saying practice makes perfect! That means seeing more ladies.

First and foremost if you are interested in truly pleasing a woman during an intimate session and making her feel good, it all starts with open communication. Verbal communication is a great way to discover her likes and dislikes... Simply ask. Learn to become more aware of her body signals, sounds and changes in her breathing. Read books, practice different positions, educate yourself as much as possible on how to be a better lover in general.  
Keep in mind, however, your views on wanting to please a woman during an intimate session are not extremely common in the hobbying world. For many men who hobby, their session is about them, and most good provider's will do their best to make sure that the session is primarily focused on him since truly that's whats the majority prefer. Communicating your desire to have a session that primarily focuses on her, therefore should  be something you mention at the beginning of the session.  
You may want to find a provider that you have great chemistry with, that you can enjoy practicing new techniques with, and who will be reciprocal in helping teach you how to become a better lover.  
All women are different, and therefore the essence of all women varies from person to person. What one woman may love in the bedroom, another may not....  
Just express yourself openly, be willing to trying new things and you will be surprised at what an amazing lover you can become in no time at all...

I have had the pleasure to making friends with some outstanding men! The one thing that I appreciate is when there is a mutual aggressive and submission affect. The reason I say this is because the aggressive part is for us to show the other what we enjoy or how we are able to give pleasure. The submissive part is to take in the pleasure that is being offered by your partner. With having a limited time frame to know what one enjoys most I feel giving and receiving equally is important. I love to experience the big O's as much as I enjoy giving them

Wow, such a good question!

To begin with, the essence of a woman is something that volumes have been written about. I don't know that there is any one simple answer to that question. However as far as intimacy with a lady is concerned, I feel that it is paramount that you look upon her as a real person who has ideas, hopes, fears, etc. Too often, some men only look at the lady as a sex object. Tap into her mind with conversation, questions, and a bit of understanding. If you do, you will find your session with her to be most rewarding. Ciao!