lately, every time I visit a provider I throw out one cup of coffee and then we sit on the bed and pillow talk for the next half hour about the crush who dumped me. LOL!!
can you believe that? I'm sure you've been where I am right now... but probably in high school... but me? i'm unable to "GET OVER IT, already!"
unable to get over a girlfriend who fucked like no one else, who talked dirty like no one else, who fell in love with me and let me fall in love with her. who fucked and fucked and fucked me so good that now life seems over.
the only problem was that we're both married. but for months we were making out in bars and and hiding in parked cars... once she straddled me while we drove down hollywood boulevard f*cking me at 2am and she gave a thumbs up to the smiling cops.
we had phone sex so vivid and crazy it was like it was real... she used to put me in her a*s so deep and then text me about it in ways that would make Tiger blush. no shit, yeah no shit.
and she used to pole dance for me. she wasn't a stripper, she just danced for fun... took classes and then showed me what she knew. wtf?
and we used to cry. we used to call each other and shed big crocodile tears so hard. we used to cry in those same bars too. cry like spoiled brats, like poor kids, cry with such love I've never known.
but she didn't want to leave her husband, she was afraid to hurt him... he's older than she. and i'm a washed up bum. she was too hot to handle and it got too exhausting (even tho she tried) but she was a dream. and my wife? well, my wife doesn't fuck me, she doesn't even kiss right. who am i? ...FML.
so i'm airing it out. i'm telling everyone about the love i felt... so no other provider will hear my sob story. thanks for listening, if you're still reading, thanks.
I've been in this position too, and wasted years of my life being stupid and sulking/feeling sorry for myself. Pretty much everyone I know has been in this position, and wasted years of their lives being stupid/sulking and feeling sorry for themselves.
Best advice I've heard from people who have been in this position, for people who find themselves in this position: go fuck 10 other women. Works for civilians, and really works for hobbyists. Just do it. For half of a month's salary, probably less than you pay in rent in a month, you can put yourself in a position to totally not give a damn, and you'll wake up at some point and think "wait a minute- wtf am I doing moping? This is great!" and get on with your life.
Don't waste years; get over it in a month, or two. The most precious thing we have is time, and it's amazing how fast it goes away.
No matter how many hookers I fuck with each escort I realize there is nothing that comes even close to the girl I love.
The problem is when two people can't be together. Both parties are married as he said. She's married to an older guy with money who she won't leave and he's a bum with no money and married to a woman who won't fuck or kiss him.
It's possible his wife is fucking someone else. It's possible her older husband is heavy in this hobby or fucking some hot younger girl.
Regardless both parties refuse to take a jump for love. So they'll grow old and die regretting what could have been.
My advice is to plan a get away. Don't tell your spouses. Just set a date and plan to escape to somewhere where you both can find simple jobs and just be together for the rest of your lives. Like in the caribbean. Then on that day just leave.
Anything else is just too much pain.
Imagine how many guys in this hobby are regretting the girl they let get away. Imagine how many providers are regretting the guy they let get away?
Your story could be mine except that only one of us was married. Otherwise, I could have written the same post.
The bottom line is I wasted five years "mourning" for a relationship that was long over. She got married and I moved out of state. But I couldn't let it go, nor could I date other women without comparing all of them with her. And guess what- none of them measured up, which just added to my malaise. Of course, they were great women too, but I couldn't love any of them.
Years later, I'm embarrassed to admit how long I let the memory of this relationship fuck up my life. It was all in my head and it was all for naught. Carrying on like this was the dumbest thing I've ever done, so please don't go down that road.
I am lamenting for you on your reply. your story seems very personal and epic... and I appreciate you sharing. it makes me feel some kinship.
a few weeks ago I met up with an old friend of mine from grad school, a girl who I never even made out with but we always had a deep connection... and we finally fucked like monkey's in her silver lake mansion... and even after I was cumming in her mouth like a champ and telling her a story that made her cum like she hadn't in years (as she reported) I didn't feel the same vibe.
I think I can relate. I'm glad you spoke up and shared. you made the grip on my heart life a little. crazy.
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