Young girl from Donegal leaves home to find work among the bright lights of London. Comes home 6 months later and steps out of a taxi, wearing a full-length mink coat. "Begorrah, Colleen" says her mother "'Tis a lovely soft coat yer wearin' - an' it looks so expensive. Where did ye get that?" Colleen replies, "Sure now, I won it at the bingo. Don't they have wonderful prizes in London." When the weekend's over, Colleen returns to the bright lights, but she's back to visit her mom a few months later. This time, when she steps out of the taxi, she's wearing a beautiful gold wristwatch and a large diamond ring. (Same exchange with mom -- same "Won it at bingo. " Then Colleen returns to the bright lights once again.) A few months later, she's back again. And this time she's sporting a beautiful emerald and diamond necklace with matching bracelet and earrings. She hands her mother 1,000 pounds and explains that she won it all at the bingo. Then she asks her mom to run her a bath as she needs to freshen up. Her mom draws the bath while Colleen gets undressed in her bedroom, but when she gets to the washroom, there's only a quarter inch of hot water in the bathtub. Colleen, a wee bit peeved at her mom being so cheap with the hot water after being handed 1,000 pounds, calls downstairs, "Mom! Sure now didn't I ask you to run me a bath? There's only a quarter inch of water in the tub!" "Indade there is, me darlin'" replies her mom. "But we don't want ye gettin' yer bingo ticket wet now, do we?"
A lady goes to her Irish priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem.
I have two female parrots,
But they only know how to say one thing.'
'What do they say?' the Irish priest inquired.
They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'
That's obscene!' the Irish priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment.
'You know,' he said, 'I may have a solution to your problem.
I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.
My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, And your parrots are sure to stop saying . . That phrase . . In no time.'
Thank you,' the woman responded, 'this may very well be the solution.'
The next day, She brought her female parrots to the Irish priest's house.
As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'
There was stunned silence.
Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot And exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!
I'm in the mood to laugh and see what Jokes, Quotes, Poems you can come up with so please feel free to post them.
1. If you’re enough lucky to be Irish, you’re lucky enough! –Irish saying
2. Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers. –Unknown
3. Here’s to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one A pretty girl and an honest one A cold beer – and another one! – St. Patrick’s Day Toast
4. It is better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money! –Irish toast
5. An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. –Irish saying
6. There are only two kinds of people in the world, The Irish and those who wish they were. –Irish saying
7. Irish diplomacy is the ability to tell a man to go to hell so that he looks forward to making the trip. –Irish saying
8. An Irishman has an abiding sense of tragedy which sustains him through temporary periods of joy. –Irish saying
9. The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. –Irish saying
10. Anyone acquainted with Ireland knows that the morning of St. Patrick’s Day consists of the night of the seventeenth of March flavored strongly with the morning of the eighteenth. –Uknown
11. May your blessings outnumber The shamrocks that grow, And may trouble avoid you Wherever you go. –Irish blessing
12. Never iron a four-leaf clover, because you don’t want to press your luck. –Unknown
13. A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have. –Unknown
14. The list of Irish saints is past counting; but in it all no other figure is so human, friendly, and lovable as St. Patrick – who was an Irishman only by adoption. –Stephen Gwynn
15. St. Patrick… one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish. –Charles M. Madigan
16. May misfortune follow you the rest of your life, but never catch up. –Irish saying
17. May your home always be too small to hold your friends. –Irish toast
18. May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead. —Irish prayer
19. May you never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten. –Irish blessing
20. In Heaven there is no beer that’s why we drink it here! –Irish saying
21. May God bless and keep in good health your enemies’ enemies. –Irish blessing
22. May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past. –Irish saying
23. Here’s to you and yours and to mine and ours. And if mine and ours ever come across to you and yours, I hope you and yours will do as much for mine and ours as mine and ours have done for you and yours! –Irish toast
24. May you live as long as you want and never want as long as you live. –Irish saying
25. Drink is the curse of the land. It makes you fight with your neighbor. It makes you shoot at your landlord-and it makes you miss him. –Irish saying
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