outside of that comfort zone and without having to create a fictional me.  Good luck to both of us!

Your a better man than I BBB to come to the aid of an alias asking such dribble . I do however understand your concern given your background.

Sounds like he should steer clear of this and any recurrent parties with the mindset he has.

I will use one also.  I would have givin some direction here but not to an alias.  I am the vice president and master at arms.  I willl tell you later in another thread.  Geeeze Crezzy

Umm, could you please explain to me why you won't give me advice simply because I'm using an alias?  As you can no doubt tell from my original post, I am a newb here on TER, and new to the world of hobbying at large.  What possible difference could it make to you whether I posted with my real handle or an alias?

(For the record, the reason I used the alias is to support my team during its current run in the playoffs.  I'm a diehard Phillies fan and one of our ace pitchers is named Cole Hamels.  He's pitching today in a pivotal game 3 of the NLCS.  My alias, WholeCamels, is simply a play on his name that some Phils fans use when referring to him.  Pretty sinister stuff, right?)

So, being a newb I have no idea what you're referring to when you say you're "the vice president and master at arms", but it sounds like you'd be a great person here to give me some advice on my question.  I would definitely appreciate it.  (And it appears that at least one other newb on this thread is eager to hear advice from you TER veterens.)

Thanks.

...came onto your post and without experience gave the BEST answer possible.

Read his response and use the information given as being accurate, intelligent and with good common sense.

Good luck to both of you !

I think he should get out of the hobby all together.. If you cannot trust people,, you need to re think...

Why the alias? Some of us may still be just a bit anxious and nervous - remember, we are new and feeling our way through uncertain and uncharted waters!   I know that I for one would be appreciative of suggestions or advice from the veterans. If not - we'll be fine.

That is the most idiotic comment I've read on this forum.  Sounds like you've got nothing to lose.  That's a shame.

Go look at Eliot Spitzer if you want an example- or should I say, rather, "Client 9"?

Realistically, ANY involvement in the hobby involves a certain level of trust. After all, you don't know if you're about to be stung or robbed at gunpoint; she doesn't know if you're the next Green River Killer.

Everyone needs to judge what their tolerance for risk is and act accordingly.

If you found this board, than use the drop down window and it's right below the General Discussion board.  On the FAQ for Newbies, the rules are a little different than this board, and you'd probably get an answer from mrfisher, who is quite the expert on all things TER.  As to the negativity to wards an alias, here's the deal, first and foremost when using an alias it doesn't show how many reviews you've written so no one can get an idea of your experience and the type of ladies you see. Also when using an alias, readers cannot to a search of your previous board posts and get an idea as to your activity on TER. Also using an alias means you cannot be pm'd which is a good way of carrying on a discussion in private. My suggest is to read the "self help center" in red print on the main page of the newbie board. Lots of topics are discussed and is very helpful when starting in the hobby. As to the fake history, as previously stated, the hobby has a lot of trust built into it. The ladies trust us, and we trust them. I ditch that thought and instead just divulge what you're comfortable with. Good luck. Forgot to mention, most m&g's you need to be screened, just like when you see a provider.

With all due respect, I never said I have "too much to lose to risk sharing anything".  (Some of you guys have a real tendency to put words in people's mouths.)  But I would like to minimize what I share, particularly because I'm a newb and I would rather err on the side of caution.  I was merely asking in this thread for some guidance from experienced hobbyists, and perhaps an insight into the types of info. you all are comfortable sharing at these M & Gs.  This is all greek to me.  (And by "greek", I mean foreign, not anal.)  I'm a newb trying to figure out how to navigate my way into this hobby, and with all due respect, suggestions by you veterans that "the hobby isn't for me" are presumptuous and unhelpful.

This isn't a wedding where you are sitting at a table with strangers and need to find out their history for small talk.

Where'd you go to school?  Really?  Just don't ask it.  I also recommend against asking for home addresses and social security numbers.  

You are overthinking it.  Conversation with ladies will probably be something like this. "Hi.  You are cute.  Are you local or touring.  I'd like to see you.  Do you have a Web site?"

If you are talking with other guys...  "Hey.  I saw you talking with that redhead.  Have you seen her?"

Or maybe "Hey.  Got any good stories?  Or advice on pre-pay phones?  Or reference sites?"  

Sure. Maybe someone will ask what you do.  You don't need to go into details.  "I do computer support.  I work in Real Estate.  I am in advertising."  No need for any personal details.  

We are a community and we all have at least one interest in common.  Conversation won't be difficult.

First off, I love the "FAQ for Newbies" forum and have been posting there frequently during my few months as a new TER member.  I didn't submit this thread to the "Meet & Greet" forum, but the Mods placed it here instead, I suppose because the subject matter was relating to M&Gs.  And yes, you're right...mrfisher is a wealth of information, as are some of the other regulars over there (yourself included).  And I gotta be honest, the guys that post over there have been a lot friendlier than some have here.  When I realized the Mods decided to post this thread in the M&G forum instead, I was hoping some of those regulars from the Newbie and GD forums would chime in here on my thread.  I've seen you post over there a lot, but so far, you're the only name I recognize in this thread.  I thank you for your response.

I appreciate your comments regarding aliases.  You wrote:

*  "Using an alias does not let other members see how many reviews I've written, and therefore they cannot get an idea of my experience and the types of ladies I see."  
*  "Readers cannot do a search of my previous board posts to get an idea of my TER activity."

My question to you is, why on earth would anyone need this info about me to answer my question?  I mean, while I didn't come right out and say I was a newb in my original post, I did say I'd never been to a M&G before and was looking for some guidance about what I should and should not say about myself, or, what would be proper or improper to inquire about other guests at one of these events.  

Ya know, I've seen one of the Mods (Little Phil, IIRC) post that people using aliases should not be discriminated against, but it seems the message has not been embraced by a lot of members.  Look, I can understand that the use of aliases should sometimes give people pause--like that alias who claimed to be a Vanity Fair reporter wanting to query a bunch of members here about the fall of CL and how it would impact the hobby.  That post, whether it was legit or not, screamed LE to me.  But geez, how innocuous was my post?  Completely.  And for that guy, The Village Idiot, to respond here suggesting he was some kind of M&G expert and was "going to give me all kinds of advice but decided against it because I used an alias"...well, that was just lame.

Whatever.

Thanks, hiddenhills, for the response.

Thanks.  This helped paint a picture for me.

This is really pretty simple. Treat this like a party where you don't know people, and you're probably using an alias. Where you want to go from there depends on how you read the situation.

that guy, The Village Idiot, to respond here suggesting he was some kind of M&G expert and was "going to give me all kinds of advice but decided against it because I used an alias"...well, that was just lame.

Whatever.

 I am an expert, and I am sure many here will know who i am.  Lame, not at all.  If you have time, think about it!

  Expert Idiot