As a youth, with only a fuck in my pocket, it was commonplace to take a date for a “fike” in the park. For those of you who have never hear that expression, a ”fike” is a hike and a fuck. I spent the greater part of my time between 12 and 20 scrubbing grass stains off my shorts, so it came as a vivid reminder when the Police in LaLa land issued a report that noted that more that 90 people were arrested last year for having sex in the park. Well-laid paths were rampant with discarded condoms, so much so that environmentalists are suggesting the sale in park vending machines of biodegradable condoms. The sites of most frequent arrests were in Elysian Park, Griffith Park and Sycamore Grove Park in northeastern L.A.
Just when we thought it was safe to go out in the park, we are being warned by the Police, that distracted lovers fondling in the parks are often victims of thefts and robberies by gang members who double as peeping Tomas’s. Those with their ass on the grass are warned to wear fanny packs around their necks while involved in private condom-sations. It’s a sad state of affairs when the donut boys interrupt your moment of bliss with a summons. The police noted to their surprise that the majority of those arrested were ”repeat suspects who have been arrested in flagrante delicto claim to be married and heterosexual." Why they thought this was strange behavior is inconceivable, every one knows that married people fuck at home and seek “stranger-fucks” in the park.
While more of the public is enjoying the parks for randy run-offs, the hotels note a 10 percent drop in occupancy. Is out in the open sex taking away the business from our motel tryst hours? The boosted rates and high sales tax has made it more expensive to book a room then it is to book most escorts, even though the hotels claim they have reduced rates by twelve percent, maybe they are referring to rats and not rates? However, the security of a locked door should appeal to our park lovers who are often miffed when a passerby asks to join in for a threesome. But, there is no harm in asking if you are the odd member out.
Back in the day, my GF was getting ready to go home for the summer and I wanted to fuck her stupid before she left so she'd have something to carry her through the summer. The only problem is, I was still a college student and during the summers, I was home- along with the rest of my family.
So after we had a nice dinner, the metropolitan park beckoned to us, and despite the horrible mosquitos, we managed to fuck ourselves into a stupor. That is, until a squad car pulled up and shined his searchlight on my ass, and my GF's pussy until we finally took the hint and got dressed.
Fortunately, no citations, just a little embarrassment- well, at least for my GF, if cops want to stare at my ass crack they can have at it.
Younger readers might say that this doesn't sound right, but it was about 1970 and cops hadn't all become assholes yet. Sometimes, they just wanted to make sure you got home, or that someone could pick you up if you'd been drinking. In the midwest, where I grew up, they didn't even shoot you first, before asking questions, like they do today. I won't say that cops were cool back then, just that they weren't huge flaming assholes, or giant dicks with ears like they are today. I guess it really was a kinder, gentler time.
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