I have power of attorney for an elderly relative that was widowed 3 years ago.  He has had a stroke and the right side of brain doesn't work, several heart attacks, insulin dependent diabetic, dementia, and severely depressed and grieving still his wife.

I came into being power of attorney because he wasn't handling his finances, not paying his taxes,  power bill or loan payment he has against his home, and basically was spending all his retirement and social security on scratch off lottery tickets. (something he voted against when he was in his right mind before stroke)  

I had to have his drivers license removed first, because everybody was telling me that he was running them off the road in his small, pulling out in front of people and scaring everybody in town.

I had to remove him from his home because he was not bathing, his house was filthy with hoarding junk, there would be shit on his sheets and he always smelled like he had just stepped in dog shit.  And several emergency room trips where he mixed up his 21 pills a day that he takes.  I had him well taken care of in an apartment type assisted living.  Over the course of the past few years he faked several dizzy spells to go to hospital just to manipulate me and ask me to come back home.  He basically wanted me to take care of him 24-7.  He falls all the time and a very large man that I cant even pick up.  And he is not in his right mind mentally.  Well, he faked an illness and made me come home from my vacation early and they were about to release him from the hospital.  Well, right before they were going to release him he come down with pneumonia that was critical and he almost died.  Due to his previous stroke and paralysis on one side, he could not walk when he did recover and was in a wheel chair.  I had to send him to a nursing for 4 months for rehab where the nursing home took every dime of his, all his retirement all his social security.  Even though he has Medi-care and AARP supplemental insurance.

Due to the nursing home taking all his funds, I moved into his home and started doubling up on his loan payment, since last Sept.  And I have spent 16, 000 of my money since Sept of last year.  That I have not quitclaim deed yet

I got him out of the nursing home, but he couldn't go back to his apartment because he couldn't do certain things for himself,  so I got him in a full care assisted living.  And it basically took all his funds from retirement and social security to just pay for home, medicine, supplemental insurance.  I have been paying everything else like property taxes, home repairs to the house is livable.  I had to change that home to another home because he is old, mean and racist and black couple ran the home and he kept his caregiver in tears all the time.  So I thought, thinking I was doing the right thing.  I will get him back to his home town where his friends, church and people love him will be close and can visit with him and help with his depression.  I have moved to his home town,  4 miles around the corner from me, where I live in his home.  Big Mistake!  Keep in mind that I couldn't pay my bills and his and this 15 acre farm with be mine to split with one other heir one day.  So I let my place go to save his.

If you are still with me, this where I need the lawyer advice.  Since I moved him back to his hometown this year, a couple at the end of the road, that had just befriended him after his wife died.  The couple are both younger than me.  The man is a builder.  They started visiting him at the assisted living and taking him to their church.  No red flags from me, I trusted them, they were church folks.  Then they got to where they were picking him up every Wed night church, Sunday morning church, then Sunday night church.  

A few weeks ago, the house called me to tell me his payment wouldn't auto-draft and that I owed her a medicine bill for $333.  So I called the bank, and they told me this lady (the church lady younger than me) had been bringing him by every Thursday to draw out money.  Then the caregiver at the hosue starts talking to me that this church lady has been sitting in his lap, open mouth kissing him and calling him daddy.  And told that lady he adopted her.  Okay, red flags are up now.  So I sign that he can have no visitors, that something is twisted and doesn't feel right.  The next morning I get there to take him for a doctors apt and the church man is there.  he has just found out that Joe cant leave with him.  I take my relative to the doctor who compassionately listend to him about moving home.  The doctor tells him that he requires around the clock care and I had already checked into and it would 11,000 a month.  He didn't like what the doctor said.

The very next day, the church lady escapes my relative out of the assited living, and speeds off before he can shut the door, which knocks down another elderly man and takes him to close out his bank acct, and reopen a new bank account with their two names on acct. and from what I understand, they have signed some kind of papers that I don't know what it is yet.  So, I have been forced to get a lawyer because of all this drama, to have him declared mentally incompetent, nullify anything they submitted to Superior Court.  So, my lawyer gets to digging on these church people that are like holiness, long bad permed hair.  And it turns up this couple got 7 farms from an elderly man that was no relative of theirs.  This woman had a company separate from her husbands, where she borrowed 1.5 million dollars and defaulted after transferring either the land or the money (I cant quit remember) to her husbands company for 0 dollars.  and now her company doesn't exist but they still have all the money and some of the farms.  
 
My lawyer is now referring this to the GBI for criminal.  I have had to close my business down this week which has just about destroyed me financially.  The other heir has missed school and his coaching duties.  I am wanting to sue the hell out of these folks.  And trust me, I am not the kind looking for a check without working for it.  I want to be reimbursed by these criminals that sucked in an elderly man that was grieving and turned him against his own relatives  because he is not in his right mind.  What kind of dollar amount should I ask, and do I have a case against these church swindlers that want my rightful farm and trying to get it by sexually seducing a physically and mentally incompetent man?  Do I have a case for the mental anguish and my business about destroyed

this advise.  Swindlers use any disguise to do their dirty work.  They are clearly not people of God.
I was scammed by church people once...  thankfully they only sold me a car with a blown engine.

so a probate judge interrupted a hearing yesterday morning, early to sign for injuncitive restraining order to get him back in my custody, who I have had continual bond, and the medical emergency of him not having his medications for days.  We send a sherriff that actually knows him, and tells him his grandchildren are waiting on him and he happily gets into the car like nothing has happened.  Meets me down the street, and now he is at his grandboys house, where they are already paycheck to paycheck, 4 small children.  And his account is drained and closed.  The other relative has never had any money to help and can barely feed their own.  And now, because I am not a person of means, my business acct is drained of day to day business where I have never needed a loan to operate since the beginning 4 years ago.  I think I deserve a fucking farm from those freaks

From what you have said it seems you have criminal, probate and civil causes of action.  

In Arizona while I usually disagree with our AG Horne being aggressive on prostitution cases, they have handled elder abuse cases and will take complaints by phone initially although will have to follow up with detailed complaint I believe.   Not ever State is as aggressive from the AG's office.

Some states also have an elder abuse section.

You may also be able to file a theft report or fraud with local police.  

Civil attorneys don't usually get too involved but if you can get the attention of AG office, any Elder Abuse office of State or local police - you don't pay any lawyer fees.

At least in Arizona if the AG takes the case they can also order restitution.

Of course the disadvantage as it may take many years of investigation and fights in Court if the good Church people hire a good defense lawyer.

Obviously my view is State should do more on these types of cases vs consenting adult private sexwork where the State lists the "victim" as the State!  There are no other victims unlike your case.

when that cult church got him to buy a thousand dollar brick for their church building fund and he wasn't even paying his own bills.  I should have declared him mentally incompetent but he is a very prideful man and I wanted to try to keep his dignity.  He is very sick and I have tell him its' inappropriate to talk to me about his deceased wife's sex life and how often, and disgustingly he tried to tell me details!  While we are waiting for the doctor to come in the examination room just the other day.  He complained to the doctor that the assisted living was mean to him, but the fact is this woman is tuff and knew how to handle him without sedating him.  When he would pray over the meal then say God-damn in the next breathe, she would treat him like a child and tell him "what do you mean calling yourself a preacher and talking like that? now, go to your room and pray"  She said he would come out and apologize.  And then he told the doctor they wouldn't let him in the kitchen (it's because he falls down and its a danger around the stove)  And the doctor smiles and said "well, you pay them all that money, make them wait on you!"

This feels so unreal, I am so naïve and trusting.  And I am so angry at him, and have a hard time remembering that it's not really him anymore, that he is like a 8 year old child throwing a tantrum.  I had to see him last night because I forgot to take the insulin out of the refrigerator when I dropped him off and my relatives.  And he gets out the vehicle while I am talking to my relative that has him until this blows over in a couple of weeks.  And he stumbles out of the vehicle and acts like he is going to hit me with his cane.  

He is very sick, left side critical thinking all the time, he is obsessed with money and wants to buy lottery tickets (I assume that does something for his depression).  He thinks, in his sick mind, that if he can just get enough money, everything will be alright.  And these sick ass cult church people tell him all the time, WE GOT MONEY!  I checked her facebook profile, and it was public and these swindlers have been all over Europe this year.  And I have to close my business again tomorrow to go and talk to his doctor, tell him the whole story and see if he is behind me on the psychological evaluation and still help him keep his dignity to not just give up.

And the operator of the assisted living is signing affidavit when this church lady threw a temper tantrum and told her that Joe left all the belongings to her.  This is fucking unreal that I have paid $16,000 to help him and another 5,000 for a lawyer.  And these people have money and a cult church behind them saying that I neglected him by putting him in a home.  Now, to me neglecting him would be to leave him to his own devices smelling like shit, not eating, not bathing, and giving all his money away.

-- Modified on 10/27/2013 8:02:01 AM

If your business is providing then I don't think a court will order restitution, LOL!!  Mental anguish, maybe.  The problem is these "church people" could twist your occupation (just as is done with child custody cases) to claim you are unfit.
I agree, he's not his real self and unfortunately likely will seldom be and then only for brief moments.  Yes, all sorts of inappropriate things said & done.  This is a thankless job.  I'm glad other family members are helping with the care if not the finances.  
Of course, these people are scammers & thieves.  There are a lot of businesses that include transferring assets & bankruptcies as a plan.  It should be illegal but they get away with it.

Now you must know that even if he transfers his property to you or a family member now that the Federal programs go back 3 years.  I'm afraid that old men are vulnerable to predators...  

Use the internet to search for Elder Abuse advocates in your state.  You are doing the right things.  It will just take time.

In early 2006, Congress decided, as part of the Deficit Reduction Act (“DRA”), that three years wasn’t long enough, and increased that to five years.  It was then up to the states to implement that change in the law.

that has nothing to do with providing.  I have taken a 4 year break from providing, it was too much for me mentally with dealing with my relatives lewd behaviour, inapproiate sexual jokes, and exposing himself to me.  This is why he cannot live with me, I am not mentally prepared and need a professionals help.

I believe my lawyer is doing several things or me with the mental impontency and having the property transferred into his 2 heirs names.  And I have a feeling my relative is going to live a long time, he has a lot of will and comes back everytime and has previously died twice.  He may outlive me, and not even matter I didn't transfer the property earlier.  But I hated talking about money to him, and just never felt right and I didn't want him to worry.  So I flat out told him in the doctors office the other day about how much I paid down on his loan, forgetting I am talking to a crazy person.  He thanks me, then asks me if he can come to work with me one day a week, and I needed to pick either Wed or Sun to take him to that cult church.  It's craziness, he escapes the next day!  something you would never think would happen to yourself.

It has become very clear to me this couple want to move him into their home, get everyting of his, then kill him with his meds.

-- Modified on 10/28/2013 6:16:08 AM

and I decide that I can't hold out this economy and need to sale at some point before the market returns because these rich cult leaders keep me tied up in court.  Or, if I just want to sale, split with the heir, and buy another house with no memories.  Is the money froze for 5 years anyway?  if I have to have him committed as his disease progresses.

-- Modified on 10/28/2013 6:31:30 AM

If he owned a home, the asset could be sold to pay for his care.  But the house was transferred out of his name within the X year period.  So he has no assets & the SS will have to pay BUT they can reach back & insist on repayment until the value is exhausted.  Essentially the Gov considers this hiding assets.  My suggestion is to sell the property & put the assets in a trust for him.  
Even in nursing care, there are things which are not covered.  Any payments would have to come from the trust & be authorized by the trustee, which he isn't...  except for a tiny allowance account...  a few bucks for ice cream & haircuts.  My wife is a trustee on a relative's daily account...  but any large expenses must go through the lawyer & be signed off.  Yourself & other heirs would be the eventual benificiaries if there are any funds left.  

The upkeep costs of his property will eat you alive & you'll still not own it.  So could lose the whole thing to a tax sale or his expenses.  

Get rid of the idea that this is for you.  Try to figure out how to keep him from outliving his nest egg.  I've made so boneheaded moves.  It's not about making money on the money.  It's about preserving the principle to the best extent possible.

will a quitclaim deed protect my personal money I have paid out of my pocket for loan payments, new central heat/ac until, new dishwasher and new stove, eletrical bll for new breaker box, and plumbing?  Also, I need to add a roof, I have just had it patched where it was leaking around a light fixture in one bathroom.  do I have any recourse to protect my personal money I financed?  If the house ends up with Medi-caid, if they step in one day.  Or should I sell as is, move out and cut my losses now if there is no recourse for me to quitclaim deed?  And I feel like I am giving my power up by selling, that's what that builder church freak wants, he will probably try to buy so he can put houses every acre down my road.  Like his end of the road.

Thank you, a lawyer is a phychiatrist!  I apprciate you taking the time to offer some sound advice.

-- Modified on 10/28/2013 11:24:29 AM

-- Modified on 10/28/2013 11:46:06 AM

Well, you did not tell us that you have a vested interest in protecting your other property from the development of the farm.  Yes, if it's sold, the scum bags can swoop in & buy it even indirectly and get to make a killing on developing the property.
   
It would be best if we could divorce our own feelings from what is just a dollars & sense business proposition.  I sold my beach house a few years ago.  It wasn't useful to me any longer & it was apparent that sooner or later it would be sold.  I decided I'd make the money on it rather than leaving it for my children to sell.  I didn't get as much as if I'd renovated the place...  it needed a roof among other things...  but I'd probably have spent more to renovate & no guarantee the next owner wouldn't raze the place & build new on the site.  

Again I think you need to talk with your lawyer & maybe a realtor...  evaluate the options...  cost / benefit.  And how vulnerable your stake is?  You must keep your receipts for now but making improvements in property that is not yours is a good way to lose your money.  (Says me who carried my ex's place, repaired & improved, and lost it all.  The way the deed was written left me with no claim.  I figure it cost me 50k.  What a shmuck I was!)  

Now if you buy the farm at something reasonably close to fair market value, put his money in a trust, separate from your own...  use the trust for his expenses...  now other relatives will think you stole it but all heirs will get their share of his estate when that sad day comes...  but you keep it out of the hands of the developers.  Or you develop it yourselves & reap the profits for doing so, instead of letting some scum make the money.  NOTHING is forever (unless you give it to Nature Conservancy).  

But don't be a shmuck like me!    

The house was vacant for a year, and I got a fair market value appraisal to sell, and also I appealed his property taxes after catching them up.  In this economy, and the fact the house needed some work (not a money pit) I started working my ass off getting rid of junk, all the attic stuff (Christmas decorcations) the bags would just disintegrate when I picked the up.  Varments had gotten into the house while it was vacant, and I killed a family of mice and a fucking snake that come in to eat the mice!  And got rid of all the hoarding junk in his home and shop.  And worked on the leaves which had not been gotten up in about 11 years, planted grass where it died.

He did live in his house for a full year after his wife died.  I helped him get a loan to bury his wife, then I realized how bad he was mentally because he never would complete her resting place with pebbles, borders, and headstone and he loved his wife more than anything on this earth.  Nor, did he make any loan payments that he told me he would double up and pay off a year, not one payment.  So I completed the grave with my money and got a headstone.  As time went on, I realized how much his wife hid and how much she done for him and it was not possible to stay in the home.

So here I am now, with a crazy, criminal couple that have stepped in, and it's none of their business and they have no clue what all I have done and I am sure they poisoned him against me every chance.  

I will come back and let you know how it goes.  Thank you.

-- Modified on 10/29/2013 5:27:20 AM

It is only if he runs out of assets and goes on Medicaid does the 5 years look back period apply.  But if transferred home to you and bought another the State could probably sue you to recovery the value transferred if within 5 years of I believe its the date in most states that Medicaid is applied for.  

Exact rules vary by State.

I just pray that I have made the right decisions, with everything regarding his health and finances.  Waiting on his doctor to call me back and I just keep adding to my list of him shitting in a bucket instead of the bathroom.  The lying tall-tales (no police report) where he tells me the same story every time I see him, saying he knocked out 14 teeth from a black man that was arguing with his white girlfriend in a Waffle House.   And, the mixing up of his medications, causing TIA's before I removed him from his home.

God help me, my life is insane.

-- Modified on 10/29/2013 9:57:07 AM

and filed something with DEFACS saying I neglected him.  I do know they are shitty and I will watch my back forever.  If they thought I had neglected him, why didn't they come talk to me as a neighbor?  I don't go to church, but that's what I would do if I was concerned in a small town before I would stick my nose in somebody elses business.  T

The whole town is already quizzical of "outsiders' like them that have only been around a few years.  And they have taken him away from his Methodist church where he was lay leader and Sunday school teacher for 40 years!  And now the town gossip has started, which I can't participate because of the investigation.  And the bank loan officer sent a teller that knows me, to come by my home last night to find out why his account was closed because he knows I pay the bank loan.  Also, the teller told me these people don't have money anymore.  They are desperate.

I was naïve, because I couldn't rent the house out in the shape it was in; I moved in myself for the past year, giving all my extra time to cleaning out the clutter and making his home repairs.  I have a detailed spreadsheet with every receipt from the beginning of this family crisis.   What my money was spent on, what his money was spent is documented in detail.  

I had originally seen an real estate attorney with the other relative in the beginning that advised us to not sell, or the money would go into a trust.  And because his income didn't meet all his expenses, I took the risk and moved in.  Agreed verbally for the sale of x dollars of appraisal with the other heir (and I would quitclaim deed all improvements for my own protection)  and anything I sale above the appraisal one day is mine for the time and effort of improvements.  We procrastinated  on the elderly will with another attorney, because he was wanting to move home.  Also, he was keeping all my time involved with real illnesses and faked illnesses.  But I do have a notebook of his I packed from the assisted living, in his own hand writing that he wishes me to be executor of his will,  with the option to buy out the other heir.  

At least the newspaper today gave both sides.  They are saying his relatives wanted nothing to do with him, and they were seeking permanent visitation.   And  saying they bought him clothes at goodwill because I wouldn't buy him clothes.  I did take a picture of his closet before packing his things, to show it was full.  And I am saying they are real estate developers trying to swindle him out of his property and assets that I have been protecting and paying.

All I can say is stupid me!  I thought that holiness church was making him happy and he was so depressed, and the fact I had previously taken him to his Methodist church a few times, and he had so many resentments and he couldn't remember his own neighbor.  He was mad at the preacher for taking away his lay leader (but he was babbling towards the end, not making sense and the cussing from his dementia).  And they were all so kind for bringing him, and telling him hello and he was just walk away mad.

What else could I have done?  My health is failing me, and for what?    and my business is suffering, and for what?  He is miserable at the other relatives house, they are sleeping on their couch while he is in their bed and sleeps all day long.  His Social Security goes in Friday, but it's not enough to get him into another place (and he has to ride with me to get it) until his retirement hits in the middle.  Everybody is miserable, and he wants to go back to the home and they won't have him.  I am at square one with finding a place, for what?  Greedy, shitty motherfuckers that want to develop this farm.  They have been on him since his wife died, and in his right mind he would have seen through this scam

but I am so relieved to just lay all this out before the experts and professionals to tell me what to do, and if it's time for a nursing home.  I made mistakes that I should have handled early on when he was clearer, but I am ready to just move on and get my sanity back and take my power back for my own life.  I will not abandon my promise to my beloved to not chop any trees down on his property,  I also shared my desire with him to plant a pecan orchard where the field is now leased for hay.   I am just ready for the professionals to work this out.  And if the government puts a lien on it one day, then I just will have to face the fact I screwed up but done the best I could at the time.  Thank you for listening, and we all no there will be no winners but peace I do hope for and need.

-- Modified on 11/3/2013 10:47:15 AM