My God the nerve of these people ..its highway robbery..I wonder if you can cut out the private table at te JET Nightclub, being the man of the people that I am, and shave off a couple thou..

Oh, food is included isnt it?..Not clear on that and they need to be if they want my business.

Okay now I admit the onstage assistant to Terry Factor and controlling the volcano button is cool so maybe I can be talked into it but only if Lorena comes with me..

NO, it's not a package I'm offering lol but the Mirage is offering a week-long Valentine's Day package for $41,000.  From Luxist.com, The Love Starts Here Mega package includes:

• Five nights at The Villas at The Mirage with exclusive 24-hour butler service, private backyard with a pool, hot tub and putting green.

• Rolls Royce transportation to The Mirage and gated entrance to ensure private arrival.

• An "ultimate crystallized celebration" with Bling H2O, Moet & Chandon bubbly and a six-course Decadent Degustation Menu in your private villa.

• A private makeover session with Hollywood style guru and celebrity colorist Kim Vo, along with a massage, facial, manicure, pedicure and make-up session.

• A private table with bottle service at the resort's JET Nightclub.

• A backstage tour of The Beatles LOVE by Cirque du Soleil show.

• Be a dolphin trainer for a day at Siegfried and Roy's Dolphin Habitat.

• Be the on-stage assistant at Terry Fator: Ventriloquism in Concert.

• Be in charge of the button and launch the activation of The Mirage Volcano.


The package is being offered through late April so there's plenty of  time to plan ahead with that special someone!

The lady of my choice each evening.

We sure as hell wouldn't be spending it in LV....

I'm thinking Europe. Go see where our ancestors came from, and where I was born. Hatched. Found under a rock. Whatever.

For 41k? We could see sooo much more shit than Vegas.

The Louvre in Paris. Picadilly in London. Get totally fucking high in Amsterdam. Do Greek in Greece.

Yeah, I know that ain't happenin'! Said that for the other's amusement!

See the Vatican, and eat REAL Italian food. Go to Germany, my birthplace, and drink REAL beer!

Then on the way back, hit up Spain, and let my cousins fawn allover your gorgeous self!

Then, if there's anything left, take a detour to the Bahamas, or Virgin Islands to decompress. You know, relax on the beach and take loooong naps in each other's arms, laying in a huge hammock, before I wake you to yet another sufficient fucking!

Let me know if this is satisfactory for you.

From what I'm told, this scenario might not be too far away....!