It's true. This is not a joke. Tonight, I did the most despicable thing - I lashed out in anger and struck a female. This is the second time in my life that I have done so... and no mater why, there is no reason to do so...


There is no excuse for my actions - I have no defense, it doesn't mater who/why/how, I should have never done such a thing and I deserve to rot in hell for my actions and GOD will see to that - I don't ask for his (or anybody else's) forgiveness, nor understanding, I hope this maybe a lesson to be learned to those out there - NEVER BOTTLE YOUR FEELINGS, ALWAYS COMMUNICATE, NEVER HOLD IT IN... This is my biggest problem and unfortunately, I lashed out to someone who didn't deserve such treatment - NO ONE SHOULD. She bore the front of all my anger and I had no right to do such a thing. It doesn't mater who I am or whatever "stature" I may hold in this community. One of my philosophy is tell it like it is... well this is one example...


I don't want nor asked for any symphony or understanding and especially forgiveness - I hope to convey a lesson to be learned and that lesson is never hold your feelings in, speak your mind, and those who hurt you should know. otherwise, you will wind up biter and angry - like myself.


Please don't bother to answer this thread nor try to contact me, I don't care how anyone remembers me, the truth should be told, I don't want to be a "mayter" or poster boy for some cause, I would prefer that my name be removed from every board and that I never be mentioned again - God will take care of the rest, justice will be served.



My other transgression is that I left a female in pain because I could not stand up and express my feelings to those who may have hurt me.


I should have accepted my fate and not tried to prolong the inevitable. I have hurt too many people and I no longer wish to hurt anyone else.


If God has mercy, I asked that he overlooked those who I ever hurt and to the other whether they be friend or foe learn from my words try to treat those who truly love you on kind and to speak up to those who take advantage of you.

-- Modified on 2/16/2003 6:46:14 AM