I had my first PSE experience the other day. it was deffinately different than the GFE experiances i am used to.

when the fun started we were DFKing and her shoulder length hair got into our mouths.

when i started to brush it to the side she said that her hair is all real (no extensions) and she wants me to pull it hard when i fuck her.

she then said she also wanted to be choked.

i mentioned that i have never done this before but she insisted that its no big deal and she would let me know when to let go.

the dfk got hot and heavy and she literally took my hands and put them on around her throaght.

when i released my grip she said keep going.
i then felt her squeeaze my wrist so i let go. she said i was squeezing to let you know to keep going.

i now know that before you engage in auto erotic exfixiation you should create a safe word, but we did not. it sort of just happened.

at one point im pretty sure she blacked out for a second, and when she came to she tried to cover for it by saying she was playing with me.


either way...

what would the ramifications be if something would happen in a situation like this. a guy with out any prior experiance, and a provider with tons. she brings up the idead and he goes allong with it.

im just thinking worse case scenario ?

First, a few corrections:

The word is "asphyxiation", and it means "to deprive someone of air".

Second, "autoerotic asphyxiation" cannot be really be done with someone because the "auto" part means that the person is doing it alone.  Usually, it involves the person hanging themselves, or breathing into a plastic bag, or some other method of depriving oneself of oxygen in order to cause sexual arousal.

Now, what you're talking about is simply "erotic asphyxiation" where one person chokes the other during sex.  You see it a lot in bondage movies and even in some non-BDSM ones.  Isabella Soprano was one of the pornstars I remember who said she liked being choked during sex and there may be others.  It's not something I'm into so I don't pay close attention to who likes it and who doesn't.

It's actually a very, very, dangerous practice.  And you should read the article linked below for more details.  

The worst case scenario: you deprive the person of air for too long and they either suffer brain damage, or die.  If she had died from you choking her during sex, you'd probably spend the rest of your life in prison.  I doubt you could convince the jury that "she asked for it" which would be your only defense - that she asked to be choked.  There'd be no evidence of it and the only one who could support your claim would be dead.  You might get lucky and be able to show email messages with her discussing it, or maybe a web page where she advertises it as being something she does during sessions in which case you might only get a manslaughter charge and only spend part of the rest of your life in jail.  

If she doesn't die but suffers brain damage, it would be treated as "aggravated assault" and in some areas the prosecutor might try to add "special circumstances" to the charge which means the punishment could be the same as if you actually killed her.  Or some prosecutor might decide to consider it an "attempted manslaughter" case.  And you wouldn't have much of a defense.

The bottom line is that if the other person dies or suffers serious injury while you're doing it to him/her, you will spend time in jail.  Lots of it.

One of the reasons why I'm not into this is because people who practice this, who truly get sexually aroused from being deprived of air, often enter a state of euphoria where they don't actually have the mental capacity to say "stop".  Death or brain damage is a very likely outcome of the practice.  It's even more likely when the person doing the choking is inexperienced and doesn't recognize the signs that his/her partner is in that state of euphoria and doesn't stop on his/her own.

Erotic asphyxiation is not something I recommend to anyone.

(ba-doom)

But seriously, this is BD/SM and is not for the amateur.

That said, I had one favorite whom I knew for many years and we really liked and cared for each other a lot.  She seemed to enjoy sex but never had orgasms, and I asked her what I could do to help her have one.

Hesitantly, she asked me to do real rough sex with her like pull her hair, slap her and gag her with my cock.  This is not the type of stuff I find fun, but out of some consideration for her I gave it a shot and bingo, orgasm completed.

And yes, she does have some issues from her family, etc., but whatever works for her also works for me.

Real asphixiation was not required, just that I place my hands around her neck and shake her a bit.  Real asphixiation I would never do for safety reasons alone.

thanks for the link

  I am glad curb has had a new experience and shared it with us. Those of us who have tried to get our wives to practice erotic exfixiation, not necessarily for the climax but looking for a way to avoid divorce will do best to heed mrfrench’s excellent analysis, although I am sure that if OJ tries it his jail time will be short.

  A good lawyer should be able to get the jurors to try it for themselves in the hope of arriving at a hung jury and in this way get the defendant off, or at least some of the jury. Thanks to both of you for filling our day with visions of happy dead sex partners laying in their own juices or pondering a jail sentence for want of a simple sentence like “stop.” And I though “Kill Bill” was about samurai sword fights, who knew?

If a person is choking or you are choking them, they are in no position to tell you to stop.

Sign language can be better but it is risky and things can go to far or get out of hand in a hurry. Many times the recipient does not recognize his / her own limits until it is too late.

I have read in the news a few instances where death has occurred with this type of play. Many times prosecutors will go for the lowest murder charge like involuntary manslaughter or something. I don't know but maybe ask a lawyer to draft a document and have her sign it with a witness present and a secondary document from a medical professional stating she is of sound mind, spirit and judgment at the time of signing. That might cover all your bases?

I also would not characterize this as a PSE experience but more of a domme / sub / bondage experience.

Either way the risk is too much to get involved for me at least.

I've dabbled in BDSM and know quite a few people in the lifestyle.

It's probably inaccurate to use the term "safe word".  Many people who engage in BDSM activities often play with gags, hoods, or other devices which prevents speaking.  The correct term would be more "stop signal" than "safe word".  A "stop signal" is anything you and your partner agree on beforehand that will immediately stop all play.  It can be anything - grunting, snapping fingers, blinking eyes,... anything.

But the reason it works is because of one single word: trust.  The people who engage in BDSM build up trust between each other which allows them to know, without any possible doubt, their partner has enough control over themselves to use the "stop signal" if it's necessary, or to recognize and react to the "stop signal" given by their partner even in the midst of play.

This kind of extreme BDSM  (gagging, choking, etc. ) is NOT something that you should do with an escort, a total stranger, a casual sex partner, a fuckbuddy... or anyone you don't trust completely and implicitly.  Essentially, it MUST be someone that you would trust with your very life because that's exactly what you are doing.  It's not for casual partners but for serious, long-term, well-known and well-trusted partners.

I know one hobbyist called over and over again for over a year asking me to choke him. He offered to write a note that gave me permission and proclaiming it was not my fault or murder or manslaughter if he happened to die while I was choking him. I had to 'take a pass' but I mentioned several girlfriends and they all also declined. One declined saying, "200.00! That's not enough for commissary!"

                           so it is never a good idea even if happens to be a lot of fun.

Now there is a Florida post regarding providers and do they have the right to 'take a pass' at the last moment or is she obligated to complete a session once her client has arrived at the door. I teach my new girls that under no circumstances should she/he, hobbyist as well, continue on in session or with a client once she has an instinctual awareness that something is wrong, not right or that she is in danger. I take it even farther and claim both providers and hobbyist should and can, no foul, stop a session whenever it seems best even if they are naked and in the act.

No provider or hobbyist should allow themselves to participate in any act that they don't WANT to do or be a part of. They should stop immediately upon realization that they WANT to stop.

I HOPE MOST OF UN KNOW THAT