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There is no good outcome out of this mess you made.  You can grovel, begging
for forgiveness till the end of your days; or say, fuck it, and go on and do what
you want to do.  My sense is you'll be miserable whatever you do.

Tell her I did it

I'll be glad to take the fall for you and say it was me using your computer and browsing those sites. However you'd have to treat me to a provider of course.

my briefcase and motorcycle saddlebags for evidence while I napped on the living room couch. Today it is through our oversights in our digital cyber communications.

Old skool or 'New'; female behavioral pathologies are timeless. Possibly because male behavioral pathologies are also timeless.

was at least worth it.

Pretty bad situation but , in the long run , irrespective of what the future might hold, in these situations honesty is the best course of action.

Good luck and hope things work out for the best,  

you were not emotionally involved. "It was just sex, honey, and I still love you."

And why the fuck didn't you password protect your phone?!!!

instead of trying to find help here and getting possibly more caught up, you should be looking for either a counselor (god knows we all need it) or a lawyer (if you don't already have one).


It is already a day later so I don't know if you should even be on this site looking for advice with all your troubles at this point.


good luck.

That's the risk all the guys with SOs take. No matter how careful one is, one day a mistake is made.

I don't know when you'll be speaking to your wife, but maybe you can profess being a sex addict and start getting help for it.  Not sure what else you can do besides getting a good lawyer.

Lessons learned from your mistake

What's in your email? If you follow the rules of not mentioning anything about money or sex then you may be able to deny everything by claiming nothing happened yet, it's all virtual, you were only flirting, you were curious, etc.

What I learned:
1. Get a separate PC & hobby phone.
2. Password protect PC & phone.
3. Get a separate hobby email account.
4. Make sure the email account has a different password.
5. Don't just hit reply with every emails; otherwise, all your conversation will be there if provider also hit reply.
6. Delete all emails and log off when you are done.
7. Never mention anything too incriminating (for LE or SO) in emails.

Best of luck with your situation.

Maybe, some women will not forgive this kind of thing.

If you dont have kids, or they are grown up. Get a good lawyer and try not to loose it all, cause quiye frankly my friend she will try and take as mucn as possible.

You are in for some tough times.  Look on the bright side, this will all be over eventually, then you just het on with your life.

Dude the big questions would be.....

How many years have you been married and what is her income relative to yours?  If you were married over 10 years and make a lot more than she does you can probably look forward to endless years of alimony payments.  On the other hand, if she makes more than you maybe you can get alimony.  Or better yet, point out to her that you don't want her to have to pay alimony to you and that you will fix her up with a hot pool boy type male provider to even the score.  

Make sure you are the one who sets up new home computers.  Make yourself the admin of your home computers.  Make sure everyone has separate user accounts on the computers.  If you don't have the feature already, invest in some screen saver software with password.  Set it up to activate if your computer is inactive for a few minutes and not allow someone back in to that account without the password or rebooting the computer.  

I've been sloppy on occasion.

My wife and I have sex every three months or so.

When she finds out....because she probably will, I will just be honest:

"Sweety, you caused this. Had you been a little less in to the kids, passed on the cheese cake, hit the gym two or three times a week, and didn't have a dried up snatch, none of this would have ever happened. In your next relationship, try to take care of your man."

At that point, I will be calm and will cut off contact with her for a few weeks. Either she will have a divorce lawyer and a psychotherapist or just the psychotherapist. Either way....she is to blame and she will know it. And the psychotherapist will have to hear about it for years.

one of the first outcalls i ever went on was to a guys place.  nice place in newport.  snuck me in the garage, put the dog outside and showed me around his nice, huge, home.  then he led me to his (and his wifes) bedroom.  as he motioned to the bed i thought for sure this would be my last outcall, but i had to refuse.  i told him that i was sorry, but i was not going to fuck him on their bed.  he looked puzzled but stayed there.  i started walking out and asked if there was anywhere we could go in the house.  he said yes and we did our thing downstairs in a spare room.  afterward, i explained to him that if i were in a situation where i found out my hubby was seeing a provider, i might be able to forgive him, since there is no emotional involvement in that.  (fyi, i would also feel partially to blame as to the "why" he would need to see one)  if i were to find out that he saw a provider on MY BED...well, there would be no discussion...he would be outta there.  lol

i would explore your reasons as to why you do this, and be honest with her.  offer counseling (chicks are suckers for that)   whatever you do, try and be as honest as you can and dont be stupid again.

SHIT Happens
I have nice Client

Who SAT IN HIS Iphone
Guess What????  dial his wife
The line stay on for few minutes
Enough for She  heard some..good stuff
well
carfull with Iphones
TURN OFF!!!
CC