So, why would a provider bail mid-drink? Is the only explanation that she's unprofessional? Let me float an alternate explanation:
- This happened a while ago, and the guy is still mad enough about it to call her "the she-devil". So he clearly has a capacity for long-simmering rage.- He also spent $400 to get ready for the date to impress her, even before you get to the donation, which means there's some neediness in there too. You spend that kind of money when you're looking for a girlfriend, not a roll in the hay. So maybe she wasn't nervous before they met, and then they sat down for a drink, and something about him spooked her in a "this-guy-is-so-needy-and-twitchy-he-might-strangle-me-in-the-hotel-room-if-i-don't-say-he's-my-soulmate" way. So she's trying to get through the first drink, getting more and more freaked out, because if you think someone is a physical threat, you don't try to provoke them by telling them you think they're a threat. You don't give them a chance to hurt you. You just try to get out when they're not looking. He ordered a second round, and she saw her chance and bolted. She doesn't want to talk about it but that seems to fit things better than she's just a flake or doesn't know what she wants. The fact is if a guy scares a provider, hell yes she has the right to bolt at any moment. And the fact that this guy is so butthurt about it makes me think she made the right choice.
Avoid her like the plague.....she is the she devil....made me get a room had drinks @ bar asked her for another round she said yes and bailed cost me 400 then I get a txt saying she's sorry I'm super nice but she's never done this wtf????!!!
Didn't you do any research? How did you come across her?
-- Modified on 11/15/2013 7:29:02 PM
She had one review took it on faith....she's on ter has an ad post up on the board offering incall on the 16th 2 hours 450
Thanks for the intel. That's pretty screwed. Sorry for your loss.
-- Modified on 11/15/2013 7:29:02 PM
snark aside, sorry dude, we've all been burned one way or another
She's not a 9 either 7 is okay plain looking w/baby fat
Read some of her blog then read the review. Hmmm... Anything seem familiar?
No I didnt see what you are referring to?
We're all open to change our minds before the actual date starts. I'd actually prefer it if she were not comfortable or there wasn't any chemistry etc. I do not accept stealing the donation though WTF!!!!!! with a capital "F"!!!!!!!!. She is trying to come off as an elite courtesan and world traveler and now she just got in the pit with the rest of the snakes and the bottom feeders.
Please submit a rip-off report review ASAP. That's the least you can do to get her back 
Que Lastima.....
...$400. That may have been the cost of the room, although he told someone else in this thread that the room cost him $175.
Who says we have to believe what he is saying?
Never said room was 175 check my posts......
Who says we have to believe what he is saying?
...total cost of what you spent for the room, drinks at the bar, champagne and flutes for the room and candles with candle holders.
Don't leave the impression that she stole the donation if she didn't.
I never said she took donation. That's your assumption sir.
Don't leave the impression that she stole the donation if she didn't.
...Your OP was unclear and someone else assumed she took the donation and left. Read his post...
So, let me start off by saying the original poster is a cool guy: when I was first getting my noob on earlier this year he had reviewed someone I was looking at, and I sent him an email asking him for other recommendations, and he was very helpful. Back then Hayden's name came up as well, though when he told me about it, he said he was out 175 for the room, not 400 (I guess those were some super-expensive drinks lol). Anyway, who cares... regardless of the amount, it was still uncool.
I'm just curious what she did after that. Did she offer to pay you back for the room? Did you get an apology? Because yeah, you got jacked, but you also have to have a little sympathy for a new girl: it sounds like she got spooked/freaked out/whatever by the situation, and she did say you were "super nice". Who knows what was going on for her that day? I'm not trying to white knight, but I just wonder if maybe she's sorted some things out since she started, and things are different now.
Providers can respond to threads here, right? Hayden, you out there? What's your side of the story? And bruinfan718, what would make this right for you?
Jules "the Peacemaker" Verne 
-- Modified on 11/16/2013 12:29:55 AM
400 is for room, drinks @ bar plus she wanted champagne in the room so I bought a bottle w/flutes, candles w/candle holders...yah I'm a sucker I was trying to create a comfortable environment for her...she said la guys were degrading amd made her do things she didn't want to (kinda felt bad for her)
Come on. At any time during drinks, before the date was set, etc. she could have let him know she was nervous and uncertain. In fact she could have offered to meet him for drinks BEFORE they agreed to a date and before he rented the room. In the past I've offered exactly this to ladies who were new to me or new to the biz. There were numerous ways to handle this other than just bailing.
That's my whole point. I would have been cool if she said don't get a second round of drinks and told me it wasn't going to work. No fuss no muss...but to have me order another round and then just bail says a lot about her character. Her ad shortly disappeared after that..I .just wanted to give a warning about her since she's in la again. . She seems unsure of this is for her which is okay, this isn't for everybody....
So, why would a provider bail mid-drink? Is the only explanation that she's unprofessional? Let me float an alternate explanation:
- This happened a while ago, and the guy is still mad enough about it to call her "the she-devil". So he clearly has a capacity for long-simmering rage.
- He also spent $400 to get ready for the date to impress her, even before you get to the donation, which means there's some neediness in there too. You spend that kind of money when you're looking for a girlfriend, not a roll in the hay.
So maybe she wasn't nervous before they met, and then they sat down for a drink, and something about him spooked her in a "this-guy-is-so-needy-and-twitchy-he-might-strangle-me-in-the-hotel-room-if-i-don't-say-he's-my-soulmate" way. So she's trying to get through the first drink, getting more and more freaked out, because if you think someone is a physical threat, you don't try to provoke them by telling them you think they're a threat. You don't give them a chance to hurt you. You just try to get out when they're not looking. He ordered a second round, and she saw her chance and bolted.
She doesn't want to talk about it but that seems to fit things better than she's just a flake or doesn't know what she wants. The fact is if a guy scares a provider, hell yes she has the right to bolt at any moment. And the fact that this guy is so butthurt about it makes me think she made the right choice.
So 1st I'm a cool guy for helping you out and now you flip. You don't know what you are talking about... Saw her post and thought I should warn other guys from making the same mistake
Hmmm you say I'm needy far from it. I've done the same for Ellavie: city-source.com/ellavie she didn't bolt I've seen her multiple time so ST*U about things you know nothing about...
- This happened a while ago, and the guy is still mad enough about it to call her "the she-devil". So he clearly has a capacity for long-simmering rage.
- He also spent $400 to get ready for the date to impress her, even before you get to the donation, which means there's some neediness in there too. You spend that kind of money when you're looking for a girlfriend, not a roll in the hay.
So maybe she wasn't nervous before they met, and then they sat down for a drink, and something about him spooked her in a "this-guy-is-so-needy-and-twitchy-he-might-strangle-me-in-the-hotel-room-if-i-don't-say-he's-my-soulmate" way. So she's trying to get through the first drink, getting more and more freaked out, because if you think someone is a physical threat, you don't try to provoke them by telling them you think they're a threat. You don't give them a chance to hurt you. You just try to get out when they're not looking. He ordered a second round, and she saw her chance and bolted.
She doesn't want to talk about it but that seems to fit things better than she's just a flake or doesn't know what she wants. The fact is if a guy scares a provider, hell yes she has the right to bolt at any moment. And the fact that this guy is so butthurt about it makes me think she made the right choice.
You are the "Peacemaker". You are the "Peacemaker" ....
In that case, I really should take this time to thank the Academy. But, since inquiring minds want to know . . . I completely fail to understand how it would be possible for me to force ANYONE to buy champagne, or endless rounds of drinks, or a hotel room. If I had those types of superpowers that would enable me to control a man's mind like that, I certainly wouldn't be here on TER. I'd be married to Ryan Seacrest. Or Christian Bale. Or both.
Most importantly, I would NEVER EVER steal money from anyone. Let's be clear about the fact that absolutely NO money exchanged hands in this situation.
I always reserve the right to terminate an engagement within the first 15 minutes with any new client and for any reason I see fit. This is my policy and my decision and I see no reason to defend it. Likewise, if upon meeting me I'm not at all what someone expects, I would not be offended should he decide not to move forward. There are a myriad of risks for everyone in this business and we all look out for ourselves as best we can. And as long as I have not yet accepted any form of payment, I have not done anything unethical.
This is exactly the reason I don't enjoy participating in this forum, and precisely the reason I don't often see new clients. I understand the original poster of this message is offended and angry. I could most definitely tell "my side of the story" here. But I won't. Because, in all honesty, the exchange between the two of us is a private matter and not one that should be analyzed by every member of this forum.
Did I make a decision to walk away before accepting any money or providing any services other than 15 minutes of conversation? Yes. Did the reviewer purchase a hotel room and champagne? Perhaps. I can't vouch for this as I saw neither. Did I have a drink at the bar that he paid for? Absolutely. And let's be honest here . . . If I'm the only girl he's ever bought a drink for and struck out with he'd have no reason to be here either.
Likewise, since he found me only a 7 with lots of baby fat, than I'd have to say the Hawaiian Tropic judges really should raise their standards for pageant winners. Perhaps instead of being angry he should be thanking me for saving him the amount of my fee, which is clearly exorbitant given my chubby appearance.
So there you go. Avoid me like the plague if you see fit. You have a right to your own decisions, just as I have a right to mine
Nice of you to reply. But no where did see I'm sorry for wasting your time ,and money. Its okay your character says a lot. Yes I got a room or did you forget the txt we exchanged with the room # yes I got champagne as I told yes u said oj for another round of drinks... Then you bailed, like I said all you had do was say it wasn't for you my dear. Honesty goes along way.... I have seen well reviewed providers I just am not in the hobby of reviewing as most which you know. Your lack of professionalism in this hobby is an understatement. I wish you the best....
Most importantly, I would NEVER EVER steal money from anyone. Let's be clear about the fact that absolutely NO money exchanged hands in this situation.
I always reserve the right to terminate an engagement within the first 15 minutes with any new client and for any reason I see fit. This is my policy and my decision and I see no reason to defend it. Likewise, if upon meeting me I'm not at all what someone expects, I would not be offended should he decide not to move forward. There are a myriad of risks for everyone in this business and we all look out for ourselves as best we can. And as long as I have not yet accepted any form of payment, I have not done anything unethical.
This is exactly the reason I don't enjoy participating in this forum, and precisely the reason I don't often see new clients. I understand the original poster of this message is offended and angry. I could most definitely tell "my side of the story" here. But I won't. Because, in all honesty, the exchange between the two of us is a private matter and not one that should be analyzed by every member of this forum.
Did I make a decision to walk away before accepting any money or providing any services other than 15 minutes of conversation? Yes. Did the reviewer purchase a hotel room and champagne? Perhaps. I can't vouch for this as I saw neither. Did I have a drink at the bar that he paid for? Absolutely. And let's be honest here . . . If I'm the only girl he's ever bought a drink for and struck out with he'd have no reason to be here either.
Likewise, since he found me only a 7 with lots of baby fat, than I'd have to say the Hawaiian Tropic judges really should raise their standards for pageant winners. Perhaps instead of being angry he should be thanking me for saving him the amount of my fee, which is clearly exorbitant given my chubby appearance.
So there you go. Avoid me like the plague if you see fit. You have a right to your own decisions, just as I have a right to mine.
Most of us aren't in the hobby for a maybe date. We have time limitations and funds limitations. We like to make them count. It is disappointing when they don't. Perhaps this line of work might not be for you. You are quite a beautiful lady though.
circumstances should we ever have to go through with an appointment when we feel uneasy....
Thank you for your candor....
$tay $afe,
Jazz
Most importantly, I would NEVER EVER steal money from anyone. Let's be clear about the fact that absolutely NO money exchanged hands in this situation.
I always reserve the right to terminate an engagement within the first 15 minutes with any new client and for any reason I see fit. This is my policy and my decision and I see no reason to defend it. Likewise, if upon meeting me I'm not at all what someone expects, I would not be offended should he decide not to move forward. There are a myriad of risks for everyone in this business and we all look out for ourselves as best we can. And as long as I have not yet accepted any form of payment, I have not done anything unethical.
This is exactly the reason I don't enjoy participating in this forum, and precisely the reason I don't often see new clients. I understand the original poster of this message is offended and angry. I could most definitely tell "my side of the story" here. But I won't. Because, in all honesty, the exchange between the two of us is a private matter and not one that should be analyzed by every member of this forum.
Did I make a decision to walk away before accepting any money or providing any services other than 15 minutes of conversation? Yes. Did the reviewer purchase a hotel room and champagne? Perhaps. I can't vouch for this as I saw neither. Did I have a drink at the bar that he paid for? Absolutely. And let's be honest here . . . If I'm the only girl he's ever bought a drink for and struck out with he'd have no reason to be here either.
Likewise, since he found me only a 7 with lots of baby fat, than I'd have to say the Hawaiian Tropic judges really should raise their standards for pageant winners. Perhaps instead of being angry he should be thanking me for saving him the amount of my fee, which is clearly exorbitant given my chubby appearance.
So there you go. Avoid me like the plague if you see fit. You have a right to your own decisions, just as I have a right to mine.
Judging by your pictures theres no Way in Hell you were a Hawaiian Tropic Girl .Maybe a long time ago . All the darn lies is so funny .Oh by the way Im BRAD PITT !!
Hi There
This is wrong and mean !!!
Alley
xo
Who do you mean? She isn't nice...she knew full well what I had done we exchanged email and a phone call prior to our appt and she knew what I had planned...her lack of know what she wanted out of this led her to bail...all she could have done was tell me.....I understand things....I'm done talking about her
I'm rather saddened and dissappointed by all of this. Isn't the purpose of this board to form a community for the purposes of, if nothing else, SAFETY? Do you realize what message this is sending to other providers?
I would absolutely hate for a new or inexperienced girl to read this given the message that is very clearly being conveyed here. If you choose to end an engagement because you do not feel right about a client PRIOR to receiving any compensation you will be trashed and forced to defend your reputation.
I'm saddened by the fact that clearly many of you here believe we should willingly put ourselves in situations that make us wary, afraid and/or uncomfortable simply because we've shown up for an appointment. Because basically, what you're saying is that you really don't give a crap about our well being or our safety.
To all other providers out there, I say TRUST YOUR INTUITION. Yes, it's easy to rely on reviews and feel safe, but give a thought to the process. You've asked HIM to send you two references. Do you know these girls? Maybe or maybe not. Has he seen more than two other girls? And if so, what about those OTHER girls? What do they have to say about him? I don't have to tell you that the girls who would have the worst complaint of all wouldn't still be here to tell the story.
You are welcome to trash me here all you want. I have always trusted my intuition and I will continue to do so. No amount of money could ever be worth my life.
xoxoxo
Hayden
I would absolutely hate for a new or inexperienced girl to read this given the message that is very clearly being conveyed here. If you choose to end an engagement because you do not feel right about a client PRIOR to receiving any compensation you will be trashed and forced to defend your reputation.
I'm saddened by the fact that clearly many of you here believe we should willingly put ourselves in situations that make us wary, afraid and/or uncomfortable simply because we've shown up for an appointment. Because basically, what you're saying is that you really don't give a crap about our well being or our safety.
To all other providers out there, I say TRUST YOUR INTUITION. Yes, it's easy to rely on reviews and feel safe, but give a thought to the process. You've asked HIM to send you two references. Do you know these girls? Maybe or maybe not. Has he seen more than two other girls? And if so, what about those OTHER girls? What do they have to say about him? I don't have to tell you that the girls who would have the worst complaint of all wouldn't still be here to tell the story.
You are welcome to trash me here all you want. I have always trusted my intuition and I will continue to do so. No amount of money could ever be worth my life.
xoxoxo
Hayden
I believe the OP completely. If he had sketched out Hayden to the extent that she says he did, then she never would have booked an appointment with him and she never would have met him at the bar. She bailed for whatever reason and that's totally unprofessional.
"If he had sketched out Hayden to the extent that she says he did, then she never would have booked an appointment with him and she never would have met him at the bar. She bailed for whatever reason and that's totally unprofessional."
Not true, necessarily. People can present themselves any way they'd like over email and be completely different in person. 90-something % of the time, you don't really know exactly how someone will be until you meet them in person and look him/her in the eyes.
Not true, necessarily. People can present themselves any way they'd like over email and be completely different in person. 90-something % of the time, you don't really know exactly how someone will be until you meet them in person and look him/her in the eyes.
Can you please let us know the last time you met a man you've never met before that you've only exchanged brief emails with?
Your first hand experience with situations like Hayden's (and mine) is very pertinent to your making comments regarding her, and other providers, mindsets.
Please don't speak for us. If you have never had our experiences, please don't assume you know how she/we feel/think.
Please PLEASE don't do that.
-- Modified on 11/17/2013 1:47:06 AM
I have been a hobbyist twice as long as you have been in this game. I know full well what garbage providers are willing to say anytime their business gets threatened.
Nothing Hayden has said has caused me to change my mind in this matter.
What a typical response
I know I said I would talk about anymore. But the impression that you were concerned for your safety is crap. We exchanged a warm hug sat at a bar full of people..had a drink I asked if you wanted another you said yes then asked for the bathroom, in hindsight I should have known what you were doing...doesn't matter at this point its over. But for you to paint a picture of your safety being jeopordized is clearly wrong and I feel sad that you are justifying why you left because of that reason. I'm done talking about you and the experience...good luck...funny how at the time your rate was X00 for 2 hours....and now its 450......
I would absolutely hate for a new or inexperienced girl to read this given the message that is very clearly being conveyed here. If you choose to end an engagement because you do not feel right about a client PRIOR to receiving any compensation you will be trashed and forced to defend your reputation.
I'm saddened by the fact that clearly many of you here believe we should willingly put ourselves in situations that make us wary, afraid and/or uncomfortable simply because we've shown up for an appointment. Because basically, what you're saying is that you really don't give a crap about our well being or our safety.
To all other providers out there, I say TRUST YOUR INTUITION. Yes, it's easy to rely on reviews and feel safe, but give a thought to the process. You've asked HIM to send you two references. Do you know these girls? Maybe or maybe not. Has he seen more than two other girls? And if so, what about those OTHER girls? What do they have to say about him? I don't have to tell you that the girls who would have the worst complaint of all wouldn't still be here to tell the story.
You are welcome to trash me here all you want. I have always trusted my intuition and I will continue to do so. No amount of money could ever be worth my life.
xoxoxo
Hayden
Due to many of the missing details from the OP I surmised the $400 that was eluded to in said post was 1/2 your posted 2 hour rate of $800. From that I concluded mistakenly that this was a classic case of grab and dash while he is at the bar. Now that we know your side of the story clearly that is not the case.
I specifically mentioned that in my second post I would actually prefer to end a date if there are any feelings of awkwardness or nervous tension etc than as you said to go forward with something supposedly intimate where there is nothing. Clearly you sensed something and ended the date.
The OP stated that his main issue with you is that he bought a second round of drinks. And if that had not happened he would not have had a problem. So I believe he said you OJ and he probably had a Bud Light so maybe you could Paypal him the $15 back for the two drinks Call it even and walk away form all this sillyness.
IMHO There is far too mush unnecessary drama on this board already. Many times its just unbearable and we've lost some really amazing women because of it. I should have known better than to post on a one sided story until the other side (truth) was revealed. That was my bad again please accept my apology.
15 minutes of fame yes most definitely. If you believe in the new marketing principles of today any publicity is good publicity as so your views on your web site have sky rocketed today. You took the high road, you could have been nasty and cruel but you remained professional in your replies. And now we know you were a Hawaiian Tropics model so IMHO in any case you win!!!!!!!
Thank you. I appreciate it. I've received a bunch of messages from many of you that have made me feel better.
I'd like to state just a few things for the record:
1. I never accepted any compensation for this person. If nothing else, I took hours out of my day to dress and drive to meet this person. I'm not in the habit of wasting my time and I never would have ended anything had it not felt necessary at the time.
2. I did apologize to this person at the time for any undue angst and/or financial strain or inconvenience this may have caused. If you review his original post he even states my message to him began with "I'm sorry." I didn't mean to be mean or rude or snub anyone but my safety will always come first.
3. Did anyone happen to mention this incident occurred FOUR MONTHS AGO? The fact that the original poster evidently has so much repressed rage as to lash out even now with such venom is all the proof I need that I made the right choice at the time.
Case closed from my viewpoint, though I encourage you all to come to your own conclusion and act as you see fit. Just needed to clear the air for the many who are asking me for details. I don't feel details about a particular encounter are ever appropriate to share with anyone who wasn't present at the time. I will always respect your decisions and your privacy and I think it only fair that you respect mine.
xoxoxox
Hayde
I got no beef with that. But bruin still has a hard on over this. It will pass so now let's get to the issue at hand and that is......will SC beat the bruins???? Going to be a good game. Opps wrong forum....so shoot me.
And did that last week in a post on this board.
Oh for fucks sake. Can you get any more kiss ass? What a puss.
and then after she gets to my room I'm going to say that I feel sketched out by her and ask her to leave. Because, we should never be made to go through with something that we don't feel comfortable with.
But you need to tighten it up. You can't just feel "sketched out", you'd have to feel like your physical safety was at risk, like there was a real chance Hayden might hurt you if you were alone with her, and you wouldn't be able to defend yourself. Is that a common problem for you with providers? Maybe you should hit Crunch, blast that core, take a little Krav Maga or something Otherwise it just sounds like you want to do something mean to a provider who never did anything to you to prove... something?
Anyway, this post reminded me of a funny Louis C.K. bit about how dating risk is different for men vs. women: YouTube link attached below. Like they say, it's funny because it's true
URAGFDB ESAD