Soft, classy, romantic. Even some electronic music is ok as long as it has a melody. But the music should be at the right volume, almost like background music, just loud enough to realize there is music playing.
surprisingly Bjork was an really good selection during an SUPER erotic session I had with Eve. That set me off on a quest to find a great soundtrack. My now favorite is Samantha James. Ultimate fantasy for me would be a girl reenacting this video
.....songs geared towards "sexy time"/making love, some instrumentals too (from r&b and jazz). And I never keep it on a volume so loud it's distracting us from our conversation and everything else.
I had a May-December romance when I was 21 with an older woman, and we had amazing sex to Depeche Mode's "Violator". If that album doesn't set the mood, then you might as well play some ABBA or Yanni or something.
I saw a provider a few years ago, who played Massive Attack's "Mezzanine" album in the background. A dark, erotic experience from start to finish.
The only negative would be if the music ends up being a distraction instead of a mood setter. One provider paid too much attention to the T-Pain and Pitbull videos playing on a hotel room TV than on me. Same with the death metal and that screamo stuff, serious overkill.
I think the best thing to do (if possible) is to find out what the provider's taste in music is and put together a mix CD in advance for the session, and for her to keep. I did that for a girl who was into Dead Can Dance, Nick Drake, and some of the downtempo and dubstep stuff. It's extra work, but it's worth it.
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