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Just an idea...regular_smile
NoraDiAngelo See my TER Reviews 945 reads
posted

(Disclaimer: this is inspired by a post that just got pulled by admin. If you didn't see it, all the better. Just know that it was a "blast" from the not-so-distant past, aka a couple of really unnecessary, nasty comments aimed at a lady who doesn't even come to this board anymore.)

In the last few weeks this board has returned to a surprisingly welcoming, nice, supportive tone that many of us enjoy. I would like to see it remain that way, as I think everyone wins when there is a level of civility around. I also see that admin is quick to pull any nasty, flaming posts (the last one in less time than I've ever seen), which is great! :)

My suggestion is that we observe a simple rule: write as if you were speaking to your ATF. The attitude of "I respect you, I think you are a good person and I know your goal is to have a positive impact on my life" is a lot more charming than the combative attitude some have taken on while navigating this board. This applies to the ladies just as well as to the gents, but by nature or upbringing women tend to understand that a little better... (Or am I biased? :) )

I will say this much: if it makes you happy to demean the women you see as "unworthy" of your time, attention, money or who fall outside of what you consider attractive, you may think that you are doing no harm to yourself and "just having fun", but every single lady I've met or talked to keeps a DNS list and when your attitude stinks from miles away, you will surely end up on that list, whether your complaint was right or wrong. None of us wants to willingly spend our time with someone mean-spirited, angry or entitled... And if you think that posting under an alias protects you, think again. It takes about 5-6 posts to trace back your alias to you, unless you can truly change your style, grammar, spelling and vocabulary. I know I've declined to meet more than a few posters here based on their "flaming" of other ladies (alias or not)...  

So be nice, treat other players of "hobbyland" as you'd like to be treated and you will reap the rewards accordingly. ;)

Related Link: http://www.noradiangelo.com

vossick378 reads

Kudos Nora!! Very well said and it could not come at a better time than the "season of giving and receiving". You are special!!

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hardwood35m334 reads

And agree that the board seems to be getting better...

Thanks for posting.

...wood.

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mattradd350 reads

be negative, sometimes corrective, but not negative. I stopped posting on this board, and the general, for a while now,  because there were too many guys who tried to tell everyone else how they should perform in the bedroom, just liked to bust the other guys balls for kicks, or seemed to delight in demeaning the women; so much so that most of them left. Thanks for voice your hopes for this board!

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crazyshit280 reads

Is that it attracts a certain subset of the population who finds their collective identities in a board, in virtual reality.  Maybe they are a little anti-social or strange in real life, but on a board where they can hide behind some screenname or handle, they can be whoever they wanna be.  And then the board starts to have its own little subculture, with little niches and cliques of people.

It becomes a shadow or mirror of real life, but because the consequences of saying something disparaging are muted or nonexistent, the insecurities of some of these people come out when push comes to shove.  It happens all the time, and the boards for ANY interest all seem to display this.

So I will say this:  Treat others with respect, and as you would treat others in real life.  The shortcoming with that advice is that some people just don't have the social skills to interact in real life, and so to those, I would say that just stop at the first half of the statement:  Treat others with respect.

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CaptainRenault384 reads

Wonderful idea/suggestion/plea, Nora Di!  Thanks.  The Cap'n Has Spoken

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Lapl01306 reads

The Noble Peace Prize. (Note spelled different from the one Obama received in Norway.)

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NoraDiAngelo295 reads

But I'm glad to see that many of you guys feel the same way. I know the girls do too. Looking forward to talking to everyone more through this channel. :)

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Carla_capri426 reads

Thanks Nora, for your post.

I too, have recently noticed some changes on this board.

Although I usually do not get involved in threads I consider petty  (they are just not worth my time or effort).  
I do take issue with those who insist on Imposing  their opinions as gospel, while putting down anyone who may have different ideas,    standards and opinions.
We are all different, as to what we want.  

But I also see  complaints from hobbyist.  Although  some complaints might be realistic and fair,
They post  questions and opinions without been cruel
that why we have discussion board..
Problems in this hobby will always exist. nothing is perfect
We can not change the world. It is too much work
So let's attempt to change our little world for the BETTER
Not Worse
So before  post something mean and cruel:
Count 12345678910 have  a Glass of wine
And  Relax

life  is short

Hugs Cc

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Airmobile331 reads

Right On, Carla and Nora.  
Intelligent respectful dialog, especially in disagreement, is always refreshing.
You and Nora would make terrific Conflict Mediators.

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