Las Vegas
Sorry this is going to be long . So lets start with Part One
Well as promised - what to do with those pretend reference friendly providers ??
I am aware that some will think this is a great idea , while some may get very pissed ......but oh well what is life with out a bit of controversy 
.........so here goes .........
Well, if a shameless provider has no shame , then shame her.
NO , never by gossip of he/she say. If you don't have hard core evidence written in black and white
you can not shame . Why ?
Because you can't always believe something , because someone said .....
Let me give you an example -
I had a provider email me for a reference request. The name of gent and his email was included but it didn't ring a bell.
I email the provider back asking if maybe there is more info she can share that may help jog my
memory about the gent. OR maybe ask the gent if you used a different email address when he emailed me .
Her answer - Well you were his first , he is in his 40's and he wrote a review.
My answer - Ummm you just described many gents I meet ( since I am newbie friendly ) and that doesn't include regulars or repeat gents that I see. But since I don't know for sure who this is, it must be someone I saw only ONCE. sorry I can't be sure 100% right now , maybe if he can say WHEN he saw me, that may help.
She emails me back one word - NEVERMIND.
I am thinking ok then , I was just trying to help even though this is already too many back and fourth emails .
The next day I get this long angry email from the gent - I can't believe you don't remember me.
I saw you ONCE 7-8 years ago. I thought our time was so special. I thought you enjoyed our time too.
I was like huh ??? I never said I didn't remember you ........ and in my head I thought - wow is this guy for real ??? once 7-8 years ago ? really ?
but that is what the other provider told him - Sorry , Cindy doesn't remember you .
( yes I got that in black and white
My point is - people say things to people in ways that words get twisted and that is how gossip is created.
So one must be careful about that.
So what about the provider who has no shame and pretends to not remember the gent but yet emails the gent begging for an appointment ??
well first off in order to keep the system honest , the gent has to also be honest and not agree to see a provider that is begging him and offering him a better deal.
Honesty is a two way street
To be continued with part two ............
So the gent who wants a reference should email the provider he is using as a reference to give her a heads up.
This also helps the provider who is getting the reference request to remember who the gent is and also helps her to look out for a reference request email.
It is even better if the gent gives info from whom to expect the request .
The gent should CC that email to the provider he wants to see.
This way the provider who is sending the request knows that the provider was given a heads up.
So lets say this email was sent to a "shameless provider" ........... maybe seeing that the heads up was CC'd to the other provider will make her think twice about doing something shameless.
Let's say is doesn't , and the shameless provider still has no shame and she emails back the gent -
Hey , why don't you see me ? I will offer you a discount .
Well now we have hard core proof that the shameless provider is being shameless.
Now the gent can do one or two things - not reply to the shameless provider and just forward the
email that he got from the shameless provider to the provider he wants to see.
and that should be enough as proof of reference.
BUT , the provider receiving this email needs to keep this to herself and not email the shameless provider and not create drama.
If the gent wants to take another step although it may cause some issues or drama.
He can email back the shameless provider -
thank you so much for your generous offer and thanks also for showing me your true colors.
I think it is very unladylike to undercut another provider. I really thought you were better then that .
Maybe you are going through a hard time , so I am not judging you . But remember there is a thing called Karma. You might want in future to reconsider how you do business. Wishing you all the best .
Maybe shaming the provider will make her change her ways.
No one is perfect. We make mistakes. Everyone deserves a second chance ....... Even Charlie Sheen got a second/third chance ....... maybe more , I lost count LOL LOL LOL
Maybe the shameless provider doesn't even think she is doing something shameless because others took her up on her offer.
So in her mind maybe this is ok
Well , when one rewards unladylike behavior , how can one learn ??
OR she won't care and just continue with her old ways......oh well , at least we tried
but in the mean time the other provider gets her answer about the reference.
Now my suggestions may not be perfect because I don't do shameless things and I don't know what other things a shameless provider may do as my brain doesn't think in shameless ways .
I am aware that maybe this will cause a shameless provider to go rogue. But , I think
she has just as much to loose and is better off just realizing she should be a lady , learn from her
mistake and move on .
Any questions or comments you may raise your hand now
And please be man or women enough to post with your original handle name ...... or keep your thoughts to yourself
xoxo CindySpice
P.S. Content of these posts ( part one and part two ) have been copyscaped to CindySpice
Please do not copy or plagiarize , Thank You.
TER has permission by original author ( CindySpice ) to post this content on this board