I'm setting up a meeting with a new provider with no reviews. A member of this site with dozens of reviews and White List referrals however, has vouched for her.  She's a couple hours away in  but has agreed to come see me.  She's asked that I send her 50% of the fee up front and given me her home address to mail a credit card gift card.

but with dealing with someone with zero reviews, that's the name of the game, especially where a deposit is concerned.

If this hobbyist is someone you feel can really be trusted, then it's probably OK.  If you have doubts about him, then I'd stay away.

to earn it...  you have no where to complain to if she suddenly stops communicating with you.  in general, this is a cash face to face game we play.  While there are exceptions, newbies should avoid exception situations.  Much better for you to go to her...  or enough to pay for her transportation only.  2 hours away?  You need to go to her or find someone closer.  

LE is not going to drive two hours out of their jurisdiction to bust you on a simple charge of solicitation. OTOH, this woman may decide to simply keep your deposit rather than drive two hours to earn the other half of her money as well. That's what I would be worried about.

Why are you reaching out to providers that are a two hours drive away from you in the first place? I can see why a woman would not want to commit to a four hour drive with assurances that it won't be a complete waste of an entire day if you flake out, but aren't there other women closer to you?

Thanks for the input Harbor, but I actually have sprung for the VIP membership so the experienced hobbiest was able to PM me.  Normally I would agree with everything you said, but this guy has like 75+ reviews and has been white listed by a few dozen women.  

Thanks for the input Gaga.  I can only say that the kind of woman I like can sometimes be pretty hard to find where I am.  Don't want to give anyone's info away so can't really say more.

first off let me say I would never send a deposit myself, BUT in light of what you are asking her to do, ie Drive two hours on only the "promise" of an appointment. I can certainly understand why she would require one.

IMO, you have to balance the credibility of the reviewer that speaks highly of her, versus the risk of her being a no show after pocketing your money. One suggestion might to be to ask her to reduce the amount of her deposit thus making it more profitable for her to actually show up rather than getting half the money for doing absolutely nothing. Keep one other thing in mind, you cannot review a no show, there has to be an actual session for you to review her, and as she is already an unknown, you don't have much leverage on her if she decides to simply pocket your money.

I am not trying to make your decision for you, just pointing out some relative facts. Good luck

OK, so you have a real referal.  That's worth a lot more.  It's still a long drive but this does change things.  The risk is reduced but not eliminated.  She has an experienced provider mentoring her.  I'd go to her, preferably, but I would not rule it out.  It's a lot of effort.  
Remember this is a pay for Play date...  you're not expecting a log trm relationship.  This is not match . com or a marriage site.  I'd actually suggest a #2 or #3 choice...  your nerves will be bad enough without your first choice.  
Incedentally, i find it best to rotate among a small group of favorite ladies...  

Thanks again Harborview.  I'm actually really impressed with the way you more experienced guys are genuinely concerned with this.  So sincerely thanks for that.  Since I posted I've discovered another hobbyist who has vouched for her so now I'm up to two real guys and the experienced provider she doubles with telling me she's legit.  I still may back out, but I'm inclined to give it try.

Thanks Gaga, as I mentioned to Harborview, I'm really impressed with how you guys are looking out for your fellow hobbyists.  So thanks for that.  I may ask her to reduce the deposit, that's not a bad idea.  Truthfully, the way my nerves work I'm always more worried about LE than anything else.

An email is not an agreement in writing, maybe for those celebrity court TV shows but not in a real court of law. You would need a legally binding agreement with her signature, real name, address and phone number to be enforceable in court.

Well said Gavia.  Your last paragraph nails it:  "It pretty much comes down to how much money you are willing to lose, because if you send a deposit and she no shows, that money is gone forever."

Not to mention, Jula's advice was a bit out there, unless you are going to get Judge Judy to hear your case, you have no idea who to even serve a formal complaint on the matter. I wish I could give her the BOD and say that maybe she was just joking, but I think we all know better than that

Hey, at least MOST of the advice you have received here was good. lol

An e-mail (or better, a chain of e-mails) can form the basis of a binding contract.  

You dare to question the genius of the great Julia aka Corrine? How dare you!

Despite the advice of my wiser brethren here, I decided to go ahead and send a Visa gift card to the provider.  I sent it Express Mail so I could track it and get a signature confirmation.  The package was delivered this morning.  She has acknowledged receiving it, was very thankful.  So at least so far she hasn't disappeared.  I will be meeting her next week and will post what happens if you guys are curious to know.

The first thing you have to do when making a claim is serve notice on the other party, and by serving notice I don't mean to "sally rotten crotch"  you have to legally serve notice with the person's full legal name in order to even start the process.

Julia's advice was ridiculous and if it were another poster most of us would have written it off as a bad joke, but in her case, given her history of giving VERY BAD; advice, we all know she meant every word of what she said.

Please don't double down on stupid by trying to defend her moronic post. You and her are starting to sound like the guy who called hotel security because someone stole his ounce of blow, I am sure you can guess how that story ended

and although I would never have done so myself, I will repeat that I don't blame her a bit for asking for the deposit as she is making at least a four hour driving commitment to you, and you are a relative unknown. So unlike many ROB's who ask for deposits without any intention of every fulfilling, she has justification for her request.

This in no way guarantees that she will show, but it improves the odds IMO.

Good luck

I agree - her idea was stupid for a number of reasons, not the least of which would be that it could potentially serve as an admission.

First of all, thanks to all the TER brothers who generously offered their sage advice.  Against their (and my) best instincts I went ahead and sent a deposit to an unreviewed provider last week with plans for her to drive two hours from her location and see me today.

I can understand her wanting to protect HER interests, just as you want to protect yours.  So long as you understand the risk you are taking & can afford the loss if it blows up on you.  There can be no guarentees but you did all you could to assure a good outcome.  
Glad it worked out.
H

You're not a legal expert? Huh.  

Posted By: JuliasLittleSecret

Actually, there have been a few cases where providers have sued hobbyists for failure to pay for services delivered and they were awarded the amount due based on e-mail/text evidence.  I don't know of any hobbyist who has sued to have a deposit refunded for failure to deliver services, but if sexual services were never discussed in the correspondence, I don't see why it would be an issue to pursue a refund.  
   
 I'm obviously not a legal expert, but I have had more exposure (on the right side of the law) than most, so I do have a basis for what I am speaking to.  
   
 As for my history of VERY BAD advice, you are certainly entitled to your opinion.  I fully realize that not everyone will appreciate my input, and that's completely okay by me...but there are also a few people who actually do, much to your disappointment.    
   
 xo