I am hoping someone could give me a suggestion on what to do. I met this provider the end of Jan this year and we totally hit it off. We became instant befriends. We were always together and even did some 4 hand appts together. I started using her place as my incall location. I would pay her a set amount for every appt. I thought it was going well. I would bring my girls over there all the time to play with her grandson, we took them all out to parks. Our families got very close. I'm not sure what changed, but things started changing. She would fly off the handle for the littlest things. then come back 20 min later and beg for forgiveness. There was things going on in her house I didn't approve of and I didn't want to be around. She started texting me after I left her house accusing me of stealing her things. There was one time she thought I took a $100 bill. She found it later in the garbage bag she was taking to the outside can!!!!! I would tell her I haven't seen her "missing things" and that I'm sure they will turn up eventually. One time she even accused me of stealing her vacuum!!! I told her I have an Oreck at home, why would I need her DI vacuum? I finally had had all I could take and I left. I didn't even pack my things I had there.... I just left. That was 4 weeks ago. Since then I haven't talked to her, texted, or emailed her. I did get a text from her about 3 weeks ago yelling at me that I needed to quit contacting her clients and how that was such bullshit that I was doing it. I NEVER initiate calls or text!!!!! I NEVER HAVE!!! I replied, "I don't even contact my clients, why would I contact yours? Supossedly who am I calling?" no response. 2-3 weeks ago I had one of my regulars call me but I wasn't available. He asked who I would recommend. I don't know anyone but this one provider. She does take good care of the clients so I felt ok sending him to her. When he called her she asked for references and he told her he sees me all the time. Her response was,"Sammy is a BITCH!! She stole over $2000 from me." This guy was a complete stranger to her and she is just spreading this shit!! If she knows I took it, why not call the police? So I just ignored it. Then last week I got a call from a friend who said I needed to check out a website. I got to where they directed me and HOLY SHIT! This provider had posted my REAL NAME!!! FIRST AND LAST!!!!! she posted saying I posted some crap comment about her and I was jealous cuz she has a restraining order out against me, now the money is up to $3000 I stole. Don't I have to be served to have a restraining order? Oh well, I don't care. I DON'T GO OVER THERE. Now I find out she is telling clients that I have stolen things from her garage that belonged to them.
I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF THIS WOMAN!!!!! I am not one that trash talks anyone, I don't lie, cheat, or steal. My clients can back that up. I have a regular life that is full. I don't have all this time to do all the crap to her. I refuse to go to any hobby boards because of the problems with rumors and lies. My question is this.... Why can't this woman get over her obsession with me and just forget me? I'm not there, I'm not going back, It's time to move on....... Second, What can I do to make her stop??? I would NEVER turn someone in for anything, so that isn't even an option. Someone please help me!!! This has just gone too far, and it has to STOP!!!
Sorry you are going thru this. The woman sounds psychotic. Is she on drugs?
The reason I started this thread is to remind people that if they choose to me mean, hurtful, cruel, and just plain ruthless; that there is possibly innocent family and friends that might be affected.
The one I usually recommend in these situations is complete and utter ignoring of the person, and that means no response to anything she puts out there. Have her calls and emails blocked, and certainly don't send her any clients. Don't mention her to anyone either.
This usually gets rid of stalkerish behavior because what stalkers mostly want is a reaction that they can feed off of and then escalate the situation.
However, sometimes the things stalkers do get to the point of ruining your life.
If you feel that things have gotten to that point, then you need to consult an attorney and see if he/she feels that somwthing like a restraining order or other legal tool would make sense here.
Good luck on this, it can be a real sticky situation.
Let us know what happens.
(still not a lawyer)
This usually gets rid of stalkerish behavior because what stalkers mostly want is a reaction that they can feed off of and then escalate the situation.
However, sometimes the things stalkers do get to the point of ruining your life.
If you feel that things have gotten to that point, then you need to consult an attorney and see if he/she feels that somwthing like a restraining order or other legal tool would make sense here.
Good luck on this, it can be a real sticky situation.
Let us know what happens.
(still not a lawyer)
Thanks for your response.
don't assume that they are not taking info back to her.
I had a home service (sorry can't explain more but the contractor came to my house) that continued to serve my Ex-W & myself after the Divorce. I told the guy I was glad to hear about her pet (who I'd cared for) but I perfered to not know her business & I wanted to keep mine to myself. He understood & we found other things to converse about after this.
You can use Google & other tools to find malicious postings... I guess you can note if clients bring you tales... but minimize the conversation. In many ways this is like a Divorce... friends invariably end up choosing sides. That's how it is. Accept it & move on, make new friends (clients).
It is very unwise for her to post publically given her profession... "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones!" As has been suggested, do everything in your power to stop / block communication. I think it would be wise to consult an Atty now... an investigator might well link the postings to her. Often a lawyer's cease & desist letter to her legal name is enough to stop the harrassment without going to court... but you must be prepared to go the next step. You might have to take a break from the business (or work out of town under a different stage name). Al this is NOT discreet as we know the hobby should be at all times. You must redouble your efforts at security as the attention could be seen by LE.
Take care,
HV
Someone said it before,ignore her, stalkerish behavior tends to go away (if there's really nothing that you did to create it..sounds like you never did).
Not sure what type phone you use,but if you use an Android Phone,there is a free App called AVAST Mobile Security. (free and paid version). --Sure IPhone has the same things.
It has a feature where you can put both text and v.m. blocks on people. The v.m. shoots straight to VM--you never know it.
Naturally, if you use Google Voice, can send her number to the "Disconnected" pile.
In my opinion, would not get LE involved.You do, she could make life miserable for you--saying what you do for a living,she'll help them set you up, etc.etc.Could get ugly quick.
Just ignore her. She'll finally get exhausted talking about you/move on....
sending you "GOOD KARMA"
amazing that girls will go to this extreme.its unfortunate but true that in this buisness there are many girls that are bitter and resentful,from yrs of manipulation?abuse.i know of a few psychos myself.absolutely no action=no reaction.i have a problem similar with a restricted caller,who,whenever i answer simply says "suck my d**k".its amazzing his persistence.weeks have come and gone i still get 5 to 10 calls a day and i nvr answer.its scary and sad that ppl get that obsessive-compulsive
It's amazing what a lawyer's letter can do. Not a law suit. Heavens No. Nothing involving the court, just don't tell anybody that.
Remember, once you enter into an attorney-client relationship your in a confidential relationship. Don't get a new attorney, letters take experience to be effective. Many providers like a provider friendly attorney to work with them. I think any good and experienced attorney should know how to handle this. Criminal or General Civil lawyers hear much stranger things from really bad people about worse people. Also, keep in mind many Criminal lawyers can be very good at certain areas of civil law and if he isn't, of all lawyers, he'll be the first to say so.
Good luck.