live in Orange County, Hobby in LA and Travel extensively for both work and pleasure. From time to time (particularly during the slow season) I have had providers reach out to me to entice me into a date. I was snowboarding up in Mammoth over the holidays when I received an invitation from someone I had only heard whispers of previously and knew very little about. I had tried to reach out to her a few times in the past through a 3rd party but with no response – Then, out of the blue, I get an email inviting me for a date. I was driving home the next day and could easily divert through LA so I figured ‘why not’.
   I explained to her the condition I would probably be in after riding in the morning and then powering 5 hours in the car – she just laughed and said she was up for it. I woke up early, found my powder stashes and bolted out of there. My friends were tripping but I told them the forecast looked bleak and I was out. I made it to LA in 4 ½ hours and rolled to her in-call looking and smelling like a dead Opossum with my outerwear still on. I grabbed my backpack and headed in (thinking there was a 50% chance she would turn me around when she saw me).
   She opened the door all smiles, gave me a big hug and sent me to the showers. She was so hot, I should have felt a little intimidated but there was something more there that I could feel and it made me really chill and relaxed… So, I dropped my Orange envelope on the table and proceeded to shower. When I got out of the shower, she had food prepared and was like “you must be hungry after the day you’ve had”. The food was amazing and the Corona’s tasted insane (did I mention the big bucket of Coronas? After we ate I brushed my teeth and while I was coming out she asked what I wanted to do. She seemed chill so I thought I would suggest something INSANE! Me - Hey, I just recently got hooked on Homeland, Do you have Showtime. Her answer – Yes let’s jump in bed and watch it, what’s it about?  
   Through our pervious communication I learned she was a very intelligent girl - VERY intelligent. As we were headed to the bedroom I saw she was reading King Leopold's Ghost - which I had recently finished and I had only told a few people I had read and loved. I asked her about it and other books that she had read and she was so spot on – it was scary…
   Most providers who don’t know me would be twitching at this point thinking “don’t you like me?” ‘Why aren’t we fucking yet?” but she was 100% into Homeland and just the perfect companion. Halfway through the 2nd episode I reached over and we started kissing. The only way I can describe what happened next is that we made passionate love for the next 50 minutes. When we were finished – we carried on watching Homeland, talking about life and sapping Coronas…
   Next thing I know, I am waking up at 1145pm with her laying next to me engrossed in Homeland and still sipping on a Corona. She doesn’t say a word but reaches over and puts her hand on my chest, kisses me, then we are at it again. I crawled out of her place at close to 2am – kissing her goodbye like we were college lovers and trying to convey to her how impressive I thought she was. I drove home and was in bed by 3am. The next morning I wake up to an email from her saying what a great time she had and how she wanted to have another date as soon as possible and that she had feelings for me…
   I hit her back with – “What would it cost to take you SUPing or surfing for the whole day?” She replied – “Have you looked through your backpack yet?” I thought – Oh shit my whole life is in there, I’m probably fucked! I went out to my car and grabbed my backpack and when I went through it – the only unordinary thing was my orange envelope that I had left on her table at the start of the date was in my backpack’s front pocket along with the $2500 that was in it with a sticky note saying she had such a good time she could not accept and would not accept in the future. I emailed her – “Hey that was yours!” “WTF”. She just hit me back with – “So when are we going surfing?” along with a few insights on King Leopold's Ghost…
   I set the date for later this week but am tripping a bit – could there be such perfection out there for me or is this something else? Does she also posses my dark side? It’s like she was already in my mind and heart before I even met her. I will not review or reveal her as I do not feel like seeing your stories about how you guys fucked her every which way or had her role play in a Little Bo Peep outfit…  

I'm glad you had fun but this is the most humblebrag thing I've read in my entire life  

Really????  

thought you were taking time off..

LOL
That sound a awesome trip!!  
 Is... LSD  ?still around LO

He is though....erotic fiction doesn't count

She was a NCNS on the surfing trip.  Unbeknownst to the young handsome prince was that her wicked step mother and sisters had secreted her away in their dark and dank dungeon.  So  heartbroken was the prince that he vowed to search high and low for his beautiful unnamed escort love of his life.   But how to locate her?  As luck would have it, he found her cherished silver and glass dildo in his backpack next to the envelope she had so faithfully and lovingly returned.  He soon set out on his quest, making dates with every lady in the land.  As soon as they were disrobed he applied the manic dildo to see if it was the right fit.  How surprised was he when he found that it fit so many of these fine ladies.  In fact it fit all of them!  How lucky is that!

back the money because you are such an awesome stud in bed?  Happens to me all the time.  Lo

That sounds like she basically ripped you off by not giving you $1000 or more of her own money.....

I like this better than the "Dear Penthouse" explanation.  "Fantasy" has a much nicer ring to it than "Fake."  Lol

Is that she gave you the whole $2500 back without taking out for the beer.  Doesn't sound like any woman I've met.

Lol.  I don't know how familiar you are with internet memes but his story reminded me of them

OMG...LSD and many other shit that "tank" took caused his delusions. This one and his other one about banging his friend's daughter gotta be his signature writing! It's like providers telling you that you are their #1 client and the session today is comp...WTF??

....in the movie Grand Torino..."what a load of shit!

...am laughing my ass off with this entire post.  Hilarious!!

Seriously, you never got a comp session?  You're not doing it right.

So Mr. GOLDEN COCK does this mean you crossed over to the provider side ? Will she review now? Are you going to whitelist her?

when you said she fucks in a Little Bo Peep outfit, most of us know who she is.  She also offers a double with a sheep, right?

And by the way tank is one of those guys who carries loads of cash to go snowboarding/skiing so that by chance he can have this incredible hook up...shit is really piling up on his d*ck

Just checked Victoria Baker's reviews, she seems very nice and whitelisted almost every guy who left her a good review except Mr. Tank.

lol

"You've got to allow a man his illusions" from Cahill, US Marshall.

Yes it is but you are not allowed to talk about it in a post...

Yep - but still looking at my email...

Don't believe it if you chose not to - I could car less...

You are an annoying little twerp - just STFU...

I am surprised to learn that you are very serious about this story.  I thought you were just to entertain everybody here.  Maybe I was wrong.

No, You were right...

You bring it in the hooker's apartment with 2500 cash, leave it un watched with a woman you've just met because what, you don't want to leave it in your car?  
Okay,  
But then you say the next day you have to "run out to my car" to check said backpack to make sure you 2500 cash is still there?  Huh?
Really ????

Yeah, we'll just leave the trolling to you kid

You bring it in the hooker's (I wouldn't have been there if we hadn't already "connected" while communicating and that's a douchey way to refer to these ladies) apartment with 2500 cash (The cash was hers it was in an envelope - I left the rest of my money in the glove box of my car and yes I always bring my backpack), leave it un watched with a woman you've just met (Yes) because what, you don't want to leave it in your car (No - Because if we hit it off I want to share my life with her a little)?  

You do whatever you want... I could care less.

...that victoria hasn't tried for me.

Ha!!

tank never mentioned victoria.

can't afford to fly there.  but would love to see her.  she's one of my "if i was a millionaire i would..." bucket list hotties.

Probably because it's my one review but I don't think it's fair to bring VB into it - As you say she is irrelevant  

I brought VB into this.  I apologize.