I've about fucking had it with trying to do my screening, running info through the various blacklist sites, and constantly coming across the following kinds of BS. I've only reported info a few times over the past several yrs and it was serious shit. This on the other hand? Even one of my best friends whom I would trust with my life has his work and home number listed on the sites. No wonder no one wants to give screening info anymore. These dumb bitches report guys for any number of retarded things, thinking nothing of the future ripple effect it may have. I'm so tired of reading these kinds of things on the blacklist sites:

"Emailed me about meeting up soon and then never got back to me-time waster!!"

"Called me to cancel saying his flight was delayed yeah right"

"Called me to cancel and tried to say he had come down with the flu and didn't want to get me sick what an asshole"

"Emailed me and asked me my rate OMG he is LE!!"

"This guy asked me if I was available next Monday night for a meeting and then never got back to me he is a TIME WASTER!!!"

"This guy NCNS'd me and then the next day emailed me and called to apologize and say his kid was sick and he had to get home and couldn't get private time to contact me..yeah right asshole"

"This guy emailed me and asked what I do OMG I just know he is a cop!!"

"This guy called me and asked if I was free in an hour OMG he must be a weirdo"

And the list goes on. I'm all in favor of reporting someone if the situation truly warrants it, like if your safety is at risk, you were held at gunpoint, you were raped, arrested, etc. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be any room anymore for common sense and recognizing whether or not someone might have ACTUALLY had an emergency, might have misunderstood the donation amount, or any other number of things. Giving someone an opportunity to explain themselves? Not these days!

I can't think how many times I've had my donation a bit short, someone canceled last minute, someone was late, someone had somewhat funky breath, etc etc etc. And I never blacklisted any of them. Instead I took a moment to truly analyze the situation, and whether or not I believed there was malicious intent. I have not come to regret any of my decisions thus far.

Do I believe in blacklisting? Absolutely. If someones safety or freedom is put at risk. Do I also believe in taking the time to make sure the people I meet in the first place are very unlikely to give me a reason to be worried? Absolutely. In all my time in the business, I have NEVER had a major issue come up with someone I met. I've had worse problems with people I DIDN'T meet.

It's not wonder guys are more and more reluctant to give out information. Because god forbid their work schedule changes, or a kid is sick, or the wife wants them home early, or the car really does break down, or they have to fly to DC instead of LA, or any other number of things.

Okay, end rant.

But it's free to take the following advice and never need any such service - don't give your personal info out in the first place - dumb shits.

It's insane what's on Black Lists.  Guys can be put on a Black List with personal info listed for having too much garlic at lunch time, or socks that don't match.

http://www.wix.com/hobbyistdefender/hobbyistdefender#!

It's nice to know there's someone providing such a service.  My only issue with it is, how do we know the guy's legit?  Has anybody used this service?  I haven't had any problems that would cause me to need this but it would be nice to know if he's the real deal.
PS: I hope you're well, my dear.

(I am well, thank you Mr. I)
no idea who this is or if its real. It could very well be BS.
Or maybe there is a hobbyist superhero out there somewhere fighting the good fight for mongers everywhere...

As you know, all my super powers come from the scarf.

and you 'reds'
Oh wait thats right you don't wear them....you can borrow mine

I've seen the exact same posts and wondered why they're allowed.

You're right about thinking long and hard before you put someone on blacklist site. Most guys have legit excuses, last minute emergencies, etc. I find most guys re book session and show up. I've never been shorted monies (and hope never to).

Harmful behavior should be reported.

Only cursing I noticed was "bullshit", which doesn't seem too out of place to me, given the subject. However, "discrete", "propogate", "charactor" and a lot of sloppy spacing, etc., suggests a guy at his kitchen table with enthusiasm rather than real professional with the necessary seriousness for the job.

Great post.  The Boston board has been inundated recently with ladies talking blacklist.  It's f-ing crazy, can't be eradicated, and will end my life as I know it.

I'm a dead man walking.

A lot of people are not going to like what I have to say. To them I say it's an opinion. Please accept it as one.

I think the NBL sites are necessary. However, I also think that there needs to be a set of rules. The only people who should be on those lists are people who threaten you, rob you, assault you or are so far in left field ( like demanding BB ) that they should not play with the general population. Things like invites you to his Meth lab, or keeps a loaded gun on the nightstand, under the pillow and on top of the toilet.

Late to an appointment, unable to make an appointment, wants photos, time waster, NCNS, bad breath, has a peg leg, and the myriad of other real life issues are no reason to ruin his life. The DNS/NBL sites need to take a lead in the role of ensuring that the data is posted in some form of accountable manner. Placing someone on a NBL for NCNS is about as stupid as it gets.

Here comes the part that people will have trouble with........

Speaking of stupid, I don't see any difference between the lack of responsibility taken by these DNS/NBL sites and TER's allowance of Alias reviews. Men hold in their hands the ability to ruin a provider's reputation. They can do this in an honest manner with an honest reason, or they can do it with malicious intent. Our reputation can be trashed as quickly as yours. Our ability to make that house payment or a child's day care or private school payment is as important as any guy's. For some providers, it can be the difference between their child having lunch at school or not. And before everyone thinks I am a bleeding heart airhead, yes for some providers it's an issue of how she may maintain her substance issues. Either way, we can just as easily be impacted by an irate client.

The main difference is that in SOME instances, the NBL will have personal information about the client. This, I totally disagree with. Hobby info only should be the rule. Consider a provider's dilemma. Write that Alias review, our photos are attached to it, our website, our contact information, even some provider's phone numbers. We put far more out to the pubic on a more consistent and permanent basis than most hobbyists (notice I say most).

Off my soap box now.....

I am not a fan of the abuse that takes place in the NBL, but I am a fan of a central bank of information about anyone who is honestly a threat to me or my friends. As the male population on TER lectures to us repeatedly, it is a process. Most honest hobbyists say " We don't like the review process, but it's what we have and we try to make it as functional and useful as possible. There will always be those that abuse it and that's just life." I would say the same about the NBL. When you can make a better omelet, let us know. In the meantime, it's one of the few resources we have.

Sorry guys. I know it's a touchy issue. But really, there are SOME very unique similarities.

I agree with this poster completely.
Some of the listings I have seen on the NBL are ridiculous, and yes I have seen names up there that do not belong there. There are some very nice men up there and its very sad to see people using that to hurt someone to that degree who doesnt deserve it. But that is the sites fault for allowing it. The problem is the stupid bs posts are mixed with some very valuable info about some very dangerous men. It tends to make the  important info less believable and does not make the "bad" guy stand out the way he should.
The alias thing on TER started out as, in some cases, good clean fun...in others, a valuable way to voice an opinion that one might not always share. At this point though, it has turned into a weapon. In the end, it might actually hurt the sites integrity to the public, very much in the same way the NBL has suffered the same.
There is a line between giving power to the hobbyist or provider, and giving that same power to an abusive person, and I think that line has been crossed, on both sites.

I totally agree!
As for me I only put the very worst on my DNS list.
It takes a lot to get there.

Posted By: ItalianGabriella

I've about fucking had it with trying to do my screening, running info through the various blacklist sites, and constantly coming across the following kinds of BS. I've only reported info a few times over the past several yrs and it was serious shit. This on the other hand? Even one of my best friends whom I would trust with my life has his work and home number listed on the sites. No wonder no one wants to give screening info anymore. These dumb bitches report guys for any number of retarded things, thinking nothing of the future ripple effect it may have. I'm so tired of reading these kinds of things on the blacklist sites:

"Emailed me about meeting up soon and then never got back to me-time waster!!"

"Called me to cancel saying his flight was delayed yeah right"

"Called me to cancel and tried to say he had come down with the flu and didn't want to get me sick what an asshole"

"Emailed me and asked me my rate OMG he is LE!!"

"This guy asked me if I was available next Monday night for a meeting and then never got back to me he is a TIME WASTER!!!"

"This guy NCNS'd me and then the next day emailed me and called to apologize and say his kid was sick and he had to get home and couldn't get private time to contact me..yeah right asshole"

"This guy emailed me and asked what I do OMG I just know he is a cop!!"

"This guy called me and asked if I was free in an hour OMG he must be a weirdo"

And the list goes on. I'm all in favor of reporting someone if the situation truly warrants it, like if your safety is at risk, you were held at gunpoint, you were raped, arrested, etc. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be any room anymore for common sense and recognizing whether or not someone might have ACTUALLY had an emergency, might have misunderstood the donation amount, or any other number of things. Giving someone an opportunity to explain themselves? Not these days!

I can't think how many times I've had my donation a bit short, someone canceled last minute, someone was late, someone had somewhat funky breath, etc etc etc. And I never blacklisted any of them. Instead I took a moment to truly analyze the situation, and whether or not I believed there was malicious intent. I have not come to regret any of my decisions thus far.

Do I believe in blacklisting? Absolutely. If someones safety or freedom is put at risk. Do I also believe in taking the time to make sure the people I meet in the first place are very unlikely to give me a reason to be worried? Absolutely. In all my time in the business, I have NEVER had a major issue come up with someone I met. I've had worse problems with people I DIDN'T meet.

It's not wonder guys are more and more reluctant to give out information. Because god forbid their work schedule changes, or a kid is sick, or the wife wants them home early, or the car really does break down, or they have to fly to DC instead of LA, or any other number of things.

Okay, end rant.

Yep, it's been a war on the Boston boards regarding this. I understand why it is like pulling teeth to get information when guys are afraid of where their information could wind up. Blacklisting is a last resort and only should be used for the absolute worst offenses when you are in danger, ripped off, or your safety is question etc. If someone is a time waster just make a personal note to yourself, if he's kinda funky okay personal note to self, no need to damage anyone's livelihood or personal life. The Internet is forever and sometimes people don't realize that when blacklisting.

Sav

Sometimes I think ladies will add a gent to blacklists because they want to keep him all to.themselves lol

He is a decent an honest person. He was put on a blacklist by a lady who fell in love with him. he had shown me the many text messages and emails she had sent him.  Also the letter she sent to his wife.  When her attempts how to break up his family failed, she blacklisted him .  Obviously, heno longer hobbies.  I told him to contact this individual and do his own due diligence before hiring him .

He has retained individual.  I do not know the results as they are confidential between the twi of them.  But, this was his last avenue for relief.  Is efforts to have his information removed were ignored.

Ladies need to remember the damage blacklisting can do for insignificant reasons or out of spite. This is just my opinion .

-- Modified on 10/14/2011 6:34:44 AM