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oceanpacific9 53 Reviews 435 reads
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You know I am the greatest lover ever, they can't get enough of me and beg for my phone number so they can give it to me for free. To review I am hung like a horse (which they love), I give them endless pleasure O after O after O, I can go for hours (pound) I am irresistable after all, they beg for CIM. How many of these reviews have we seen. And then I am going to give an average review. A-holes for sure.

General Colon Bowel1213 reads

I've read hundreds of reviews over the years and keep seeing the same lines popping up over and over again.  Here are the top 3 on my annoying list.....

1.  We kissed like highschoolers.

No you didn't.  A provider jamming her tongue in your mouth and going through the motions is nothing like kissing in high school.  Most high school girls haven't had their tongue up some guys ass or swallowed a load 30 minutes before kissing you.

2.  I returned the favor.

What favor?  Giving daty to a provider after she's given you a blowjob is a favor?  This girl gets her pussy eaten by dozens of guys a week.  The only favor you could do for her is keep your mouth out of there.

3.   She gave me the best blowjob I've ever had.

Really?  You remember all the blowjobs you've had in your life and the one you just got matched the intensity and feeling of the first few blowjobs you got when you were 17?  Wow.  You haven't had much sex in your life.


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RTowers653 reads

When I still hobbyedthey were all good.  Now that I no longer dabble, I think I remember how good they were....

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BigPeterJohnson564 reads

...is still better than no blow job at all!

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artandmusic447 reads

I have to disagree with this one... I still cringe when I recall an experience a couple of years ago with a provider.  She was literally scraping her teeth on my cock, it was brutal (and I would humbly state I am of *average* size- at best, lol).  I had to ask her, no beg her, to stop.  

I will agree that a good blow job - at that moment - is the best blow job I've ever had.  

cheers

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dantananot692 reads

treat her right, guys (those of you who need to be told this are scum)

...tore off the cover ... (c'mon, i have to delicately peal it off or get the shit scratched out of my pecker)

breasts were rock hard ( is that good?)

several O's (damn you're good)

etc

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Harpman60785 reads

review is the sadistic tone of the reviewer who seems to take satisfaction in being a misogynist sadist inflicting pain on the provider.

Posted By: General Colon Bowel
I've read hundreds of reviews over the years and keep seeing the same lines popping up over and over again.  Here are the top 3 on my annoying list.....

1.  We kissed like highschoolers.

No you didn't.  A provider jamming her tongue in your mouth and going through the motions is nothing like kissing in high school.  Most high school girls haven't had their tongue up some guys ass or swallowed a load 30 minutes before kissing you.

2.  I returned the favor.

What favor?  Giving daty to a provider after she's given you a blowjob is a favor?  This girl gets her pussy eaten by dozens of guys a week.  The only favor you could do for her is keep your mouth out of there.

3.   She gave me the best blowjob I've ever had.

Really?  You remember all the blowjobs you've had in your life and the one you just got matched the intensity and feeling of the first few blowjobs you got when you were 17?  Wow.  You haven't had much sex in your life.


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RTowers558 reads

From "pounding" a provider, even when said provider is clearly in pain.  On the other and, I've read many reviews where the hobbyist was genuinely concerned about the provider's discomfort and took sites to alleviate it....

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Harpman60435 reads

The vast majority of guys are decent and respectful but that there are opportunists and bullies who take advantage and violate their partner and betray the perceived  trust that exists between a provider and client.

Posted By: RTowers
From "pounding" a provider, even when said provider is clearly in pain.  On the other and, I've read many reviews where the hobbyist was genuinely concerned about the provider's discomfort and took sites to alleviate it....

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RTowers390 reads

I'm sure these are the same assholes who leave 10% tips and complain that their ice melted too fast in their tap water at lunch....

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UCLA2K4862 reads

"...she was so hot and skilled that she worked me back to life. Unbelievable!"

We get it, you're old. She had the patience to accommodate that fact, and restore some blood flow to your stick. Stop flaunting your oldness. lol :P

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ShillBill516 reads

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perfectstorm341 reads

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MysteryDude542 reads

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rpd1952447 reads

"Better schedule now because her phone's going to be ringing off the hook"

"I will see her again and again"

"Nothing I hate more than writing a bad review, but......."

Or how about those times when the chemistry wasn't there or the dfk was lacking, and the guy needs to tell us it wasn't him because he's fit, good looking and other girls have told you what a greater kisser he is

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artandmusic385 reads

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perfectstorm344 reads

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random133406 reads

But i still find it hilarious when reviewers claim to have given a provider multiple Os. I like a good fantasy as much as the next guy but that stuff belongs with unicorns and Sasquatch.

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vossick449 reads

"she commented on my length and girth". Yeah, right

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Harpman60692 reads

she loves her line of work and enjoys the jobs she is doing" ....sure they do.  

Posted By: General Colon Bowel
I've read hundreds of reviews over the years and keep seeing the same lines popping up over and over again.  Here are the top 3 on my annoying list.....

1.  We kissed like highschoolers.

No you didn't.  A provider jamming her tongue in your mouth and going through the motions is nothing like kissing in high school.  Most high school girls haven't had their tongue up some guys ass or swallowed a load 30 minutes before kissing you.

2.  I returned the favor.

What favor?  Giving daty to a provider after she's given you a blowjob is a favor?  This girl gets her pussy eaten by dozens of guys a week.  The only favor you could do for her is keep your mouth out of there.

3.   She gave me the best blowjob I've ever had.

Really?  You remember all the blowjobs you've had in your life and the one you just got matched the intensity and feeling of the first few blowjobs you got when you were 17?  Wow.  You haven't had much sex in your life.


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Beemer310672 reads

1. Once in a lifetime

2. Model material

Posted By: General Colon Bowel
I've read hundreds of reviews over the years and keep seeing the same lines popping up over and over again.  Here are the top 3 on my annoying list.....

1.  We kissed like highschoolers.

No you didn't.  A provider jamming her tongue in your mouth and going through the motions is nothing like kissing in high school.  Most high school girls haven't had their tongue up some guys ass or swallowed a load 30 minutes before kissing you.

2.  I returned the favor.

What favor?  Giving daty to a provider after she's given you a blowjob is a favor?  This girl gets her pussy eaten by dozens of guys a week.  The only favor you could do for her is keep your mouth out of there.

3.   She gave me the best blowjob I've ever had.

Really?  You remember all the blowjobs you've had in your life and the one you just got matched the intensity and feeling of the first few blowjobs you got when you were 17?  Wow.  You haven't had much sex in your life.


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Muttontownmutt412 reads

Exactumondo! Couldn't have said it better myself.

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bearsTD507 reads

I can't read on if I don't have a vip account anyways so it is a moot comment.

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Beemer310428 reads

That is so true..I will have to remember that....

Posted By: bearsTD
I can't read on if I don't have a vip account anyways so it is a moot comment.

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oceanpacific9436 reads

You know I am the greatest lover ever, they can't get enough of me and beg for my phone number so they can give it to me for free. To review I am hung like a horse (which they love), I give them endless pleasure O after O after O, I can go for hours (pound) I am irresistable after all, they beg for CIM. How many of these reviews have we seen. And then I am going to give an average review. A-holes for sure.

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CKD Haven456 reads

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