Legal Corner
Re: Harrassment from a client's SO
If she goes and sees the police - they won't do anything. If she talks to a lawyer about it - she'll say she doesn't have a case. Block her email and until she hears from a cop or lawyer - ignore is the best approach. This should be a no brainer - just block her emails. As for things like coming to TER - I'm sure it won't be the first time. If she does any other action - then she's opening herself up to get a threatening letter from the provider's lawyer who will know how to handle that specific action.
My ATF lady whom I've been seeing for a couple of years has just recently been receiving an ongoing number of harassing e-mails from the wife of a client she saw. The strange thing is that she saw him only once over a year ago and it is only now that the e-mails (3-4 a day) are arriving. She showed some of them to me and of course, together with the words bitch, slut, etc., there are threats of reporting her to the police, claims of wanting the money back that her husband had given her (since it was joint property), threats of reporting her to TER-
(a real question mark on that one), claims that they're now getting a divorce because of her, and so on. Since this lady does only e-mail contacts, there have been no phone calls to date, but she is a bit concerned. As a non lawyer who, however has two (2) laywers in the family I told her to just ignore the e-mails and not respond in any way. My ATF was wondering if she should e-mail back and try to explain that she didn't solicit the attention of the women's husband, and that as she understands it, she was not the only provider he has seen. OK- All you real and/or budding lawyers out there, give me your feedback so I can pass it on. What should she do?
I'm not a lawyer... but I have seen a few such situations. In one case, the lady went UTR... remains so today. This is an obivious hazzard of this occupation.
If the lady's email has been compromized, she should immediately change it. She should start phasing it in at once. In the meantime, what's she doing opening the emails? Some can be set to return a notice when opened. Most emails can forward to a new account. The simplest thing would be to block the sender... on both accounts.
If the guy really saw her, he has the rest of her contact information (phone, location). Hopefully, she's working from hotels so location should not be an issue. If her personal location has been compromised, she must move.
She should consider a new phone... call it her "direct line"... eventually eliminating the old one.
Let's hope that he's had the balls to not give up additional information. In all likelihood, his computer has been compromised only. This is probably just harrassment. Legally, there's not much to do, except be careful of her screening.
skb
unless she wants to be subpeonaed by the wife's attorney, she should do everything she can to make herself invisible.
Guys: There's a lesson in here for us: Don't ever leave a gal's contact info around where prying eyes can see it.
(still not a lawyer)
Dear Mrs Wotnot,
I'm very sorry to hear that you are having marriage difficulties. Generally speaking, I make it a policy not to date a married man. I don't recall your husband, perhaps you could let me have more details to help me identify him? If you can help me identify him, I assure you that I will not see him again, although I'm not sure how I can make this possible without your help.
If I did date your husband, I can only assume that he has lied to both of us for reasons of his own and I'm very sorry for the hurt this may have caused you.
Just a thought.
Swim
You get subpoenaed and appear at the divorce trial, then emails are found between you that clearly reveal that you knew he was married, or for that matter emails appear that show that you do see married men.
You're not looking so good then.
You have a right to remain silent. Use it.
(Still not a lawyer.)
My advice, as was topbossman, is to IGNORE the emails. If the wife had enough information to "get you" and is as angry as claimed, she would have contacted you directly ... by phone, snail mail, subpoena, etc. Sounds like an idle threat for the $$$ to be returned and just lip service. Not knowing the gentleman or the extent of his hobbying, it's hard to tell if you are the only one being contacted, or one of many. Ignore the emails, delete them before opening them (the comment that a "returned notice" is sent when it is opened is a sound one), and move on. Changing email addresses is also a wise idea.
Good luck.
(Not an Attorney, but I asked one for advice)
Don't reply/contact the wife.
Don't reply/contact the husband.
Hopefully, the wife will finish venting and stop.
By the way, the provider did NOTHING wrong.
The husband may have cheated on the wife, but that is not the providers responsibility.
Let is go.
If she goes and sees the police - they won't do anything. If she talks to a lawyer about it - she'll say she doesn't have a case. Block her email and until she hears from a cop or lawyer - ignore is the best approach. This should be a no brainer - just block her emails. As for things like coming to TER - I'm sure it won't be the first time. If she does any other action - then she's opening herself up to get a threatening letter from the provider's lawyer who will know how to handle that specific action.
Potential hazard of this occupation.
Set the offending Emails to spam, create another Email account, slowly phase the other Email account out, and above all, do not respond. Response can show tangible association.
from another provider. Tell her to spam don't open email. Let it go int o the other emails of harrassment We sometimes are exposed to. There is nothing the lady(wife) can do. But a lesson to all you fellas. Please try to use a different email with passcodes your other half wouldn't figure out. Also watch the phone bills. As the wifes google our cell numbers. Be careful as much as We attempt to be with your info.
She should not under any circumstances respond to the e-mails. As most every other poster has said, change your e-mail, do not have any contact with the hobbyist in question and be very, very careful with your screening in the immediate future.
Remember even though you did nothing wrong, providing is still against the law and I would take her threat to report her to LE very seriously.
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