A public board is probably not the best place to ask if your character should be judged. My take is that if you feel guilty, you probably have some things to work out in your own mind. If you don't, it's like John Lennon said "whatever gets you through the night, it's alright it's alright."
As for those that may be quick to condemn you, I'd just remind them that the whole hobby subculture - married or not - could also be judged by societal norms, and they wouldn't like that either.
I have been married for a long time and love my wife very much we have sex on a regular basis and am rarely ever denied
Still there are a few kinky things i like that she doesn't do like greek etc. And i also love to make a woman orgasm and see how she looks when she's cumming facial expressions body movments etc. Thats almost as great an experience for me as my own orgasm. So am i a bar person for using providers for these things.
My .02
I have been hobbying only for about 5 months now. Been married for 10 years and I too love my wife with all me heart.
The difference being, I only have sex once or twice a year for the last four years or so. That aint enough!
The guilt slips in every now and again and I do feel bad, but I have found that I actually feel better more of the time than not and thus feel like I have a better marriage now since enjoying all these wonderful ladies that provide what the wife doesn't. These ladies have given me a new lease on life. Something to look forward to.
As for you being a bad person, I don't think any one of us hobbyists can convince you to not feel bad if you feel bad. It's what's in you and your conscience that will determine what you can live with and how you feel. If it bothers you that much, just stop it! (I know, easier said than done) If you can live with it, enjoy!
Excuse me, now I must go search for another fine lady to put into my favorites. That's half the fun!
This post should probably on the General discussion board. I have been married 30 years, worked for since I was 13, have 5 kids that are now adults with 3 in college. My wife is a once a weeker. She picked up a little weight and I didn't, but we are very compatible socially and we love each other. I don't feel bad. I am probably happier now and easier to get along with. I am very dedicated to my family. I feel after 30 years of being with one woman I should be allowed to roam a bit. Kind of liberating. Now I have only been doing this 3 months though.
You're married and you're breaking your promise to the one person you should trust and be trusted by. Of course you're a bad person for doing that. Sorry, you can try to justify it all you want but it's not going to change the facts.
A public board is probably not the best place to ask if your character should be judged. My take is that if you feel guilty, you probably have some things to work out in your own mind. If you don't, it's like John Lennon said "whatever gets you through the night, it's alright it's alright."
As for those that may be quick to condemn you, I'd just remind them that the whole hobby subculture - married or not - could also be judged by societal norms, and they wouldn't like that either.
Did you murder anyone? Steal someone's life savings? Commit armed robbery? Assault?
No, all you do is have some extra-curricular sex once in awhile. You're feeling guilty - which you have to deal with - but in my book, nope, you're A-OK.
Relationships are based on so many variables and anyone who tries to make it black and white really has an overly simplistic perspective on the complexity of human relationships. You obviously have some things to work out in this regard, but I think the only thing I can say that might be of use is that there is no objective right or wrong. If your anxiety is created because you are looking for that, perhaps if you can release the guilt, you can find your own integrity, your own truth, and get your answers there. Good luck. It is complex and important to come to terms with.
Being true and respectful of the women you meet here, and with those in your home is always a good place to start.
Good Luck
O2 out
Short answer ~ no! Live is short .... fuck hard...
Doesn't matter what some strangers on a hobbyists' board think. You need to determine this based on your own values. If you seeking affirmation that you are not "bad", or empathy for your situation, that's not a substitute for what you need to accept responsibility as an adult who is making his own decisions.
... on a lot of things such as: How would you feel if you found out that she had something of her own going on the side? Maybe there is something that she wants but isn't getting at home.
Now as far as being a "bad" person ... I'll take a guess that she doesn't know about you cheating on her. Yes, it is cheating no matter how you want to look at it. Would you want to be married to a liar and a cheat? How do you think your family/friends/co-workers/clients would feel if they found out? If you don't have an open marriage and have agreed to see others - you are a liar and a cheat.
I personally feel that marriage vows are meant to be kept. But that is my opinion. I can't make that decision for you. I was married over 14 years and didn't stray. Thought about it, had more than a few opportunities but still kept my dick in my pants.
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