Met a provider on a pay chat line.  we discussed money and activities while on the line.

We had talked om my cell phone about directions, but not activities or money.

Well, I drove by her place and it was a dump.  I called her and told her I was not comfortable with the location and said it would be better to call things off.

She freaked.  She said she had my licence plate number ( I drove fast, don't know if I believe this), and my cell phone number from caller ID.  She also said she recorded our conversation.  She wanted the money delivered to her in 1 hour or she said she'd call my wife, and find my employer through phone records and harass them.

She also said she'd call the cops and didn't care what happeded to her as long as I got ruined.

Do chat lines keep records?  Can she get these?  Because the conversation she says she recorded only has us talking about directions.  The chat line has the details.

She has called about 10 times to yell and harass.  I'm thinking she's just hoping to get the money, but I don't want to risk my wife finding out!

I told her she was blackmailing me, and she said she didn't care if the cops knew what she did as long as I got into trouble.

I've learned my lesson about going to providers who are not established.  But what should I do about her blackmail?

First, just change the cell phone number, and fast.  It is VERY unlikely she has any way to find your home based on your plate number  (and its doubtful she even has it). Nowadays, that info is very hard to obtain.

Second, do not even give her the chance to follow through on her threat and teach her a lesson about ever doing so.  Go visit the police and file a complaint.  Now. They'll investigate and pay a visit to her (which should scare the piss out of her).  If she does anything past that point (like follow through on her threat to ruin you), then she'll have "hanged" herself legally and will likely go to prison for extorting you.

Third: Relax.  Remaining calm is important.  If she calls your cell again, you might want to ask her what she'd think if you and the police were taping HER conversation right now.  I'll betcha she hangs up right then and there.

Just curious:  In the course of the chat and the phone conversation, how much information about you could she have obtained?

-- Modified on 11/10/2006 5:16:46 AM

She doesn't have much info at all from our phone conversations.  I feel very nervous about going to the police.  I just worry about my wife finding out.  She hasn't called in about 8 hours now.  I;ll keep you guys/gals updated on this situation.

Thanks glengarryleads.  I hope I have the balls to go to the cops if I have to.  Please advise further if you feel neccessary.

I did ask.  She wouldn't tell me.  Now, I know this may mean she knows nothing.  But, But, But, when it comes to the wife finding out, I can't trust my judgement.

With all due respect, I diagree with this advice.  If she's called 10 times, I doubt she intends to do anything. She just wants money.  Changing your phone number will only cause inconvenience and questions.  Either block her number or don't answer calls if you don't know the number on the ID.

If you go to the police it will likely backfire.  They will investigate and then there's a public record you don't want.

Most likely she's a drug addict in need of a fix and she'll leave you alone soon enough.  If you're really worried about bing discovered - offer her about half of what you were going to pay her just to leave you alone.  It may sound risky, but odds are the cash will shut het up.

My .02, FWIW

If it was me, I would just ignore her.  

It sounds unlikely she has your plate number. I also doubt she taped the conversation (and it some states that would be illegal).  Other than hassling u with phone calls to your cell phone, it sounds like there is little she can do. Eventually, she will just fade away.  Changing your number is a hassle but if u can do the in a way that does not cause u problems that might not be a bad idea although it likely is not worth the effort.

I would not offer any money.  It will just encourage her and give her the opportunity to learn more about u possibly.  I would not even talk to her again.

Hope it works out for you.

I doubt she has any information, but the more you interact with her the more likely she is to get some.  If you meet her somewhere to give her money she or a friend can get your license number then even if they don't have it now.  Also, giving her money once will probably encourage her to demand more and make your situation worse rather than better.

It's very unlikely that any file the police open on this woman will become a public record as someone else has suggested.  If police files were public records criminals would be able to learn all sorts of things about what the police know about them.  The records might (or might not) be discoverable in a civil suit and could become part of a public record if either of you faces a criminal trial, but if things ever reach that point your wife will surely have found out already.

The police have better things to do with their time, they are not going to want to spend hours or perhaps the days necessary to do anything - particularly when there does not seem to be enough evidence here to do anything;  I'd just tell her you have a recording of her blackmail messages; the penalty for blackmail is much more severe than soliciting; if she tells others, just deny and pass off as a crazy person who is pissed off that you cut in front of her for a parking space or at an intersection.

You could also have her number blocked from your phone so she cannot call you anymore