A couple of weeks ago, I decided to do some consolidation with my phone numbers and migrated my old hobby phones over to Google Voice. I still had a few people I kept in touch with utilizing my older phone numbers, so I went ahead and texted people my new number.
One of the people in my phone book was a provider that I had seen a couple of times in the past, but not within the last 9 months or so (damn you, unemployment!). I sent her a text letting her know that I was changing numbers—basically, a form message I was sending to all of the other people on the list.
She writes back and asks who I am. I try to give her a couple of clues as to who I am (she is not an LV local but rather a regular visitor) to no avail; I am just not able to job her memory.
No big deal, but for some reason, I seem determined to remind her of who I am, going so far as to send her a picture of myself.
Nothing. I'm a ghost. So I decide to bail on the conversation, as it is going nowhere. I did mention that I had seen her before in a professional capacity.
She asked me what I did for a living. I said that I was currently unemployed, but I told her what my prior field was.
Her response, "So, that means you're broke, right?"
Well, damn.
I answer that, yes, being unemployed does mean that I am "broke" in a sense. I then decided to leave the conversation and (politely) told her that I would not bother her ever again.
I know I probably wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer by texting her in the first place, and I didn't really plan on engaging in a drawn out game of "Guess Who?"
But the blowoff seemed a bit harsh to me. Suffice it to say, but when I do become a bit more flush with cash, she will definitely not be getting a call from me.
It always sucks to be reminded that, to some of the gals out there, we're just ATM's.
I have to agree. Not that I ever truly forget that, but it's an experience that hadn't been presented to me in such stark relief in a long time.
I'm confused why you found this surprising. It's p4p. You do realize that many ladies wouldn't sleep with 90%+ of their clients if they happened to see them in a civy situation right? How many ladies have actually offered to hang with you off the clock?
Sometimes I don't know about the human race...
Any business relies upon each of the parties being able to meet respective obligations. So it is in the oldest profession. I have many clients I can no longer do business with because of the economy, I don't rub their noses in the fact that they are on hard times. I wish them well and offer to help anyway I can.
I know of at least one provider who even has gone as far as reducing her rate for regulars that have seen a large drop in income.
Karma is a bitch for some of these gals.
I have actually hung with a couple of different ladies off the clock. I even had one buy me dinner (on her) off the clock. She was unique.
And I realize that based on my looks, I am part of the 90% that you speak of. And I am a member of the human race, so if that does bother you, then I am so sorry for having darkened your pixels with my little tale this afternoon. Feel free to stop reading right here (if you are) and carry on your merry way. Fare thee well.
I found it surprising because, quite frankly, I wasn't expecting the fifth degree grilling I received only to be told if you're broke to leave me the fuck alone. This is from someone who would often text blast me when she was in town to let me know she was visiting.
I am not a naif, but I do not believe I had an unreasonable expectation to not be asked, "So, you're broke, right?" To me, its bad for business. But what do I know? I've only dabbled in the hobby for 15 years now; I'm not as fully committed as others are.
If nothing else, I was hoping that my tale would serve as that reminder for those who DO find themselves getting attached that for some, we are nothing more than a source of revenue.
Hanging with one of my Vegas (or anywhere, for that matter) ATFs this past week; she told me that this past Sep/Oct/Nov period was particularly slow, and she was getting calls from other girls, begging for some referrals, as some of them were literally facing eviction!
It never hurts to be nice, cordial, and personable--like any other business, sometimes things are slow for the producers, other times it might be slow for the consumers. Even if you can't do business today, you may be in a position to do so six months or a year down the road.
What's the old saying? "Be kind to the people you meet on the way up, because you may meet them again on the way down."
Just my $0.02.
This is a great point!
Interesting thread...for a business of such personal interaction, in many ways it can be quite impersonal, for all of us. I am constantly trying to find, and remind myself of, the balance between heart and wallet. We all fall down that way sometimes.
Just gotta keep trying!!
Too much heart can mean getting hurt when you are marginalized as "just a working girl".
Too much distance can come off as cold, and crude, as in this scenerio.
Gee, sounds like dating in real life!!
sigh....
When dealing with other people I always try to remember that I don't know what's going on in their personal life and that it could be a reason a person acts in a certain way. I was on flight to Chicago from Houston once and got the dreaded middle seat. I was in the middle of mother and her young son. She told me she books seats apart so she could have the whole row.(full flight and I didn't book the ticket) Her son was out of control kicking the seat in front of him, using the restroom too many times to count. The mother never said anything to her son. I never said anything and went out of my way to be nice to the lady and the boy. The dude across the isle wasn't so nice and ripped into the lady. He called her a bad parent and other mean things. The lady apologized and said she just lost her husband and the father of her son. That she was out of it and so was her son. My perception of the situation changed. I went from being somewhat aggravated to feeling sad for the lady. People throw out " Karma's a bitch" statement without knowing all the details. Maybe there was something going on in her life that played into the statement," your broke."
Just another way of looking at the situation. I wouldn't give up on her just yet. There was a reason you kept her number. Maybe there's a reason she responded the way she did.
Interesting thread...for a business of such personal interaction, in many ways it can be quite impersonal, for all of us. I am constantly trying to find, and remind myself of, the balance between heart and wallet. We all fall down that way sometimes.
Just gotta keep trying!!
Too much heart can mean getting hurt when you are marginalized as "just a working girl".
Too much distance can come off as cold, and crude, as in this scenerio.
Gee, sounds like dating in real life!!
sigh....
...it's called a paradigm shift. The story is a little different from the book, but the same plot line essentially. It is a very effective way to look at situations in life and after a few rough sessions lately, I wish more would think in these terms. There are reasons for actions which usually are not what you think. This isn't a half glass full approach, it is a full glass approach. Thanks for posting this!!
Just another way of looking at the situation. I wouldn't give up on her just yet. There was a reason you kept her number. Maybe there's a reason she responded the way she did.
Interesting thread...for a business of such personal interaction, in many ways it can be quite impersonal, for all of us. I am constantly trying to find, and remind myself of, the balance between heart and wallet. We all fall down that way sometimes.
Just gotta keep trying!!
Too much heart can mean getting hurt when you are marginalized as "just a working girl".
Too much distance can come off as cold, and crude, as in this scenerio.
Gee, sounds like dating in real life!!
sigh....
Sure it's bad for her business. However I don't know too many ladies that you'd like to see in this hobby or the rest of society who would respond favorably to "I'm unemployed". And that's why I responded the way I did. It seemed that you should've known better than to say something that so devalues your worth to her as a client.
You're right on the attachment idea. If she won't see you without an envelope in hand, then all you have is a business relationship.
And I realize that based on my looks, I am part of the 90% that you speak of. And I am a member of the human race, so if that does bother you, then I am so sorry for having darkened your pixels with my little tale this afternoon. Feel free to stop reading right here (if you are) and carry on your merry way. Fare thee well.
I found it surprising because, quite frankly, I wasn't expecting the fifth degree grilling I received only to be told if you're broke to leave me the fuck alone. This is from someone who would often text blast me when she was in town to let me know she was visiting.
I am not a naif, but I do not believe I had an unreasonable expectation to not be asked, "So, you're broke, right?" To me, its bad for business. But what do I know? I've only dabbled in the hobby for 15 years now; I'm not as fully committed as others are.
If nothing else, I was hoping that my tale would serve as that reminder for those who DO find themselves getting attached that for some, we are nothing more than a source of revenue.
Change your panties and stop being a drama llama!!
-- Modified on 2/10/2013 10:04:05 PM
Since I don't wear panties, it would be impossible for me to change them.
So sorry to have wasted your fucking time.