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Re: Cause & causality!
redldresq 44 Reviews 139 reads
posted

Thanks, casino.  My thoughts are that she is too good of a provider to just up and do this to a client unless there is a good reason so I am going to go with some advice from a friend of mine "be nice but be persistent."  So, I'll give it a few days and then get in touch with her again to see what happens.  Thanks for the advice, btw

Hi, ladies. Question for all of you. I recently arranged to meet a well reviewed provider. She responded promptly to my e-mail yesterday and after a few e-mails back and forth we spoke on the phone to arrange something for later this week. I really liked her personality on the phone and was looking forward to our encounter. Then, last night, I get an e- mail saying she has to cancel because of an emergency trip.  I have absolutely no problem with that, things happen but I asked in a reply e- mail if we could reschedule and have heard nothing. I thought the screening went fine but is she basically blowing me off and I should move on or try again?  Kinda confused.

If she has an emergency trip to attend to,  that probably means that she's also too busy with other pressing matters to respond to e-mails right away.  I wouldn't think much of it.  Give her a couple of days to take care of what ever she needs to, and then if you haven't heard back from her send her another e-mail or phone call.  If you then get no response I would start the search for somebody else.

Well, I'm just joken withya, but you never know. Good chance it has nothing to do with you.

LOL . . . Yeah I read it but I can happily say it does not and has never applied to me. We set the date so I don't think it was a screening issue and I am easily verifiable through my profession and the Internet.  I guess the only thing bothering me was the lack of response.  Anyway hope she gets back soon so I can see if we can set another date but it could be like aupair said, just too busy to reply. At least I hope that's what it was.

Call me a cynical type, but I am often skeptical of these last minute "emergencies". At least to the provider's credit, she gave you a one day heads up, so that you still had some time to arrange for another date on the following day which would have been your original date day.

The cause: point being that whatever the reason for the cancellation, it will simply drive you bonkers trying to think about the cause of it! Learn not to focus on merely one provider and keep in the back of your mind that this kind of stuff happens (getting stood up) and as long as you conducted yourself with great manners and integrity, just thank her via email for spending the time communicating with you and wish her well with her "emergency" and future endeavors. If she gets back to you after a few days, then decide for yourself as to whether you wish to re-schedule. If not, do not cheapen yourself by chasing her.

The causality: IMO, she did you and another provider huge favor! Remember that when one provider decides not to see you for whatever reason as long as the reason is not display of creepiness or bad behavior emanating from you, then another door opens to you as you are no longer transfixed solely on one provider (do you think that they go around all day thinking about one client that they have not even met?)  IMO, the correct attitude and discipline in here is to concentrate on the causality of this event, i.e, find a willing provider, do your homework and spend your $$$ with someone who is both willing and able to see you. If you wish to give her a second chance, then fine, as I do believe in second chances and redemption, but you'd be a fool to chase her.

BTW, my advice also applies to the providers who get stumped by certain clients. Casino's advice is always a 2-way street ;)

Thanks, casino.  My thoughts are that she is too good of a provider to just up and do this to a client unless there is a good reason so I am going to go with some advice from a friend of mine "be nice but be persistent."  So, I'll give it a few days and then get in touch with her again to see what happens.  Thanks for the advice, btw

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