I'd like to make a wager on the "don't" line, please.

Dude, you're trying way too hard to deny your cred. Waaaaayyy too hard.

But welcome, anyway.

If your really new to all this as you say, the best link for you right now is this:
http://www.theeroticreview.com/reviews/searchReviews.asp

You can spend a lot of time searching and searching, reading reviews, etc.

If you are local then keep up with this board and the information provided. You will notice in short time who you will be able to get help from and who not.

Also, the newbie board is a great place to review previous posts and activity to get a quick feel of what goes on in "The Hobby". Good Luck

You're in good company here sweetie he he he

Oh and, the dogs bark worse than they bite so don't worry about those, just have fun and be safe please.