I've got a question for the gentlemen and the ladies.  My curious mind wants to know if you like to chat and get to know each other a bit before play begins.  If so, how much time does it take to find some common ground on which to relate to each other?  Obviously it varies from person to person and from situation to situation but in general how much time do you like to spend talking?

Well as a newbie I can honestly say chat helps alot. It's a tough balance though since time is an issue but I'd rather have a good 20 minute chat that makes me comfortable than just getting straight to it. The best play is play with someone you like, not just someone attractive

I enjoy the company of a woman.  At least a half-hour and even an hour.  But I've been so lucky over the past few years where we've chatted for hours before and after our play time!  

to "breaking the ice" and finding out a little about your partner...personally, I like to talk before, during and after play.  As I'm not a mind reader, talking is most useful during play because I want to please my partner as much as be pleased...can't put a timer on it in my case.

Prior to meeting in person, I very much prefer to chat via email,, or talk on the phone.  It gives me a better sense of who I am going to meet, and I am sure the same for the gents.

Well Jennifer, to be honest, I don't hobby for the conversation or a relationship. I can get that or social connections without the financial  transaction.    While I like to connect for a provider, I look for more of a physical connection.  If the girl gets my juices flowing I'm good to go.   This isn't to say I don't get to know a provider at all, but I don't need to know them to play.   I like to start off heavy, like two lovers that can't keep their hands off each other, and save the chat for pillow talk.

@Elle, I'm with you here.  Build the connection ahead of time, make sure you're comfortable, and then you can spend your time together on more physical endeavors.  

and each meeting is different as to the length of time I might spend talking with a lady. Also when we might talk, I've had dates that we started right in with the adult activity and the talking didn't happen until the rest period between rounds 1 and 2. Other times it's talk first than play and I've even had  a few dates where the talking didn't happen until we were getting dressed at the end of the date.

If we can't build a rapport after 30 min then it's probably not going to happen so why waste any more time. Each lady has different talent. Some are just not that good at conversation, but great with other talents.

I would say that good conversation can be a wonderful stimulant, but it depends on how unrushed the session is.  I've had times where there was a good 20-25 minutes of pre-game conversation, but the provider allowed me to go way over the allotted hour.  If the provider is truly sticking to 60 min., then I'd rather get to things sooner than later.

i once saw a lady for (her) minimum of 2 1/2 hours.  however the first half hour was a meeting in the bar at her hotel.  not a bad date, but i certainly didn't expect to be paying for time spent in a crowd.

worse still, she tried to end things about 40 minutes early.  when i called her on it, she tried to explain how she couldn't see the clock from across the room and made a mistake about time.

so, yes, i personally prefer to get to know somebody before teh main event, but otoh i don't expect anything over 5 min or so to be charged to my time allotment.

i would suggest that if you prefer to talk, meet the gentleman at a coffee shop near your place for a brief interlude off the clock right before your date?  just a suggestion, if it makes you feel better it would probably make him feel better too.

You can always chat and play while enjoying your session hour or hours. Besides there is nothing better than me sitting in your lap listening to you.

Lovelee

Get to know people on the board. Chat with the ones that intrigue you. Then see the ones that spark  that raw passion!

Then talk to your hearts delight on the bottom half of the hour while you two are covered in sweat and can't move a muscle.  

-- Modified on 11/30/2012 9:55:06 AM

I never forget that I am with another person, who has feelings and thoughts and their own interesting life. Yes, it's definitely a purchase I am making, but that hardly makes it right to treat my provider as an automaton. I only wish that chat wasn't 'on the clock' (but I don't imagine these girls are visiting me for my conversation either...)

sounds like a plan!  if you wear that school girl skirt!  i'll tell you a story!

I like to get to know a lady first and that is why I like the meet and greets and other social gatherings. Most questions one may have can usually be answered in person.

Chat reduces any anxieties and makes it more of a date.  There are time I just want to stick in her and leave as well.

I like to chat and get to know the woman generally.  However, I just had the most incredible experience with an awesome woman.  The chemistry was immediate and the passion was intense.  We obviously talked alot during the time.  But, whether true or not I don't know, there seemed to be an immediate connection that I had not experienced before.  I guess it totally depends on the situation and chemistry, which is very important to me personally.

And 90% of the gents that I end up meeting love to chat about life, and so do I. The other 10% would rather not talk too much... Or at all. It took me a while to develop the skill to be able to tell when I'm dealing with someone who would rather skip the actual "date", as many have a good poker face... In retrospect I wonder what they were thinking when I tried my best to keep the conversation going... I was trying to make them comfortable, but they probably thought I was "stalling", which must have made them uncomfortable if anything. Live and learn. Now I communicate much more clearly what my style is and how our date will go, and I find that most men know exactly what they want, so if they prefer to cut to the chase, they look for girls who are known to do that, and if they would rather take it easy and soak in the experience, they contact those of us who enjoy doing that. I am known to not watch the clock, so I don't think anyone is worried about "not getting their money's worth" or that I will talk the night away and leave at a certain hour...

In my experience, there is a huge difference between an evening that feels like a first date and one that feels like a "session" where you are paid to "perform" on cue. I find that the first scenario involves some really interesting conversation as follow-up to our emails, some flirting, innuendo, building up the tension to an almost explosive level, and that makes for an experience I enjoy a lot more, so I tend to stay an extra hour or two to bask in the after-glow and hopefully get more excitement... I think everyone wins with that one.

The second option, hmmm, I've done it and sometimes even enjoy it, but it is definitely not my preference and I usually leave right on time, because I am never 100% relaxed and comfortable feeling like I'm "performing" for a stranger, envelope or not. I will give my best "performance" but I'm a living-breathing woman, and an emotional one at that, so I will always treat my date as he treats me. A great BFE will get the best GFE he's ever seen, while someone who's after that "bang for a buck" will get the best "performance" I can master... Both men will leave very satisfied, but a real gentleman will know the difference.

Maybe five minutes, as we are getting undressed.

I think a connection should be made via phone, text and email BEFORE you walk in the door.  I usually book a few days in advance for logistical reasons (provider needs to check out references), and so there is time to email and communicate back and forth.  The provider and I should have had some ample time  to heat things up mentally before we actually meet.

I don't mind a little natural conversation when we first meet, but that should be minimal, because the groundwork has already been laid (no pun intended).