Having been totally stood up or canceled at the last minute by three different providers for my last three appointments (the last one sending me an email an hour before our meeting claiming that  "situations have come up") , I thought it might be an interesting exercise to speculate what those "situations" might be:

1. Her dog ate her double-sided dildo (better than catching Fido using it on the neighbor's Peckingese.)
2. Her genital sores are still visible.
3. She ran out of Tampax.
4. Another hobbyist offered her $5 more.
5. She realized that she's 25 and not 20 pounds over her last posted photo.
6. Her husband insisted that she stay home with the kids at least one hour a week.
7. She realized that she was already falling in love with you from your provider references and couldn't handle the emotional commitment.
8. She's playing hard to get and thinks you'll pay her double her rate the next time.
9. She was bringing another provider and they got too distracted with each other to see you.
10.  She decided at the last minute to renounce her life of sin and become a real "Catholic schoolgirl" since she already has the uniform!

If you got stood up three times in a row by the last three girls you tried to see, have you considered, maybe it's you!

I wish I had thought of that. Providers are always reliable and professional. I once heard that a provider actually used a photo that wasn't hers or was even a little out of date. Can you imagine? But it was probably the fault of the guy who ordered her.

You could write for Letterman.  

That has never happened to me three times in a row, but it has happened three times in the past year or so.  The reasons I got were:  Aunt Flo visiting, sick, and just too tired.  Yeah, one lady said, "I'm just too tired tonight, can we do this tomorrow night instead?"  She sounded exactly like every girlfriend I've ever had, so of course I said OK.  

That's the GFE, just 3 months into the relationship...  

3 in a row??

I never said none of them are flakes or all of them are professional. But 3in a row? That's either the worst string of bad luck...or it's you. Looking in the wrong place? Not doing the proper research? Or setting off some bad vibes.
Just saying.

Thx.

Very funny.

Best DOA provider story: Girl shows up at my gf's and my over-priced BH hotel room after multiple calls that she's running an hour late from three different freeways, so obviously three different bookers, all pretending to be her. Whatever, as long as she gets her before check out time the next day.

The photo of the provider my girlfriend and I ordered looks like Scarlet Johansson (maybe it is her!)
Dora the Explorer shows up claiming to be the girl in the photo. I bring her over to the mirror, hold "her" iPhone photo up to her face.  I tell her I'm calling (the real) Scarlet to inform her that there's a provider in L.A. pretending to be her. Believing me, the provider admits she's a different girl. In fact she claims that she's never seen the photo the agency is using for her. She just gets a call to show up at an address.

I thank her for wasting our time and "escort" her out. Two minutes later, her "driver" bangs on the door insisting that I pay her. He starts threatening me.

I tell him that I'm calling hotel security unless he and Dora leave in the next 30 seconds. Just because my kid's a fan of her TV show doesn't mean we have to sleep with her - and pay for it.

He finally leaves. My gf and I are too freaked out to have sex with even each other. We order a great bottle of wine with the money we saved, and swear never to go through this again.

Next time, I tell my gf, "pick up some hot schoolgirl at Starbucks. It's cheaper and we don't have to ask her to bring the outfit.

Have to run, I think our provider just arrived.

11.  She suddenly realized that she forgot to visit downtown to stock up on her drug of choice at the corner and the withdrawal symptoms and cravings have started.


Only saying this one might apply to only a few

12.  Her parole officer called and said she won't report her violation if she comes right over and gives him a soft little "violation" of his dick.

It's called "theeroticreview." I found that if I use it wisely I rarely get bait and switched or no showed!

Stick with your "regulars"
Don't venture out.

I have used that site.

However if you've read the posts on this discussion board, you would have discovered that "bait and switches" and "no shows" are as common as the "enhanced" providers reviewed on it.

Maybe you should tell all those "b n s" victims that they need to wise up.

BTW, received an email today from the last flake. First she claimed that she canceled because she had sudden medical issues. Then she emailed me a few hours later and said they had mysteriously went away and would I book her tonight. However in addition to paying her rate she expected me to reimburse her for a hotel room. I declined but that was just me. You might have thrown in a massage and room service. I'm sure she would have showed up looking somewhat like the unphotoshopped version of her real self. Now that would have been a wise decision.

Hmmmmmmmmmm.... sounds vaguely familiar...

Where have I heard that one before????????????????

It's coming to me  now.....

MY WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!