I have a problem. A provider that my wife and I am close friends with and is our ATF with got busted by LE. LE got her phone and on it was her date book, contact information, notes on clients, and other information. Now I have a friend who is in vice and he came over to warn me that they had my number and will be watching me. He also read me the riot act about cheating on my wife as her name was not phone according to my friend. We am well known to the many of the cops that work in my area as we am part of the neighborhood watch in our area and I own a local business in the area. Also some of my family are cops in near by cities. And of course I am a very close friend to the cop that warned me. This effectively outed me but not my wife. Now what I need to know what is the legal risk I now face sense LE is now watching me and they many of them know who I am. Also my wife and I have babysat her kid while she made her living. Is there any way I or my wife could be charged with pandering for that? We were never payed or anything. I have a appointment with a criminal law attorney next week but looking for as much information as I can get before hand. I live in Utah if that helps. Thanks.
P.S. I told him nothing. I did not admit anything or lie to him I just asked what was on the phone and thanked him for the warning. He did not press me for information but told me he could not protect me. I am a bit scared. Because if I am not in some kind of trouble why would he say he could not protect me from it.
Now, could you get inveigled into all kinds of mischief given all the social connections involved.
Avoiding those problems is going to take some doing.
(still not a lawyer)
as the fact my phone number is on a vice watch list has already reached my father and who know who else. I have been fully outed. But your advise on keeping my mouth shut is good and I plan on keeping it.
I used to live in Utah and I know how LE is in that state. Because they have very little to do with their time, they are an even bigger pain in peoples ass. Especially since people in that state seem to be extremely good at keeping up with appearances. The laws are geared around the moral beliefs of the majority of people living there, which could only happen in that state lol. I highly recommend an attorney and lay low for a while. I'm sorry that this is happening to you.
I think you are making the right moves to minimize the damage. Based only on the information in her phone, it would seem unlikely that there is a case against you. It is good that you did not make a statement which might compromise your friend/contact. The warning that he "could not protect you", tells you that you should protect yourself... by retaining & using legal representation. Do not read too much into it.
You may get outted, either publically or within the PD. What ever is done is done.
Best Wishes,
skb
My cousin who works as a cop in a near by city found out that my number has been added to the vice watch list as a possible john. With this I am sure all my cop friends know. My cousin hates anything to do with the hobby and hates me I am sure he will spread this as far as he can knowing I will not report him for fear of family backlash. He also told my father and who knows who else. I am as good as fully outed. Good thing my wifes involvement is not known or things would be much worse. This has been a bad month.
most guys who like to be slipped into are afraid to be outed for being gay, being outed as a heterosexual male who likes to have sex is no great disgrace. I would not worry about it, most men do the same thing and could care less about you. And now the ladies know that you are a stud.
Your cuz sounds like an ass hole, I guarantee you that he also fucks around. The guys with the biggest mouths are the first ones to sneak out and do those things they loudly condemn. For example, the ministers who hate gays are being butt fucked behind closed doors, the evangelists who condemn cheating are found in motels with their cock in some sweet thing"s mouth. I could go on all day but I have an urgent appointment for some of the same....
It's tuff being a man, so throw back your shoulders, stick a roll of toilet paper in your tight worn blue jeans and head off to the family reunion! With a little luck you will end up fucking your cousin's wife in the bathroom!
Let him put that on his list!
The problem with an escort who takes copious notes about her clients is just what you have here, a lot of trouble for nothing. I always opt for an escort who is illiterate.
Now that you have been outed you have no choice but to live with it, of course you can always move but probably not worth the trouble. Your cop friend took a big risk as he could be prosecuted for his leak, keep his indiscretion quiet, although I notice you also take notes. Let’s hope your TER handle is not in her notes.
That your wife’s plays an active sexual part in these threesomes is so far unknown to the cops is to your benefit. Take the rap to your rep and protect hers, this sort of thing goes out easily and next thing you know your kids will be hearing about it in the school halls.
As far as the babysitting goes, I don’t see any problem developing from that unless you were in the same room having sex with the mom and your description seems rather innocent. Babysitting for a criminal is not a crime and I think it would be a stretch to say that your wife facilitated the escort’s illegal activities when we do not even have evidence that the escort’s activities were illegal. Even if the escort notes the name of the babysitter next to her client meeting notes, I doubt this would incriminate your wife, unless your wife, unknown to you, was taking part in these meetings. (This does not seem to be the case)
It is very sad that adults who want to ramp up their sex life and mutually pursue orgasmic release together with a third party should be subject to police intervention. Your sexual relations and activities with your wife involved are in the benefit of society which condemns divorce and holds the continuation of matrimonial relationships to be the basis for a successful community.
With any luck this whole thing will blow away and just be a bad memory. Ever consider out of the area swingers parties?
I know my friend took a big risk and I will tell know one that he warned me in any way easily linked back to me. My escort friend did not know my TER handle as she did not have a internet connection or a computer. A client of hers (not me or my wife) posted her ads for her. I am safe in that area and also she did not have my hobby, personal or work email addresses. I talked to her in person today when she stopped by at my business and she told me all she had in her phone on me is my whole real name; home, personal cell, hobby cell, and work cell phone numbers; my address and the the next scheduled professional visit. I will always do what ever it takes to protect my wife and plan on taking the full rap. My wife has much more to lose as many people expect the man to cheat but it is much less tolerable in my family for the women to do so. And she also has a bit more to hide than I do lets leave it at that. The funny thing is now I have been outed no one but me has told my wife about it but I know many of our friends and family now know that I have hobbyed. I wounder how long tell someone spills the beans and who it is going to be.
Her kid is my kid's best friend, my wife and her went shopping together, our family had family outings with her and her daughter together, and her daughter often spent the night at my house when her mother was working late. This is not just a provider client relationship our family has with her but a real life friendship with the escort who had my real phone number and got busted. That is why she had more than my hobby phone. Most of the other ladies I have seen only have my hobby phone number and/or email address.
There are a few providers I am friends with, outside of just checking references. We go shopping together ect. ect, but I never give them my real phone number on the off chance they would put it in their hobby phones. Since you are her friend advise her to get a phone that has changeable password protected home screens(the type that master reset if the password is put in wrong too many times) if she is going to keep records in her phone, or be like me and don't save phone numbers.
I just gave a disertation on the importance of hobby phones on a local board. I know you are personally involved with her, but I think you see now why they are important. I won't see gentlemen who don't use them.
where family tree is a circle?
And very funny making fun of the stupid person who has been outed because of the carelessness of his even less intelligent friend.
Sounds to me as though you have an established freind of the family. She has your phone number
So do all your other friends. She just happens to be a provider. Your wife is a witness to this perfectly normal thing called freindship. That in itself goes a long way.
If you had "cheated" & "you & your wife were working through it". Affairs are often with people close to us... sometimes family or close aquaintances... Just your phone number does not prove that you knew she was a provider... just that she was single & available. Maybe you just a fling or a rough patch. In any event, if you claim you are working through this as a couple there is nothing to discuss further.
Maybe you need counciling visits?
Best Wishes,
skb
You were very unlucky. Thank you for sharing. Many others will benifit from your experience. I hope you can get some comfort & support out of this as well.
skb
Things are going to be OK. My reputation is taking a hit but that is probably deserved as I am guilty of seeing escorts both with and without my wife. It is amazing how quick gossip spreads. Yesterday I heard the rummer being spread among my employees. My wife and I where already going to counseling, so pretending to be working though things would not be difficult as there is some truth to it.
I think the best advise is to anticipate questions & decide on a set answer. Being tipped off is a great help because you'll not be ambushed with a surprise question. Changing your story is a suspicious tip off... Get your story straight. A decision must be made.
Are you guilty of being a friend to someone who needed friends (both of you)?
Or
Are you guilty of an indiscretion with the lady, which would need working through & couciling.
I suppose it could be both... just get the story straight & stick to it. You are not in court under oath. Don't get sucking into discussing a private matter outside of counciling (or your lawyer's office).
You have taken a hit & the suspicion will linger a while. It will take time to come back from this.
Take good care,
skb
We decided to go with the truth except we will leave out the parts involving sex and money. If we stick to the truth we can't easily be led off our cover. I had to own it with my father as he can read me to well and knows to much about things that happened in my marriage to buy less than the truth. He is disappointed in our behavior but he will keep my wife's and mine secret.The rumors are not as condemning as the truth so I can live with them. I can take any rumor about me as long as no one figures the whole truth about my wife as she has more to hide than I.
This whole mess is going to blow over. My wife has been doing damage control behind my back and showing some friends including some cop friends photos our last camp out in which the lady friend who happens to be an escort who the cops busted and got my number from and her daughter was present. My father went to bat for me and filed a complaint against my cousin. He is now in trouble for leaking confidential information. My lawyer said the watch list is a mile long and nothing to worry about as long as all they have is my name and phone number on an escorts phone especially since I can prove she is a family friend. I was told by him if anyone asks about this I should just tell how a friend got busted with my number in her phone. In other words the truth but not the whole truth. My friend in order avoid added charges of not being a licensed sex worker pled guilty. This is her third conviction she will likely will see jail time and ask that my wife and I take care of her daughter while she is in there. My wife and I agreed to do so as the child's father is on the run from the law and she knows us. Thanks for the advice and support. My reputation took a hit and rumors will circulate but nothing can really stop that and my wife's reputation is undamaged. It could have been worse.
What a terrible place.