My twist on 50 Shades of Grey as told through the eyes of a hobbyist.   A romantic, sexually charged escapade that will keep you wanting more.  Here goes and feel free to add to the story line:

As the hobbyist gently cascades his dirty, cigarette stained fingers across the iPad, he notices something.  Yes, an Eros ad with the most beautiful, angelic woman he has ever seen.  Although her face was blurred, her measurements were crystal clear.  He screams a Keith Jackson, "Whoa nelly"!   The urge to masterbate is just too intense and distracting.  Expanding the images of her breasts, legs, and crotch on the iPad with such passion, he rubs one out.  A sense of guilt and pleasure starts to settle into his being.  But that quickly fades and he moves on to the next search for the woman of his dreams.

Feeling completely lost in his emotional need to save money and get laid, does he dare? He does!  He enters the Back Pages on the web.  The search does not take long because there were some scrolling ads so our lover just clicked on one of them at random.  Blood pressure rising, he makes that critical phone call.

"Hello, is this Go Ham ?, he asks.  "This is Gray.  I saw your ad on bp.".  Go Ham responds, "Hi Sweetie.".  Her words cast a spell on him.  So eloquent and truthful her voice is like that of a 60 year old smoker in a 30 year old body.  

Feeling nervous about being rejected, Gray goes for it!  "What's your schedule like in the next few hours"?  Well, babe, it's wide open".  Not knowing what to do next, Gray calmly says, "I will text when I get closer to your general area."

Rushing to get out of the apartment, he skips taking a shower because he took one yesterday so why bother.  A splash of English Leather and he is ready to go have some kinky fun with the woman of his dreams from Back Page.

He arrives at her incall location.......