When you have met a client and he starts making demands that you see him and only him .
When the client makes threats to you and calls and shows up at your home when he was told you have family at your home etc... When he drives through your parking lot and stops to knock on your door . When he calls you and tells you that he just drove through your parking lot at your home .

Most laws will only allow a protective order when 2 people have been involved as far as living together and or married  or a bf/gf situation .

In the case of a provider/client relationship  how does the provider explain this to someone so they can get protection without getting in trouble for their profession ?

This is a sticky one for me not to mention a scary one ..

-- Modified on 9/13/2007 11:19:43 PM

It's a shame this sort of shit happens.  Here are a few suggestions you may want to consider:

Tell the stalker not to contact you again and then stop.  A lot of stalkers get off on the fact that they get a negative reaction from their victim. It feeds their ego.

Call your phone service provider and look into blocking his number.  Many of them will do this for you.  If that fails, get a new number and give it out to friends and trusted regulars.  Use email or a form as the only contact option for new clients.  Leave the old number active and throw it in a drawer.  Keep all voicemails, emails and other notes as evidence.

You should already have a shredder and be destroying any discarded mail as he may go through your trash.

If he knows your email address, create a filter that moves them (unread) to a special folder.  Keep these for any evidence.

Tell other people in your life about the stalker, perhaps including your neighbors to ensure they don't hand out information to him.

Keep a diary.  Note every time he contacts you.  This documentation will be very handy when filing a Harassment Restraining Order.

Look into filing a Harassment Restraining Order (HRO).  It varies by state, but this is generally used when you don't have a significant or legal relationship with the stalker. Get your local women’s advocacy group or a lawyer to help you fill out the forms.  They'll also have a lot more advice for you.  If a judge approves the application, every time there's an incident it is a violation of the law. While this may not stop the stalking, it will make him eligible for arrest.  Once you have the HRO, call your local sheriff (non-emergency line and tell them.  Sometimes they will send additional patrols your way.  They will also provide advice.  Ask for the officer in charge when you call.

You may consider contacting his employer and complaining.  You'd be surprised how many companies take a dim view of this type of activity.

Hope this helps.  Bear in mind that all of this could have an "enraging" effect on him.  I'm sure you'll get some good advice from other providers that have experienced this.

Edited for a link

-- Modified on 9/14/2007 3:14:00 PM

Sure.  The police will run right out and arrest him. He'll probably just fess up and hold out his hands for the cuffs.

-- Modified on 9/14/2007 3:12:57 PM

and given the situation, it may be best to work thru a lawyer - but you should look into a restraining order of some sort.

You may have a colorable 'dating' situation (ie a legitimate claim to fall within your state's criteria).

Normally I think ROs are hardly worth the paper they're printed on, but they're usually a necessary step, and in your case, it just may do the trick.

It's hard to distinguish between a lovesick pup with a hardon, and a plain old sick puppy.  The silver lining to that cloud is that you sure have the power to unhinge his mind, and you might want to realize that you're probably holding the psychological cards.

How do you think he'd react to contrary demands from you, ie, that he behave himself and pay a premium for his misbehavior?

In my business, negotiation (however outrageous) has the advantage of helping you stay in contact with whatever's going thru his mind.

I don't know why you believe "Most laws will only allow a protective order when 2 people have been involved as far as living together and or married  or a bf/gf situation."  At least here in California that is not true.  Most people who seek restraining orders may have been in such relationships with the defendant, but that doesn't mean the law treats them differently from applicants who have not.

I'm not sure going to the police would make sense unless this man has done something to suggest he is a threat to you.  If he is just annoying you the police probably won't get involved UNLESS he is also violating a restraining order.  That is one reason it is so important to get one.

Gaij made some good suggestions.  The big problem as providers is that if you go to the police you bring unwanted attention on yourself.  Yes the PD will protect you, but then you are on their radar.

Oftentimes these things will go away.  Tell the guy in question not to contact you again and don't respond if he does. He needs to be informed that showing up at or around your house uninvited will not be tolerated.

If the situation continues or escalates (he doesn't appear to be violent or physically threatening at this time from your post) then you should do as Sidone suggests and get a restraining order understanding that it will probably cost you several hundred dollars.

Hugs,
TS Jamie

(a) A person who has suffered harassment as defined in
subdivision (b) may seek a temporary restraining order and an
injunction prohibiting harassment as provided in this section.
  (b) For the purposes of this section, "harassment" is unlawful
violence, a credible threat of violence, or a knowing and willful
course of conduct directed at a specific person that seriously
alarms, annoys, or harasses the person, and that serves no legitimate
purpose. The course of conduct must be such as would cause a
reasonable person to suffer substantial emotional distress, and must
actually cause substantial emotional distress to the plaintiff.