So just for some fun... what is the weirdest thing or situation you've ever encountered?

How about being handcuffed by two LAPD Vice cops at an incall location in Van Nuys on a certain "high holy day" and having these thoughts run through my mind, "I am certainly going to miss services today," and "maybe I can kill my self by throwing myself off of this third floor balcony." And then hear one  cop say, "Haven't I arrested you before? You look very familiar."


-- Modified on 5/7/2010 7:31:46 AM

who I had seen several times in my travels. I was with her one evening, and she asked how long I would be in town. I told her, and she asked if I'd like to have breakfast on Sunday morning, just breakfast, nothing more. I said that I'd love to, and where whould she like to go. She said that she'd like to cook, and we would be having breakfast at her apartment. I drove her home, so I knew where she lived, then showed up for breakfast on Sunday morning.

She answered the door wearing her little Suzy-Homemaker apron, but what she had neglected to mention was her family. She promptly introduced me to her small son, and her very large husband. I'm not talking about Jackie Gleason kind of large...I'm talking about Hulk Fucking Hogan kind of large. I weigh about 160 lbs. As he reached out to shake my hand, all I could think of to say was "My, isn't this awkward"? He just chuckled, agreed, and told me that she had never invited one of her friends over before.

As it turned out, we sat and talked for a few hours, and got along very well. We had a lot of things in common, including fucking his wife. Although, when I left, I did notice that my legs were still shaking.

Wow!  That's crazy.. just trying to get to know the gents on the board.

So, I saw this young lady not long after I moved to L.A. and had a marvelous time. She mentioned her sister also provided. So, being the deviant fella that I am, I decided a week or so later to call and make a date with said sister. I arrived as they were decorating their Christmas tree. I said "hi" to the lady I'd seen before and got a cold look and a swift "hi" back. Her sister and I adjourn to the bedroom and we're in the middle of a certain position when sis walks in and says "How dare you?" Me, hoping that this would lead to sister-sister-me sex (hope really does spring eternal), just smile and keep on doing what I was doing. Sis walks to the bed and smacks her sister in the face. Suddenly there's this famiy cat-fight going on and I'm on the bed, hard-on at the ready hoping (a) I still get laid somehow and (b) this doesn't turn ugly and someone, especially me, gets hurt. After a bit, the lady I was with flees the room and sis climbs in bed and says "I told you what would happen if you saw her!" And I do the old mental "uh-oh, what did I miss when I was here last." and say "I think you have me confused with someone else!" I know, it sounds lame. Sis just gives me a look and says "right" and drops her mouth on my cock. I figure what the hell and I finish what I started with the first lady. Sis says "I know you said you're new town, so if you want someone to show you around, give me a call." I'm both flattered and a bit nervous thinking maybe I've landed in the cuckoo patch. As I leave, first sister is back decorating the Christmas tree as if nothing occurred. I never called either one again knowing it would most likely lead to emergency room visits sometime in the future.

And then there was the time a lady spread yogurt on my balls and wanted her cat to lick it off. But, that's a story for another day.

Where I work, I supervise student employees, some of whom are quite attractive. A couple of years after one in particular had graduated, I traveled to another city for some research for a book I was working on and made an incall appointment through a local agency. Well, when I got there, to make a long story short, I discovered my "date" was my former employee, who was providing to work her way through grad school. After a few uncomfortable moments and quite a bit of nervous laughter (and realizing we both knew each other's secret), we decided we were both willing to go through with it and carried out the session.

Which is nice, because I had always fantasized about her, anyway.

Hope you are joking!  If not, wow, that sucks, and not in a good way.

I had booked a 2 hour with a girl I had seen a few times before but a couple of years had passed since I had last visited her.

I got to her place and she looked hot but was acting very strange. I put the money on the night stand and started to take of my clothes. She kept trying to manipulate where I was standing and kept looking at the corner of the ceiling in her room.

I noticed a camera and decided to get the hell out of dodge. She stepped on my clothes to prevent me from getting dressed. I knew better then to touch her or force her off my clothes so I went to the dresser and took back my money she followed me and so I had time to grab my clothes. I threw a couple of the 100's on the ground to pay for the little amount of her "time" that I spent with her.

I was naked and she was naked but I left into the hallway of her highrise appartment and she followed me out. Her door slammed behind and I could tell by her eyes that the door automatically locked behind her.

I ran ahead of her and went into the stairwell a I went up a flight of stairs just so I wouldn't risk rideing in the same elevator as her.

After I slowly got dressed I took the elevator down to the lobby. When I opened the door she was naked in the lobby and talking to the security guy of her building. He came after me and I told him if he touched me or tried to stop me I would call the cops. He let me go.

What a sight - seeing her naked in the lobby of her $3500 per month apratment building.

Don't know if it classifies as weird or just different but I got a great BBBJNQNS from a young lady while I was in Jerusalem ... met her for a drink, we hit it off and decided to go to her place because it was closer.  On the way the touching and kissing got pretty heated and she grabbed me and went around the corner into an alley. She had mentioned earlier that she didn't swallow so was very pleased when she did.  I casually mentioned that I didn't expect that and she said "Well, I normally wouldn't with a client but we were on the opposite side of the Wailing Wall and didn't think it'd be appropiate to spit on the ground"!

Several years ago I had a very enjoyable evening session with a beautiful young lady and after we finished I had to pee very badly. I entered her small dark bathroom turned to my right to turn on the light to take aim at the toilet and when I looked down there was a huge very muscular pitbull on the floor by the toilet with his snout literally inches from my still aroused member. I froze and screamed. She assured me he was harmless but I couldn't relieve my self until after I made the 40 minute drive home. I learned that night the true meaning of having the piss scared out of me....or into me as it were

In 1978 I had picked up a SW and took her back to her room in a fleabag on Cahuenga called the Hollywoodland Motel.

She gave a particularly good BBBJTCIMNSNQ + swallow, and I was a particularly horny boy in his prime in those days. But just as my orgasm hit, and my ejaculation began, her pimp opened the door and just walked right in, she jumped up off my cock and damned if my money shot didn't hit him in the face.

It could have gotten really ugly, but fortunately for me, the pimp was a crackhead half my size, and a loaded pipe was on the nightstand. I grabbed my clothes and ran naked as a fucking jaybird to my car and got the Hell outa there.

And now you know why Doctor Gonzo has incall-phobia.

Thanks to all for participating lol it was very enjoyable reading your responses!  A cat, yogurt.. balls?  WTF? LMFAO... we all have to hear that story!  

Hope everyone's week is going well.. will post another thread soon.

Andrea