I feel your pain even though I am a provider. Sometimes it takes more than a donation to separate love and sex but I'm not sure how to deal with emotional situations like this either! Hey, it's nice to be able to feel something real and who's to judge!


-- Modified on 7/7/2011 7:06:25 AM

But be prepared for some tough love.  You can check her out on the Erotic Highway board.

This question  has been asked and answered dozens of times, so at least you know you're not the only one to have flown too close to the sun, only to crash and burn.

Shit happens because we're just men, prune to mistakes. So no need to apologize. but you seem to wake up from your fantasy though half heartedly, so you are on the the road to reality. To the people who will flame you, say i am screwed, so screw back to you!

I did it! Love happens, even when your not looking! We were great together for 6 months............. We are both dealing with our emotions, but it is getting better! It will for you too.... hang in there. For me, she lives in a different city then me so that is helping us - no "I need to see you right now" access! Time will pass and eventually you will be able to move on.

Sorry, but your post was very skimpy on details...so skimpy, in fact, that it would be virtually impossible for anyone to render any meaningful advice to you.

Was the love reciprocated? Over what length of time did this romance continue (a week? a year?) What indications do you have that would lead you to believe she was not using you? Who initiated this romantic relationship? Are there other complications (either or both of you married? A significant age gap?) and in addition to the emotional distress, how much money did you lose on this relationship (gifts, loans, etc.)?

Can you clarifiy what exactly you're wanting advice on!

Be more specific! I can only assume you want to get out of the relationship with your ass in you hands, along with your wallet! But, I could be wrong! Perhaps you are wanting advice on how to get her to marry you!

It's happened to a lot of people.  I personally have a "friendship" with a gal who I met as a provider.  We're both older and been around the block a few times, so we understand the parameters of our relationship, even if unspoken.

I think it just really depends on the situation and how open the individuals are to having a relationship.  In matters of the heart there is no clear navigation, but you have to think about the ramifications that may come out of it -- how it will affect your civvie life, friends, family, can you put aside jealousy - after all, she does have relations with many men, assuming this is her full-time occupation.

You really don't say much about your situation.... hard to give any advice.

I met a lady and we had amazing chemistry right off - after 3 dates - no more donation and we were like teenagers in la-la land... did some dating stuff - movies, dinner - but mostly hobby dates without donation and hours of talking.

Wasn't until she invited me into her real life - the kids, the friends, etc... very obvious we were very different, nothing in common, except the hobby. She cried a little - the magical sex was done, and then I cried a little too. lol (Who knows, maybe I was so flattered that such a hottie really wanted to have sex with me and I turned it into something it was not.)

My Lesson - Don't ruin that magical chemistry and great 'hobby friendship'  with trying to turn it into something else.

Of course, there are exceptions... my current ATF...  LOL

Going down in Flames! Don't ..

Look at  yourself in the mirror. What do you see? I look and see someone who realize a provider is that fantasy fullfilled. Nothing more or less. If she walk out that door tomorrow never seen again. Better to have loved once than not at all.The fantasy continues with me myfriend! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones!

no shame in it. it was great for a while. i have stopped getting to know providers on a personal level since then cause the end just sucked. i stopped seeing an atf for about 4months cause last couple times i saw her we were hanging out for a lot more then the hour i booked, she was cooking, talking about her family, etc. i know it was probably nothing, but better safe then sorry and losing another atf.  fyi, just saw her last week...phenomenal!

Get the book "How to Fall out of Love" by D. Phillips. Follow their exercise and you'll be cured quickly.

I was glad to learn about the erotic highway board.  Very helpful and I didn't ever go there before. Great advice.
And also the book about how to fall out of love seems like a good start.

In answer to some of the other questions:

Yes the Love was reciprocated, in fact she was the one who began the slide down that slippery slope from provider and client to "Love".   It happened over a 2 year time.  No money was involved except in the very beginning, then no more.