A navigator, a calculator, a translator, a dictionary, a thesaurus, a spreadsheet, a word processor, an iPod, a contact list, a calander, a PDF storage (my mothers medical info), a radio (pandora), a chess tutor, GIF porn storage, a memo recorder, a banking interface, a camera, photo storage, movie tickets and reviews, a map, a note pad, a bad habit breaker / good habit promoter (healthy habits), a burn phone, a clock, a timer, a GPS and topo map (for back woods hiking), groupon storage, Facebook, evite, amazon, pay pal, email, to to list, poker and craps simulator, and to post on the Internet. In fact, I'm on my phone now taking a shit.
Oh, and it also makes a phone call.