I knew it was 14lbs because when I got to the ‘check in’ my bag was 10lbs over weight. Even though I had enough cash to cover five dates for this trip, no way was I spending an extra $25 for over weight baggage. So I removed the ‘tie sack’ containing all my hobby equipment and bingo, now my bag was 4lbs under. I threw the sack into my backpack and marched off to airport security packing 14lbs of cock for week long Vegas vacation. All I had to do was get through homeland security.
No such luck. Do you know what 14lbs of dildos look like in an airport scanner? It looks like a damn multi-color “penis bouquet”. Now it wasn’t all dildos, there were two strap-ons (one was hollow), a two foot double dong, a set of handcuffs, 12 foot of Japanese “sex rope”, a fresh filled script of little blue pills, nipple clamps, a gross of condoms and a foot long battery operated “cock monster” that moved like a snake with a flick of a switch.
The convo I the back room went like this:
Homeland Security: this is quite a collection (chuckle)
Me: I’m going to Vegas
Homeland Security: (Puzzled look)
Me: It’s my first orgy
Homeland Security: (contained laughter). And what about all these envelopes?
Before I learned the adult method of carrying cash, a separate bank ATM card with a branch in Vegas AND Philadelphia, I used to carry cash on my person. This year, with an especially busy schedule, I put it in a series of envelopes each marked a different day of the week.
Me: That’s my gambling money!!
Homeland Security: Two of them are marked AM and PM?
Me: I like to pace my self.
Convinced I wasn’t trying to hijack the plane with strap-ons and viagra, I was sent on my way. I had to open all the envelopes, cash is allowed, just not in sealed envelopes. When my first date of the week got hers she thought it was for a different provider. Apparently there’s a local girl named “PM Tuesday” that’s a real spitfire.
