Cautionary tales... I made some major errors. A few months back while in a strip club I exchanged numbers with one of the girls.. whom I had seen for the first time there. She implied that she sees people at her home sometimes, though it was never specified what exactly would occur.  Text messages went on for a while after.. then a request for a hundred bucks for some emergency. Which was done at a Target lot. Then it was a request for 500 bucks as she had car trouble and her daughter needed to go to and from school. This I delivered to her place.

Then.. a request for a thousand bucks. With the notification that she had taken a picture of my license number. And she had kept copies of all the texts. And that she would go to the police if she didn't get the money. So.. she got the money. At a grocery. I then finally went online to my cell provider and chose the option to block the number.

They seem to have had some sort of technical error that removed the blocking option. Suddenly today I got texts and threatening messages, which I have not responded to. No more appealing to how her daughter needs help.. now its just comments that soon I'll have my 5 minutes of fame, and to stop that I know what I need to do.

Clearly I should have changed my phone number and my license plate earlier.. but I didn't. I don't think any texts specifically mentioned sex.. but I really don't remember. And I'm concerned that she could find my house if she has my license number.

So.. I don't really know what to do. I'm not married or anything, so thats not a problem. I do work for a state agency, so that might be a problem. It's been.. educational.

I'll post this in the general discussion and the legal boards. Sigh.

He has been extorted, given her blackmail money, and for what? He's not even married, has broken no laws that I can discern, yet has still complied to her demands.

Handling it well, would have entailed either not having given her a single red cent. Or at the least, he should have laughed in her fact when she made her first veiled threat. That would have been "handling it well".

Hobby phones are a necessity for married mongers, but really aren't absolutely necessary for those of us who are "blackmail proof". I don't have a hobby phone myself, and have no intentions of getting one, but I am divorced, self employed, no kids, and not a bit ashamed of what I do where it comes to P4P.

It doesn't sound like the OP has the stomach to get into a game of chicken with the "lady" in question, so I would rule out going to her boss, or to the cops unless and until this situation escalates. It does sound like he is at least a bit afraid he could lose his job. More than likely the best thing he can do at this point is to put her back on "ignore", she has nothing on him and will eventually go away.

Let me reiterate that this is NOT the way I would handle it, just the best advice I can muster for the OP. I don't think anybody really want to know how I would handle it, it would start with a trip back to that strip club, and the ending would most likely not be very pretty, but I don't respond well to threats, and I certainly don't recommend this course of action to the OP. lmao

This is not an uncommon problem. We got into it quite deeply once before. Sounds more like a bluff but if you fool with the wrong pussy you can end up getting scratched.You  have handled it well so far but the golden rule is no money until you feel the pussy fur from the inside. You have broken no law, just been played. You can fess up and/or shut up and go to the cops provided you can prove the shakedown occurred. Check our previous memo on subject. Remember  in the future not to reach for your wallet till the dickey bird is wet!  Sure, you can still be hit for blackmail but it is more common that you get threatened when you have shown you are a nice guy. If you had a throw away phone this could have  been avoided, also too much trust and info given to a stranger! Also, it is true that that nice guys finish last, i.e. a gruff manly response can save you being  treated  like a sucker...she is the one who has the most to lose.


-- Modified on 12/11/2010 7:29:10 AM

First I would talk to my lawyer to make sure I can't get in any real trouble. Then I run to the cops and give them everything I have on this chick. In your post it sounds like you broke no laws so you have little to fear unless you are a known person that needs a good image to do your job at the state agency.

In short I would go after this chick with everything I legally can and take the fallout but I am aggressive that way. The last person who tried to out me was a vice cop, who also was my cousin, lost his job over it as my wife and I don't take kindly to such behavior. He had nothing on me besides my info on a lady of the night's work phone. I don't take kindly to such behavior.

Good luck to you in dealing with this chick. Be aggressive and save the next guy from this predator.

I just want to say it is really sad that females act this way!  Really?  I hate when people screw people over!  But in reality, did she really take a photo of your plate?  How? When? Where where you?  Just wondering if she is bluffing like a good poker game???

At the moment... just sitting cool. If the problems recurs, then I do feel a little more comfortable in going to the cops if needed. I would PREFER not to have to do that... hopefully it will go away. At least TMobiles 'Never Call' option seems to be working again!!

Could be a bluff... ! Hopefully is.

she is ripe for the picking.

It is not illegal to go to a strip club or to exchange numbers with girls. That happens a few billion times a day.

If nothing was implied, you have nothing to worry about. I doubt she even has your number. In all likely hood the cops will protect you as the victim and your state agency boss will not even find out about the case.

If you really want to be bold, go back to the strip club and report her to management. If this is an upscale strip club, she will be kicked out in no time. Management will not take kindly to her messing around with their client dollars.

I will concede he hasn't panicked, but I vehemently disagree that he has handled this well. He has tacitly admitted to her that he "can" be balckmailed by caving to her intitial demands. I don't call that "handling it well"

I would agree th doing nothing is probably his best course of action. Apparently he feels he has done "something" wrong or illegal, and if he escalates the situation she may use whatever she has on him just for spite, as you stated, more than likely his state job.

My comment about returning to the strip club was meant to be tongue in cheek, it's easy to have "big balls" on an internet site. I can't imagine myself ever allowing something like this to ever get this far to begin with, and truth be told if I ever were in this type of situation I would make certain the "lady" understood that there are certain people that should not be fucked with, and that I was one of those people. Unfortunately that option is no longer available to the OP, his prior behavior has nullified that option, short of putting a gun to her head, she will never believe he is capable of retaliation.

Unfortunately some people take kindness as weakness, and once they get that idea in their head, changing their mind of the subject is much more difficult.

he hasn't panicked, he has tried to hide his trail by changing numbers, he has sought advice, matters like this are best left to go away as legal options are a last resort and once started become public record...your idea of returning to the club to make a scene reminds me of my old friend Otto who was found three years later buried in the desert....we found his car the week he went missing but the boy took a while--and if he is not married, he may lose his state job as a result of his actions in associating with what is probably some "baad" company. It ain't right but it happens!

-- Modified on 12/12/2010 8:20:09 AM

This does not happen often but this is the second case on this board within recent memory.  This must be handled right from the outset.  

Just as a lady must handle an obcessed admirer right every step of the way.  

There are many bumps along these roads, but if you are prepared for them, you don't make mistakes which encourage bad behavior.
skb

...remember the Letterman case??

Don't remember the details, but I do remember he went public and went after the lady who was going after her.

Care to provide the details?

A dozen or so years ago I was blackmailed.  After the first pay off or two, I realized there was not going to be an end.  The woman had made the mistake of leaving some threats of my v-mail.  I gave the recordings to my attorney who took them to a judge and got a temporary restraining order on the bitch, for 10 years.  The shut her down fast.  The mistake is to make the first payment.  I learned my lesson the hard way.